To expect my husband to support me?

With respect, you are nuts.

It’s not possible to just speed up a flight.

Lunch at 3pm, heaven forbid!

My other half has similar behaviour to you sometimes.

He will point out negative things or frame things in a negative way. It’s a symptom of his mild depression. It comes and goes, and if he’s made aware of it, will make an effort to change.

My approach is, if you can’t control it, how does it benefit you to carry that negativity away from the initial event and into your life? i.e. Do you want to spend the rest of your holiday dwelling about the flight there?

He is most definitely tired of your overreactions and doesn’t want to amplify the negativity by agreeing with you.

OP, I have taken over 100 flights in my adult life. Not once have I ever been asked if I mind the person in front reclining their seat. DH takes around 50 flights a year and he’s never been asked either.

precisely this, he should stick up for her in this scenario but not reclining on top of someone

every person knows just because you have the right does not mean you should.

Yes it’s perfectly ok to complain about a flight being late, I think it was the comment they ‘didn’t speed up’ that people were wondering about.

Nobody has ever asked me if they could recline their chair.

Your DH sounds a bit lame but in his defence it sounds like it's just his general personality to be very calm and not get ruffled. Which is actually a nice trait really. So at least you know it's not that he doesn't care about you, it's just that he doesn't get worked up about the same things you do. Right?

I do get the frustration at having a DH that minimises how you feel. My DH once told me I acted crazy when I was in labour and I've never really forgiven him tbh. I was treated really badly by medical staff. He had my back at the time and was great throughout, but it really hurt to hear he didn't fully empathise with what I was going through despite witnessing what a shit show it was and seeing how much pain I was in.

Still not given another example of him not backing you, I see 😂

@Imgoingtobefree

I think a lot of men have selfish traits ( not all ) my husband's attitude is if it doesn't affect him or it's nothing do with him he doesn't care . He will also defer to people he thinks are socially a notch above him and expects me to do the same . I worked out early on In our relationship that he likes to be seen in a good light. I used to be the one that spoke up if I thought something or someone was unfair while he just stood there looking the good guy . I've stopped doing it now. He says are you going to say something. Nope !

HUGE difference between possibly losing £25k and reclining an airplane seat...

Sorry meant O/P husband went on to laugh and joke with the aggressor

The fact that the O/P went on to joke and laugh with the aggressor would have boiled my piss . I think this is what the O/P is upset about .She didn't want her husband to wade in guns blazing she just wanted some concern and support like a hug .

Ok, but you should check first - and I’d probably not do it until I’m ready to sleep - about 10.

You must have mislicked. Because no one sane can see how @Wooloohooloo 's post warrants that reply

Absolutely not. If I want to put my reclining seat back, then I’ll do so - I don’t need permission from someone behind me.

If you don’t want to be behind a reclined seat, fly with an airline without reclining seats, book a front row or upgrade.

@MsRosley well if your husband is like mine - then you have my every sympathy.

My user name is because I’m near the end of a long and ugly divorce.
I had been unhappy for many years when I realised how unequal our relationship was, the crux was I suppose that he did not think I was his equal and I guess that’s how he justified treating me so unfairly.

I sought therapy and my therapist thought he had narcissistic traits. The more I read up on that, the more he seemed to fit the bill.

What really breaks my heart is that when we were first together I thought he was a good person. Now I am older and wiser I can see how I was manipulated from the start.

When I behaved how he wanted, he was nice to me and said all the right things. Over the years as I resented always doing the things the way he wanted and tried to stick up for myself, the gloves came off and he was as nasty as he could be. But only to me in private, and he never badmouthed me to others.

But I walked on eggshells for years and became afraid to counter anything he said. That’s not a life.

I get my state pension next year, but I refuse to look back with regrets. It’s only the future I’m interested in.

MsRosley, think long and hard what you want in life. Look up narcissistic traits (it’s not the same as the Narcissist Personality Disorder). Living with someone like this (and there won’t just be this one issue about being unsupportive), is like being the boiled frog - you don’t realise how bad it is - until you do.

Me neither. You don't see a whole plane of passengers keep looking over the back of their seat to ask to put the seat down.

I am middle aged and have been on many, many flights. Not once has anyone in front of me ever asked if they could recline their seat and I have never overheard anyone else doing it. It just isn’t a thing.

Did you not read the other post, he also wasn’t on side when she wanted to write a letter of complaint to the airline because her plane was late taking off and the pilot wouldn’t fly it quicker…🙄

We don’t recline our seats. It’s rude.

If you are on a night flight and everyone is okay to recline then this is the only exception. However, no one in my family would ever recline a seat without asking first.

Divorce your DH and find someone as rude as yourself and then you will know you can rely on him to back you up.

It's always rude to recline your seat. I push back too when people do it.

Are you by any chance not british and married to a british man ? I ask as British worry about not complaining more than my one eles ? I can’t for the life of me grasp why

You shouldn't have given this example as MN can be like a dog with a bone and will ignore your actual issue.

I assume there are other ways you don't feel he's onside?

I'm not being high and mighty? I asked you a question and I'm offering OP a perspective on why it can be difficult in relationships when you have different approaches to life.

You sound kind like fun. So high and mighty teaching people how to suck eggs.