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Original poster

To think there is never time to relax on weekdays ?

112 replies

LanaL · 21/03/2024 21:37

Is it just me ?

No matter what I do , my evenings from getting in from work to going to bed are just non stop ?? I don’t stop from the minute I walk in until I fall in to bed !

Im a teacher . I leave work around 430 ( I’m a supply that’s the only reason I’m leaving that early lol ) . I get home and have to then vacuum , tidy breakfast bits , do a general daily clean , make lunches for the next day , iron for the next day ( children have drawers instead of wardrobes so I can’t do it all in one go on the weekend ) , do dinner , baths , showers , then it’s bedtime ! My husband gets home about 6 and he helps too so it’s not like I’m having to do it all myself but he works a lot longer hours than me and he works 6 days so I think it’s fair to take a bit more on myself . It doesn’t help that we both do Keto so lunches for work and evening meals aren’t a case of making sandwiches or throwing something in the oven , But even before we did that it was still as manic . I like to be in bed by 9/930 as I’m up at 530. Mornings are just as manic - I put a wash on overnight so I can put it out to dry first thing so it dries during the day and then I take it all off and put it away in the evening - another job . We also have a dog so have to fit in dog walks and we like to go to the gym but I can never find time or energy in the weekdays ! We go on a sat and sun and usually squeeze it in on a Monday too and we like to try to go again in the week - that’s always the plan- once the children are sorted , my eldest can watch them and it’s only 2 min away so realistically even just 40 mins we should be able to do but after Monday we’re usually too tired !

I am not moaning - I make choices to do a certain diet, I choose to go to the gym and I choose to do chores throughout the week so that weekends are relaxing . But even then the weekends are filled with bigger cleaning jobs or DIY , the weekly shop , activities for the kids etc … I usually have a Saturday night where we chill out but that’s it ( however our weekends are always productive and I enjoy them so I wouldn’t change it ! ) .

I count down to the school holidays - but as a supply teacher I’m not salaried so don’t get paid for holidays so therefore have to work a bit in them too ( I do only do 2 days a week in holidays as I need the time and I want to see my children so I’m lucky to have that time off but it’s no different to full time workers having annual leave ) . My poor husband gets no time off really - he’s agency , a good paid job , but agency, he does take some time off so we can do things but having no holidays it’s hard so he tends to feel guilty doing that knowing he loses a good chunk of money by doing it. We’re not poor , but we aren’t rich and we have debt so it’s a luxury for him to be able to take time off .

As I say it’s not a pity post - I’m grateful for everything I have and I have lots that many don’t have ( for a start I have a husband I can’t even imagine doing it all alone )

But am I alone here ? Does anyone else feel like it’s non stop ??

OP posts:
Original poster
LanaL · 22/03/2024 06:39

I started to reply individually but then thought I would just do one post to answer a few things :

I have to iron every day and polish - we have a Labrador and his hair gets everywhere.

I have to iron , the clean clothes are folded and put away but they’re in drawers for the children and I’ve tried before they just don’t stay un creased - they have quite a lot of clothes and so it can be quite a squeeze to get it all in their drawers ( wardrobes are next on the list ) so it would be a waste of time ironing in bulk and I would rather do 10 min daily than spend an hour or so of my weekend ironing. The clothes I iron are not things that don’t need to be ironed , they are clothes that absolutely do and I would never send my children out in , or wear myself, unironed clothes .

Children aren’t toddlers , no. But 2 are too young to make their own lunches without letting my kitchen look like a bomb has gone off . Eldest yes he’s able to watch the youngers safely for an hour but he is autistic so his fine motor skills are affected and he struggles with the practicalities of making sandwiches so again easier if I can do it .He doesn’t have packed lunches It’s mainly my husband and I’d lunches that are the ones that take time - I wouldn’t be getting my children to make our lunches for us even if they could . I certainly don’t want my children having school dinners , they don’t eat it since the supplier changed as they don’t like it and even when they did they came home starving .

Loathe online shopping - prefer to go in and do it and I have to go out to the butchers for meat , eggs and cheese anyway .

Gym - it’s something I want to continue to do together anyway as it’s our time. We do go swimming together too as a family .

Im aware I’ve knocked back every suggestion - but believe me I have thought of all . I wouldn’t be doing it if it wasn’t necessary for my life ( eg I know I don’t have to clean that much and could do it at weekends but I don’t want to . I like having a clean and tidy house ) . I wasn’t asking for advice on how to change things I was just having a rant and wondering if other people’s evenings were the same x

OP posts:
Pepsimaxedout · 22/03/2024 06:39

Agree that a lot of it is choice. I split for my exH last year and couldn't manage everything on my own. So I let things slide. Its amazing how little you notice a lot of this shit when you stop doing it. I stopped ironing school uniforms. Stopped hoovering and cleaning all the time. Food is what can get chucked in the airfryer etc. I now refuse to do any housework or cleaning on a Sunday. It's great.

Zanatdy · 22/03/2024 06:32

I definitely have always had time to sit down for a couple of hours in the evening and I was a single parent most of my children’s childhood. My friend is like you and doesn’t sit down until 9/10pm and I often wonder why. I guess if you want to cook food for a special diet that’s going to take time but I definitely think that someone leaving work at 4.30pm should have some time in the evening. Though perhaps because you go to bed early (I do too) you’re sacrificing that sit down time for sleep.

Why are you both doing temp jobs that could en anytime? Sounds quite risky.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 22/03/2024 06:30

How old are these kids? I have two toddlers and even they can manage tidying (the living room or kitchen, in your case) as part of the bedtime routine. Literally five minutes, everyone mucks in and tidies.

When you cook, make double. That’s tomorrow’s dinner sorted. Repeat the day after next.

unlikelychump · 22/03/2024 06:26

I think you are over doing it too.

Fine if that is your choice but you could easily cut it down.

Ironing every day is a total waste of time for eg. Where are you storing the ironing pile? Just put the ironed stuff there.

Original poster
LanaL · 22/03/2024 06:20

NoAprilFool · 21/03/2024 21:40

Couple of things leap out at me - do you vacuum every day? I’d ditch that.
how old are the children? Old enough to do the tidying up of breakfast bits?
Can you prepare more than one lunch at a time?

Yes I have to do it every day , we have a lab and hair would be everywhere if I didn’t !

Children can’t really do it in the morning , 2 leave the house with me as I take them to childcare and the other leaves before me .

I did actually make some of the children’s lunches in advance this week and it helped !

OP posts:
NewName24 · 21/03/2024 22:27

I have to agree with everyone else.
Why on earth are you vacuuming every day? Confused
Why are you ironing? Confused
Why are you counting 'tidying he breakfast things' as a job?

You hinted that your oldest keeps an eye on other dc when you go out, so we are presumably not talking about a 1 yr old and 3 yr old here, so why aren't they making their own lunches ?

I mean, I get working FT and running a home and bringing up dc is hard work - many of us have been there, done that and got the t-shirt, but this is the time of life to take a long look at what you are doing, that doesn't need doing.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 21/03/2024 21:58

Tidy breakfast bits in the morning

No ironing, fold neatly and it'll be fine

Depending on ages they don't need bath/showers every day

Daily clean? What does this consist of? You don't need to hoover every day

DappledThings · 21/03/2024 21:57

You're cleaning far more than I do.

I do a quick tidy of the lounge and that's it most days.

We alternate bedtimes so I'm usually happily on the sofa with crochet/TV/Duolingo/reading by either about 6.45 or 8.15 depending if it's my right or not. DH cooks and I tidy kitchen but just takes about 4 minutes just before bed

Greeneyegirl · 21/03/2024 21:56

Yeah, this all sounds batshit tbh. You hoover everyday? We hoover once a week at best, more like 10 days. We clean a bit every weekend but our house is lived in and not spotless. We don't iron unless it's a formal occasion. We only have drawers.

Icannoteven · 21/03/2024 21:50

A lot of this is choice.

You don’t need to iron. Nobody needs to iron. Let it go.

You don’t need to hoover or tidy every day - how on earth is there any mess to clean or hoover everyday if you and your husband are at work all day?

Either batch cook, eat leftovers or pick a less time consuming diet. Put your children on school dinners so you don’t have to make lunches for them.

Get your shopping delivered, if possible or do a click and collect and one of you can pick up in your way home.

As for exercise and gym visits, can you alternate going in the mornings before work e.g take turns handling the school runs etc and spending time at the gym. Could your husband go to the gym at lunchtimes? Could you commute by bike instead? Go swimming as a family? Take turns handling the evening stuff at home while one of you goes to an exercise class?

We have two full time working adults, two children, a dog and a cat here and our evening are no where near as manic as your sound 😬

NoAprilFool · 21/03/2024 21:40

Couple of things leap out at me - do you vacuum every day? I’d ditch that.
how old are the children? Old enough to do the tidying up of breakfast bits?
Can you prepare more than one lunch at a time?