Is this insanity or could it work?

OP, I would really recommend to you the Facebook group The Beyond Sleep Training Project where you will find loads of help, advice and information on how to create a safe sleep set up (and also on what normal childhood sleep actually looks like!).

It is completely normal for an eight month old baby to fall asleep with an adult caregiver. As you've experienced, it doesn't mean they will wake up constantly! Our two year old is breastfed or rocked to sleep, placed down and sleeps through. We did no "training", it's developmental and they all do it when they're ready. I sit with his six year old brother while he falls asleep, we listen to kids' meditations and he then also sleeps through.

It's also really normal for a baby to need milk at night!

Although there are some quite extreme sleep training methods out there (Ferber or extinction for example), they are not recommended. Most good sleep consultants can help to sleep train without this.

This.

Get her a floor bed! That way you can cuddle her to sleep and just get up, she’s safe and she has her own bed. Don’t leave her alone in your bed, it won’t be safe.

How about putting a single floor bed in her room now? Then she can fall asleep in the same way she is now, but she'll be in her bed, not yours, and not far to fall if she rolls or crawls off. You'd need to baby-proof the room, but you'd need to do that eventually anyhow.

I think there's an IKEA bed you can hack as a floor bed now and then it becomes a regular bed (or maybe a mid-sleeper?) later, so it could be her bed for years.

I haven't read every post so sorry if it's been mentioned but how about side-carring a cot to your bed - we took the side off an IKEA cot and did this (instructions online), or a floor bed, so you can feed then roll away and go to your own bed? You can use from birth (look up Lyndsey Hookway on Instagram she has a highlight on it) and if they roll off they don't have far too go.
Definitely doesn't sound like you need to sleep train.

When I wanted to stop co sleeping I got a floor bed in DD's room for her, that way you can do normal bed time routine and not worry about them falling out.

It's crazy how many people are telling you that you ''must'' sleep train. Believe it or not, not everyone wants to leave their babies to cry alone. I never would.

Well at best it's a temporary solution as the minute she can roll or crawl it's impossible.

I'm afraid you're going to have to sleep-train her in her cot.

You'll have three weeks of hell, but she will learn how to do it. My first was very hard to sleep train, my second was easier.

Good luck!

The fuck.

Health Visitors can either give advive on or refer to people to give advice about sleeping routines, but also safe sleeping, which sounds like an issue here. Op also mentioned she was concerned with the weaning.

Please don’t leave her alone in a double bed. That is really risky and she could get hurt.

you are going to have to persevere with the cot. Stop breastfeeding if that’s what’s causing the night feed issue and power through, yes you’ll habe a shit week but needs must.

you certainly can’t leave her in a double alone/

So currently you are leaving her alone in a bed?

If so this is very dangerous, she could sustain a very serious injury, or even worse. She needs to be in a secure place to sleep. When people refer to co-sleeping they are constantly with the baby.

I appreciate we all make mistakes, you need to urgently sort an alternative arrangement.

Just to add OP, don't be tempted to buy a single bed for your DD. Up until approx aged 2-2.5, children don't have the cognitive ability to understand that they need to stay in a bed so sleep training will go much better with her in a cot. I'm happy for you to PM me if you want a chat (I'm a baby sleep consultant).

@Whatsmytea I thought a floor bed was the same size as a normal single as in basically just a mattress?

My DD didn’t like her cot but I don’t like co-sleeping due to SIDs. So I got a travel cot with a drop side on it so I didn’t have to bed over. It was a life saver as she was next to me and had lots of wiggle room.

Just put her in her cot. You’ll have a few difficult nights but she’ll learn quickly that she sleeps there.

Hot water bottle in her cot before you put her in there, only way I can ever shift mine over.

No I'd just work on fixing the situation. Work on putting her down in her cot awake, and let her fall asleep there.

This is why I had double beds in every room in the house when dc were little.

I'd put them to sleep in one bed, then go to sleep in another. When they woke up I'd get up and join them in the bed they were in.

Meant I at least got some sleep.

I used to put those bedside barriers up to stop them rolling off, and they'd sleep in a sleeping bag thingy to stop the duvets being a hazard (I'd pull them off when I left).

Given they didn't go to sleep without me or sleep through the night until they were 4, it saved my sanity.

@Didimum

Exactly, their parenting advice is often dodgy and old fashioned. They are useful for health questions, hence the name

Do you have space to put the double bed mattress on the floor? That way there is no issue with falling out if you are not in the room too?

My son was very similar so he now sleeps on a double mattress on the floor in a fully toddler-proofed room. I sleep in a different bed but having the double makes it easy to pop in and out as needed.

8 months was really tough for us sleep-wise and this arrangement gave us our evenings back. Mine is 22 months now and sleeps through the night :)

Google floor beds for safe sleep advice.

They are definitely not parenting experts. They are infant and young child health specialists. Any parenting advice they offer is very hit and miss, and largely inconsistent across the profession.

Also second hv, our team ran sleep clinics to support parents struggling with sleeping (baby not them 😂)