Menopause is really not that bad.

well, if you ask a bunch of random women about 'menopause' you'll get wildly different answers, for as you've seen, experiences vary quite a lot.

I got mild hot flushes in the second half of every cycle from my early 40s on, and was aware of having a 'good' and a 'not so good' half of the month, which got worse until I felt pretty low about three weeks in four. My moods were all over the place mid-40s. With hindsight, I should have been on a low dose of HRT from about 46. All you can do is note the changes that are happening; if they become troublesome or start to have an impact on your physical or mental wellbeing, you can ask to see a GP.

Need more Lego...
Me neither.
I just am carrying on. I am 57 and have just stopped having periods in the last 6months.

All of this whilst I'm at the highest level of my professional career expected to perform at a level as shown by my age and experience.

Yes, I had quite a major project to manage in my last 4 years of working [ie my reports went to No 10 important]...having to host meetings when all you wanted to do was to stretch out your legs every 2 minutes to crack your ankles, and knees and then cycle them and then stretch them out and crack your ankles and knees...it was torture to be honest. Restless Legs syndrome doesn't come anywhere near trying to explain the pain that you get when you can't stand up and walk round and lunge round the room like a Monty Python sketch. I was so happy when Covid meant all our meetings were done on line and I could do all the above, in the privacy of my own home, with a spreadsheet on the screen.

Hmm "not that bad" for you OP.. let's see how bad its been for me..
Brain Fog- is actually not ruining my career but its making my performance at work a struggle, work level hasn't changed but I have.. HRT is helping but its still not up to levels I need to be
Bleeding, non stop, 9 weeks/4 weeks/6 weeks this has left me aneamic and tired with muscle aches everywhere
Energy levels are at least 40%less than me in my 30s and early 40s. Negative impact on work and home.
Mood swings, feel like a teenager in first flush of adolescence without the accompanying Energy to slam doors..
Insomnia..can often only get 3/4 hours of restorative sleep, but that is interrupted by night sweats, waking up with sweats and the sheets soaked. The bed can still be warm after I've showered and returned to my room. The office is kept at 22degrees but my flushes mean I often have to sit with a small fan blowing on me. All of this whilst I'm at the highest level of my professional career expected to perform at a level as shown by my age and experience.

It's not too bad for you.. that's very lucky, count your blessings but others have it worse than me I know that and my menopause quite frankly is shite. Impacting my life in ways I never thought. It is that bad.

I’m on thyroxine and have been for 25 years. HRT is fine with it.

i don’t appreciate the current medicalization of natural life cycles. What we need is awareness that if women say they are having difficulties, they should be heard. Doctors should take the time, listen to symptoms, rule out serious conditions, and if nothing else explains the issues, talk about the pros and cons of hormonal therapy with the patient

Well, this is a good principle, to a point.
What will actually happen, if things have got so bad that they are affecting your life quite considerably, and you can't overcome being worried that it's just possible that a serious condition may be somewhere in the background, is more likely to be this.

You will first be told to lose weight, stop drinking any alcohol, and stop having coffee and tea.
If things don't pick up, the first line treatment is for anxiety, depression as a side order. You'll be given antidepressants, and perhaps, if indicated, the coil.
A lot of the time, these won't do very much for menopause, but they may cause weight gain, libido destruction, and sweating (as well as whatever else you went to talk about, which likely includes the 3 side effects anyway).
So you'll be told to exercise and lose weight...
If you can stay the course of this rolling around a few times, then you can pass go for actual peri or menopause, but they'll think you a pain in the ass for the lack of progress on the antidepressants.

Don’t think there’s any “one size fits all” menopause. I had no hot flushes, just felt a bit warm occasionally. Thought I’d been so lucky until the vaginal atrophy which caused endless urine infections, horrible aching pains and the need to wee every ten minutes. Really suffered. Now on estriol HRT cream which has been like a miracle x

I was pretty ignorant about it until it hit me at 52, vaginal atrophy was my biggest problem, so bloody painful. I will need estrogen for life or else it will just come back, I call it my WD40 🤣

I lost my libido completely, even though I still found my husband sexy I just didn’t want sexy time. Bring on the testosterone, within 2 weeks a switch had flicked on, bloody brilliant. My energy is better and my poor hubby can’t keep up, I’m banished to the spare bed some nights so he can sleep, my G.P finds it hilarious. I have now reduced the testosterone a little to control my rampant libido, honestly it’s all I thought about 😝

To Horsesarebetterthanhumans please see another doctor as you are in peri-menopause and yes you can use hrt. That doctor you saw must have no idea what he is talking about. There is help available so pls seek another doctor as hrt stopped my memory loss which got quite bad, hot flushes, tingles and pains in bones, so many other things, it can take a while to get the right dose but when you do it makes such a difference. Do not suffer in silence.
This question is just to try to rile us women up. Probably a man asking.

That's fine. Many of us were on our knees by the time they gave us HRT, it wasn't 'tossed our way'. I had to provide a years worth of Fitbit data to get mine.

If you don't need it fine, but your disgusting attitude is part of the problem.

Dealing with it now. It’s been a walk in the park compared to other life stages.

i don’t appreciate the current medicalization of natural life cycles. What we need is awareness that if women say they are having difficulties, they should be heard. Doctors should take the time, listen to symptoms, rule out serious conditions, and if nothing else explains the issues, talk about the pros and cons of hormonal therapy with the patient. We shouldn’t be on an assembly line to HRT for everything that ails us any more than we should have birth control pills tossed our way for every problem in our 20s.

Perimenopause decided to start rather conveniently after my 3rd baby was born in 2020, and coupled with horrendous post natal depression, I think the past 3 years have gone pretty horribly health-wise.

Oh, and given that I had a head injury and post concussion syndrome in 2015, then got injured by an off label antipsychotic prescribed after (which gave me a neurological involuntary movement disorder called tardive dyskinesia that is a bit like Tourette's and Parkinson's disease combined, where parts of me like my mouth and tongue have involuntary movements), life is peachy...!

Tinnitus, gingivitis, awful brain fog and empty headed feelings, hideous sore tongue and burning mouth, horrendous mood swings and anxiety... yep, i love being a woman and being me. I am so not looking forward to 30 more years of this shit.

Yes I have had a positive attitude and practice gratitude etc but it doesn't take away any of thr brokenness of my brain and body that is slowly falling apart. As a PP said, life has definitely been better before this stage 😒😫💔

You seem determined to misread my statements.

Being able bodied does not mean you are happy, and being disabled does not mean you are unhappy.

I'm not talking about being fit or winning medals, I'm talking about having a happy healthy life with a body you inhabit, move, and enjoy.

But you reap what you sow.

@shamrockshake peoples bodies do decline as you age,. If you exercise and are lucky you may still be fit, but you can never be as fit as a younger person can. Put bluntly, it is not 50 year olds winning olympic medals and setting world records.

@shamrockshake I don't even want to think about getting past 50!!

Well, that is your perspective, I guess. I don't view marriage or children as exciting moments. People in their seventies and beyond can be healthy and active and very happy. You might find now is a good time to look into that. Lots of books and online info on the topic of ageing well are out there now.

@shamrockshake But in reality at 43 I am beyond my "best before" date! Life is just going to be about carrying on working until I'm at least 70 and getting older and less well. The "exciting" moments in life - getting married, having children etc - they've already been and gone.

If you mean your best years as a backup dancer wearing gold hotpants, that is possibly correct - but I would say your best years are really ahead of you. That is provided you work on your attitude and take care of your health.

43 is ridiculously young to write yourself off as old and past it and about to break down.

I'm 43 and the thing I'm struggling with is the acceptance that my best years are well and truly behind me. Life is only going to go downhill from hereonin in reality.

From British Thyroid Foundation, seems I was wrong.

Declining oestrogen levels may affect the thyroxine dose requiredYour thyroxine dose requirements may change during your menopause transition. This can relate to changing oestrogen levels and other factors, such as changes in your weight. It is usual for you to have a yearly blood test to check your thyroid levels, which will show if you need a change in your treatment dose.
Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)HRT is currently the most effective treatment for menopause symptoms. Therefore, it is recommended as a first-line treatment for such symptoms if you need treatment support.
Women with no pre-existing thyroid disorder and normal thyroid function usually adapt well to the effects of the HRT, and their thyroid function remains normal.
Thyroid replacement is not a contraindication to HRT. Women with pre-existing hypothyroidism may require an increase in their thyroxine dose after starting oral combined HRT because oral oestrogen changes the amount of thyroxine bound to proteins in your blood and can result in less free thyroid hormone that is available to do its job. Therefore it is helpful for thyroid function tests to be re-checked after starting tablet-combined HRT.
When oestrogen is given through the skin by gel, spray or patch, the dose of thyroxine should not be affected. Progesterone in HRT is not expected to significantly impact thyroid replacement doses.

I am 60 and I can honestly say that apart from a few hot flushes,I never had any problems going through the menopause. To be honest,I don't really know when my menopause started or finished! I had a Mirena IUS from when I was 35 right up until I was 54 (mainly for heavy, painful periods rather than for contraception) and I hadn't had a period for 12 years, between the ages of 42 and 54. So I'm not really aware of when they stopped because of the menopause. I do realise that I am quite unusual in that I had no problems and for that I am really grateful. I have every sympathy for women who do suffer numerous problems.