To be in this job and feel poor?

Thanks. Yes I love the south east, been here 23yrs but I’ve been split from my ex 13yrs now and made a commitment to stay local so kids could see their dad and not be up and down the motorways if I moved back north (where my family are and old school friends). So it’s been a long time coming and I’m only now in a position to buy but it doesn’t feel worth buying a flat for 2yrs and not when I’d be paying 50% of my salary for that. Plus service charges - some are £250 a month!! It’s madness for a small flat.
I’d have to get a second job and I’ve got a long term painful health condition and a very busy stressful day job. DD starts 6th form in Sep and then I can feel like I’m on a proper count down. It’s depressing spending so much on rent £1350) but it means I can still save a few hundred per month towards the house.

I know I’m in a better position than many but like OP I feel like I’ve worked really hard, and it feels like I’m so far behind everyone else my age. It’s been weighing on my mind a lot lately. Money isn’t everything though and I have a lot of nice friends and my kids are amazing, perfect teens. Life could be much worse and one day soon I’ll be proud as punch to have bought my own place with zero help. Just a bit later than most!!

Objectively OP you are not poor, but I understand your feel poor, because you invested in education and assumed you would see a good Return on Investment. In fact you do have an above average salary. But obviously you can point to people who did shorter periods of study and now earn more. But would you want/be suited to those careers? Maybe yes, maybe no. You don’t mention hating your chosen career path, just resenting the lack of money that it now pays. Job satisfaction has a lot of value, and ultimately you may see some of your well-paid peers become jaded with their well-paid jobs, whereas perhaps you are less likely to if you’ve followed a passion not a pay cheque?

Returning to why you feel poor… as pp have mentioned this is a lot about your perception of “where you should be” in your mid 30s. In reality living as a single person is extremely expensive. Owning property as a single person is tough. I didn’t attempt to purchase property until I had a partner I planned to marry; prior to that I/we rented rooms in shared houses. Then in our first house we let our spare room for a few years. I didn’t resent any of that one little bit - it was a plan that seemed prudent and sensible and allowed us to ride out that difficult period as we were establishing ourselves financially. Nearly all my single friends purchased one bedroom apartments, so you have set your sights quite high.
You ARE building equity, albeit that is costing more than you expected. And you feel poor because cash is tight and you didn’t expect to be trimming your lifestyle after making it through a long period of study when you were indeed poor.

I get that it’s disappointing but you can shift your approach and make some different choices (eg take a lodger) and come out winning.

For those people suggesting a lodger, is this something you have tried personally and is it plain sailing? I agree with the op that it's a shame after so much effort and hard work that trying to make ends meet is so very hard. I do empathise.

7 years ? A doctor ?

Can you relocate to a cheaper area?

Can a potential employer assist with removal costs?

But the general point about life being more expensive when you are single does stand.

The assumption that there are two people paying the bills makes everything much more expensive for single people

I am similar. I have a high salary, but am the only adult in my household and I have two children one at Uni. Interest rates and inflation mean that I am struggling in a way I didn't a few years ago. The OP needs to see if there are any savings she can make. Also, my observations is that people on low incomes are really not surviving at all at present - just going into debt. And, if the OP is a doctor, things will improve and she will get a pension. I remember meeting a very experienced barister on a large salary and she said that - as a single woman - she has always lived a student lifestyle. Then she got to retirement age and realised that she actually had some money (from putting money into a pension)

4-5k a month on 58k? I’m on 63k and my take home pay is £3500, or thereabouts. No student loans, all paid off years ago, but I do pay around £380 a month pension contribution (set amount, I don’t over pay). So OP will be on nowhere near 4-5k a month. When someone gives a salary it’s always gross, and the higher over 50k you are, the more tax you’re paying

@Zanatdy lots of lovely homes up North for 250k. It sounds like you have a good plan. I have lived in London (Putney and Barnes so not sure that counts as London). I’m a northerner. I work in healthcare and IMO the underbelly of society is pretty much the same in the middle wherever you live.

Sorry didn't realise you have 2 kids. Of course your option is the only option available for millions of people in your position. So nothing new. Good luck.

Please do a budget OP, I like the MSE excel download.

I earn 55k, with a £1200 mortgage, single and with student loans (plan 1). I save about £600 pcm, not including pension. This isn't to brag, and I'm lucky to not have any other debt, but just wanted to give you some optimism that it can work

I understand, I earn similar but my mortgage is less than half that (because I’m older and bought when properties were relatively cheaper), I don’t have a student loan and I don’t have any car repayments at the moment, so already I’m at least £1000 better off a month than you probably are. I don’t think people realise how much more expensive living on your own is too, broadband costs the same as for a household, gas and electric probably aren’t much less as you’re still heating a house or cooking a meal, you only get a third off council tax etc.

I assume that you are a doctor, hence the large long uni fees. In which case do you not want to move up in the profession, in future years.

Surely you should recognise that living in a house you own, by yourself, in your mid thirties is a massive achievement.

Get a cheaper car.

Your mortgage is about a third, slightly more of your take home pay, what are you spending everything else on?

Will your salary increase in the future?

I can borrow 280k max so with my 40k deposit I can buy for 325 absolute max, but that is 50% of my take home pay, and would buy me a 2bed flat. At the moment I’m sleeping on the sofa bed when DS2 is home from Uni as I’m renting a 2 bed flat. I want a place big enough for my 3 kids to stay (youngest 16 so all be adults soon). If I go back north I’m going to be able to buy for much less than 325 and get a house not a flat.

It would change it if it is was a loan for a post graduate study or masters. That wouldn’t be an income dependent loan.

@fedippp my mortgage company is offering mortgages to the date of predicted retirement. Why not extend current deal to 35 years or so, and build up a cushion?

Probably the 7 years of studying. Guessing it was might have been something like medicine or laws

can you not get 5x your salary? That would be around £330K so can get a property in London or are you looking for a house? And maybe your childcare outgoings disadvantage you when it comes to affordability calculator. Sorry to hear.

I think doctor

I think a SENIOR public sector solicitor. Or senior solicitor in the region.

I earn 63k and can’t even afford a property until I can move out of the south east in 2yrs when youngest DD goes to Uni. I’m 47 and it’s pretty depressing I’ll be paying a mortgage until retirement. It’s hard on your own, I earn a good wage and I’ve been on benefits as I was a teen mum so I’ve seen both sides and it’s frustrating when you work hard and don’t see much for it

Do you have to own your own house Op?

It can be very hard to do as a single person.

Western european society sells us the idea that we should be owning a house. once we are over 30.

In a lot of other countries, people rent for their whole lives

I bought a house in my mid thirties by myself, and it wasnt the right move for me.

Owning a house was crippling me.

I decided to sell the house.

I moved back into shared rented accommodation, and I feel much better off financially and I also feel much happier

Owning a house wasn't for me

Sorry this message was wrong

You know, I want to sympathise with anyone who says they are struggling but this seems like such a high salary compared to mortgage. Would you do a breakdown of your outgoings please?

Are you an Architect?