To expect my husband to support me?

The vibes I'm getting exactly!

@GiggleHoot do you defend and take care of him too? Adult relationships should work both ways- you should be equals. Or at least that's how I see it.

And OP- it sounds like you're very different people with very different approaches to life/tolerance levels. It's tricky because he should support you, as your partner but obviously doesn't see the issue with certain situations himself. It can be hard finding a balance between supporting someone and not just blindly agreeing with everything they say.

Hard for strangers on the internet to comment on whether your husband is right or wrong as we only have your version of events and most things in life are never that straightforward.....

....... with the exception of whether it's ok to recline your seat on a plane.

Yes, it's technically allowed, but you are unreasonable to have not realised that it's an incredibly contentious issue and that it's very likely that the person you're reclining back into will be having negative thoughts about it and you. (unless the lights are off and its actually night time)

If you don't care about that or what people think about you, then go ahead and recline away.

I saw something elsewhere about resigning seats so that if you want to recline you have to move the seat forward, that way you would encroach only on your own space. Sounds ideal to me, although they'd have to move the trays I suppose.

Your husband has been totally disrespectful to you OP. I would be seriously pissed off.

Just because one article says it is OK doesn't mean it is. Clearly from this thread experiences differ.

Personally I would never recline my seat without checking as I think it is immensely rude to at least not check if the person has a laptop or beverage before moving their seat.

I think overall it has to do with personal space and feeling threatened.

What kind of weird airlines do you fly? All airlines I fly have reclining seats.

It seems like your dh is happy just t let life happen. It seems you have different styles in terms of issues. I would absolutely be making a list of complaints, my husband would absolutely not be doing that. But we are happy together.

Are you and your dh happy in spite of these issues?

I agree with him!

I get it OP. This isn't about the seat reclining. It's about wanting and needing your husband to have your back. My exH was the same. Seemed to take pleasure in it.

Thank goodness most airlines don't have reclining seats anymore- it's so annoying when the person in front does this! It's just polite to sit up properly!

Or he disagrees with his wife but isn't supposed to voice it!

Does MN actually allow husbands to have a contrary opinion to their wives in anything? I thought they were supposed to 'support' her, whatever their personal opinion might be!

My husband is marvellous. We are two peas in a pod and he defends/takes care of me. It’s nice to be treated like a lady and be respected. If I were the Op I’d leave.

Your husband should have your back and as someone who works in the airline industry, I can tell you now that there is no issue with reclining outside of meal times - particularly on long haul flights. No one has ever asked me and I fly quite often. The only people saying you need to ask either only fly short haul, don’t fly (often) or are trying to appear saintly. Makes me vomit.

Get a life.

I never ask. I don't recline my seat on short haul and make sure my seat is always up for meals. Other than that I recline it if I feel like
It. To be honest nobody has ever asked me
If it's on to recline.

People that recline are my pet hate on long haul flights. No I don’t want you in my lap thank you very much.

you sound awful and I don’t blame your husband tbh

Right I understand you would like a bit of support and he doesn’t support you when you feel annoyed with people, whereas a friend or sister would step in and say ‘what a cow!’ And make you feel better.

Just one point though, I think I have misunderstood but are you saying you expected the pilot to fly faster because you had departed late?
if so, It doesn’t work like that.

Like PP have said, it's not just a case of the pilot putting his foot down to get there faster. There may be parts of the journey where they can increase their speed but only if and when it's safe and they have permission. Wind speed and direction also play a huge part in flight times and aircraft speed. It's not like driving a bus 🤣

But none of that stuff bothers him! You’re fuming and drafting complaints on your phone and he’s just sitting there in relative peace getting on with his life and not fussed. I mean, if you want to complain then do it, but he doesn’t have to get involved. It’s kind of unfair to expect him to get as angry and frustrated as you were when it sounds like he was ok as he was.

I have literally never asked anyone before l have reclined an airline seat?! It’s not that much an imposition surely; l can balance a drink / and or laptop if other people do.

He sounds like my ex husband, for the last 2-3 years of our relationship l was AKWAYS wrong. Statistically how could l be wrong every time for 5 years.

MN loves a pile on but I understand. You want to feel supported and backed up by your partner. You want to feel that they're concerned about you, not, 'Oh well, not my problem.'

I'm sorry it upsets you. It is hard not to be able to see eye to eye with your partner. He may never be able to match your energy, but you might consider having a chat with him about why it upsets you that he doesn't even try to understand why you're upset in the first place? He might just be trying to "not get involved" when all you want is a bit of solidarity.

Either that or consider getting a therapist if you can afford it - it's their job to listen to you be angry about stuff and they won't make you feel judged or unheard.

Sorry OP, but that isn’t a ‘him’ issue. It’s a ‘you’ issue

It isn’t reasonable to expect him to have feelings on a subject at a required level to match your own