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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For feeling left out

38 replies

Lilllypad11 · 21/03/2024 17:25

The company director was offering out tokens of appreciation today as we close for 4 days. Usually in the last 3 years I’ve always received a note on my desk to say “well done and thanks for all your hard work” I’ve always always got one. I keep hold of them in my work drawer as a reminder for the difficult days.

This time, I didn’t get one but my other 2 people in the department did. And so did a few others. I was more upset about this than I realised, I came home crying. I’ve tried my level best lately and I took a few more things on lately too and I’ve been doing my best to get it all right.

One of the other men in the team said he got nothing either but said “you’ve been here longer though so I understand why you’re upset about it”
I don’t know if I’ve offended the director some how or if I’ve done something to someone somewhere, all I remember saying, and the worst thing was “I woke up knackered this morning and though oh eff this when my alarm went off” and I didn’t know he was in the room but we all think that from time to time.

Im super upset. Aibu?

OP posts:
MumbleCushion · 21/03/2024 17:44

What’s the pay like? Is he a good boss? I am trying to imagine a workplace where staff are so motivated by little notes from the boss! It sounds quite nice.

OP i think you are overthinking this. Try not to take it personally. I understand it’s hard though.

ZipZapZoom · 21/03/2024 17:42

Lilllypad11 · 21/03/2024 17:38

Yeah it literally is that. 2 out of 4 got one. The guy is always complaining so I figured that he was sort of not gonna get one anyway. But I alway s do my best to remain neutral at work. I looked around desks and a fair few others got one. I felt quite left out.

2/4 getting one isn't too bad it's hardly singling you out. Seems the bloke can't win here so maybe he should just stop bothering.

GodSavetheJean · 21/03/2024 17:41

If it continues to bother you set up a quick chat. "Robert, you know I save those notes from you every year so I was a bit miffed when I didnt get one. Do we need to discuss anything about my work?" DO NOT CRY to Robert. Keep it light.

Mrsttcno1 · 21/03/2024 17:41

Lilllypad11 · 21/03/2024 17:35

Yeah but I usually always get one along with the rest of the team. So it was odd to me that I didn’t.

Yes, but if everyone got one every time there would be no point in anyone getting one would they?

You’ve had 3.

It’s like kids at school getting star of the week or the “well done” stickers, if everyone gets one every time they lose their value completely.

TheGrimSqueakersFlea · 21/03/2024 17:39

This is like star of the week in primary school. It can't always be your turn

Amba1998 · 21/03/2024 17:39

Well you’re not left out are you as it’s half the team?

Lilllypad11 · 21/03/2024 17:38

ZipZapZoom · 21/03/2024 17:37

So everyone normally gets one? Surely that's not true as your male colleague also hasn't got one? If everyone normally gets one and only a handful haven't then yes that's shit. What's the ratio of those with a note and no note?

Yeah it literally is that. 2 out of 4 got one. The guy is always complaining so I figured that he was sort of not gonna get one anyway. But I alway s do my best to remain neutral at work. I looked around desks and a fair few others got one. I felt quite left out.

OP posts:
ZipZapZoom · 21/03/2024 17:37

Lilllypad11 · 21/03/2024 17:35

Yeah but I usually always get one along with the rest of the team. So it was odd to me that I didn’t.

So everyone normally gets one? Surely that's not true as your male colleague also hasn't got one? If everyone normally gets one and only a handful haven't then yes that's shit. What's the ratio of those with a note and no note?

Lilllypad11 · 21/03/2024 17:35

Mrsttcno1 · 21/03/2024 17:30

I think you’re really overthinking it OP, as the previous poster has said if everybody got one every time then it wouldn’t hold much weight at all. You’ve had it 3 times, it’s somebody else’s turn this time.

Yeah but I usually always get one along with the rest of the team. So it was odd to me that I didn’t.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 21/03/2024 17:30

I think you’re really overthinking it OP, as the previous poster has said if everybody got one every time then it wouldn’t hold much weight at all. You’ve had it 3 times, it’s somebody else’s turn this time.

ZipZapZoom · 21/03/2024 17:29

If it's something that's only given to some people then it makes sense to not give you one after you'd got it for the last 3 years otherwise it's a bit pointless for everyone to get it every time.

Lilllypad11 · 21/03/2024 17:28

ranchdressing · 21/03/2024 17:26

Since you've already had it 3 times maybe they are trying to highlight other people? If everyone got one every year it wouldn't be that special would it?

But 2 in my department got one and it looked like a lot of others did too:( maybe I’ve done something wrong or he doesn’t like me.

OP posts:
ranchdressing · 21/03/2024 17:26

Since you've already had it 3 times maybe they are trying to highlight other people? If everyone got one every year it wouldn't be that special would it?