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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be in this job and feel poor?

563 replies

fedippp · 20/03/2024 14:22

I trained for seven years, reasonably large student loan etc, to end up age 35 on 58k, and barely anything left at the end of the month!!! Mortgage is 1300 for a 2 bed semi, (up from 800 last year). Student loans are still hundreds a month. I have a car on finance as I couldn’t save house deposit and car deposit, need car for work. I eat beans on toast 3 nights a week. I feel like an idiot. I missed out on so much in my twenties to get into a decent job that I thought paid well and it seems to have been a waste of time! Does anyone else feel this way? I feel so disheartened.

OP posts:
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Twylitette · 21/03/2024 19:34

I hear you OP, i'm in a similar situation and if it wasnt for DPs wage, I couldnt manage the bills myself. I dont think renting instead is a good solution as round here renting the shittiest little houses in the nearby shitty town works out more expensive than our mortgage payments. I have a car on finance but its a very ordinary car and 10yrs old.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 21/03/2024 19:34

I mean... you could have not bothered with uni, gone on a zero hours contract and still be living at home.

Gratitude, my friend.

Hollbeach · 21/03/2024 19:24

I think things are hard at the moment and everything is going up so much.
I would be interested to see your budget in detail. Do you sit down every month and look at what you are spending?
For example, I literally write down our income, write down all the set outgoings like bills, rent etc and see what I'm left with.
This is my 'spare money' and I actually go a step further and write down what we spend that on just to hold us accountable.

We were in debt quite badly at the beginning of moving in together and I'm super strict on us now.
If you are paying a bank loan and car finance this is obviously a massive factor. Once this is paid off you will hopefully have more spare cash but it can be a struggle for a while.

456pickupsticks · 21/03/2024 19:08

fedippp · 20/03/2024 14:48

No wages unlikely to increase much now. Yes I live alone. I resent the fact that I should have to consider a lodger just to get by. It feels pointless having worked so much for so many years. My student loans are HUGE

if you're in the uk and have the usual student loans, it doesn't matter how big they are, you pay the same % of anything you earn over the minimum. Definitely shouldn't be crippling as thousands of people will be in the same situation (eg 90% of your uni cohort).
Google tells me "On a £58,000 salary, your take home pay will be £43,443.40 after tax and National Insurance. This equates to £3,620.28 per month and £835.45 per week." and "Plan 1 graduates repay 9% of everything they earn over £22,015"
If you're not in the UK, look at your plan and see what makes sense, it may be that funnelling all your savings into it reduces the interest so much that it's worth it, or it may be that it isn't.

This means you should still have over £3000 take home per month to live on. £1300 for a mortgage, plus say a £500 pension contribution, and £500 in bills per month would still give you £700 to play with spare.
I'd suggest you have a look at your other outgoing and do some budgeting around what to cut down on. Immediate thoughts are the direct debit type stuff which can easily add up - How many music services do you subscribe to? What about streaming? What insurances do you have? How much money are you putting into savings? Do you have a many memberships (gym, costco, national trust etc)? How much are you paying for gas, electric, internet, tv packages, etc? What about your phone contract? These are all things you could look at switching to cheaper plans or cancelling altogether. I'm not saying you've got to get rid of anything that brings you joy, but a £20 gym membership is probably similar to a £50 one, a £10 sim only contract in your old phone does the same as a £90 top end phone contract.

You've taken the car payment now, so you're stuck with it, but if possible try and keep it after you've paid it off, but keep putting the payment money into a savings account, so that when it comes time that you need a new car, there's a pot of money for you to use. Same with any uncancellable subscriptions - aim to cancel or switch to cheaper as soon as possible, using physical produces as long as possible, but keep putting the money aside so you can have it when needed. If you don't pay a set amount for electric and gas, try to keep putting the same amount of money aside during summer so the increase in winter doesn't hit as hard as there's money aside for it.

Also look at where you spend small amounts of money often - yes it's cliche, but a £4 coffee on the way to work every day adds up, and if it's the difference between beans on toast three days a week and a variety of meals I know what I'd choose! Or a meal deal three days a week is £10.50. We were having this discussion at work recently, with one colleague saying she's committed to bringing food from home for the next month, as her average office day spend was about £8, not a great deal occasionally, but it's £24 a week, which if her partner was doing the same meant it was a nice weekend meal out they were missing out on buying sandwiches and coffee. I love monzo for this, as it will add it all up for you.

trekking1 · 21/03/2024 18:25

You are broke because of your own choices, op. Not trying to be shady, just speaking facts. Living alone in your own 2 bed property in your 30s is a privilege and you are paying for that privilege. Most people either choose a smaller property or to rent in order to have more money for other things and obviously some do not even get a choice as they can't afford it. You made your choices and you have to live with them...

housethatbuiltme · 21/03/2024 18:17

fedippp · 20/03/2024 14:22

I trained for seven years, reasonably large student loan etc, to end up age 35 on 58k, and barely anything left at the end of the month!!! Mortgage is 1300 for a 2 bed semi, (up from 800 last year). Student loans are still hundreds a month. I have a car on finance as I couldn’t save house deposit and car deposit, need car for work. I eat beans on toast 3 nights a week. I feel like an idiot. I missed out on so much in my twenties to get into a decent job that I thought paid well and it seems to have been a waste of time! Does anyone else feel this way? I feel so disheartened.

Ok lets compare you to the people where I grew up in a dying nothern pit town.

Shit and rough public school most barely got GCSEs
No money to move anywhere, no transport to travel, no local higher education
Parents in unowned council house, no transport, minimum wage jobs (no inheritance)
Little to no jobs except basic minimum wage or free ones (waitress, shop worker, fast food cook, bar staff in WMC, volunteer for charity etc...)
Most of us have been homeless at some point

You on the other hand got an education, got to go away to university, got a well paid job which afforded you the ability to purchase your own house (security and inheritance to pass down to your children to secure their future too), you got a car and (not even a £400 23 year old banger and car nice enough to be on finance) and you can pay for shopping and bills to cook that food so you don't have to go days without eating.

I would say your pretty privileged. If your stressed with work load that I would understand (I get being resentful for working through youth instead of living it) but to be stressed that you make more than entire working multigeneration families and all thats afforded you is all the things we don't have here just seems so out of touch with reality.

Supernova1908 · 21/03/2024 17:26

I’m not sure where people are getting the £3,300-£3,600 take home pay from. I earn 66k and after tax and pension deductions I come
away with £3,600 per month. Presumably the OP is paying pension contributions too.
One thing I did when I earned less (at the time I was on around £42k) was to take a pension break and allow me to get back on my feet a bit more with monthly bills etc. It’s not ideal and I wouldn’t recommend it for a significant length of time though. (Paid half contributions).

Supernova1908 · 21/03/2024 17:22

InterestedinEfteling · 20/03/2024 15:18

Hand it back then. Don't be pedantic.

You can. We sold our last car that was on finance. You just pay the car finance off with the proceeds.

Threetimesthreeequals · 21/03/2024 17:10

fedippp · 20/03/2024 14:26

@Peekaboobo struggling to make ends meet and will definitely have to sell my home if interest rate goes any higher. It feels horrendously stressful!

the base rate will not go higher. Inflation is coming down, swaps are coming down. Unless you slip into arrears it’s unlikely you’ll be on a higher rate than you are when rates fall. May it’s likely BBR will go down he 25bps

Boohooxxxxxxxx · 21/03/2024 16:47

Oh poor poor you.

Altogether I get 1700 a month after tax, 1000 of that goes on rent. Do you want to swap?? I'd happily swap!!

MonsterasEverywhere · 21/03/2024 16:16

It sounds like you need to have a look at your budgets. Maybe look at doing a Statement of Affairs, there's a good one on the Stoozing finance website. It will help you look at what you are spending each month and also make you think about little things which add up. When it's all down in front of you, it may make it easier to see where your money goes.

There are lots of websites with forums which you can find advice on, including food budgeting advice.

Devon23 · 21/03/2024 16:04

Your right you poor thing - can't buy health or real friends. The real stinger will come when you realise money isn't the way to happiness.

Vonesk · 21/03/2024 16:04

I cant give advice,
I did not go UNI.
But my income is £1900 per month
I currently only spend money on FOOD And housing costs.
United Kingdom is ¥¥¢¢√•§§¢$$ £## place to live.
Everyone is skewered.
I would like to work but am suffering from long term effects of poisoning from botched dental preceedure which has caused heart damage and fatigue , otherwise I was up at SIX am most days working Twelve hour shifts in mental health unit.

Shallana · 21/03/2024 15:37

Harry12345 · 21/03/2024 15:26

My electricity and gas alone are £300 then council tax £180

But you're not the OP? OP is single and living in a two bed semi. Logically her gas and electric and council tax should be less than mine (2 people in 3 bed detached). We pay £160 per month inc electric car charging and £139 tax.

midgetastic · 21/03/2024 15:36

Your gas and electric usage looks to be above average ? And it should be below for one person in a small house ?

Zzey · 21/03/2024 15:33

Wow I'd love to be on that! How do you think I survive on 15k a year?!

Harry12345 · 21/03/2024 15:26

Shallana · 20/03/2024 14:56

OP have you done a budget? E.g.

Take Home approx £3200
Mortgage: £1200
Bills: £300
Food shop: £250
Car: £400 finance, £60 insurance, £20 MOT & servicing, £150 fuel = £650
Other bills/subscriptions - netflix £11, spotify £10, phone £35, gym, £35

Based on the above averages, you should be left with at least £700 per month spending/saving money? Even if your expenses are a few hundred more you should have a fair amount left at the end of the month?

How much are you spending on the car?

My electricity and gas alone are £300 then council tax £180

fedippp · 21/03/2024 13:57

I have student loans then professional bank loan (standard thing for this work). in total I’m paying back almost 600 a month.

OP posts:
Katemax82 · 21/03/2024 11:03

My husband is on 67k and we are bloody skint too so yanbu

Chatonette · 21/03/2024 10:21

Ginmonkeyagain · 21/03/2024 08:47

The mistake people often make is thinking that once they have a decent income that covers the major bills it means they don't still have to be careful with money generally.

We have a household income of around £90k. We are very fortunate and comfortable in the fact we do not need to worry about paying the regular bills and can save for big items/emergencies. However we still have to be careful with spending on things like food and leisure and take the time to ensure we are on the best deals for things like utilities.

Edited

This. I’m not happy to disclose my household income, but I budget everything. All purchases are tracked and I have a budget for each category of spending. Just because you have a comfortable income, it doesn’t mean you don’t need a budget! In my opinion, everyone needs a plan: Where Will My Money Be Going This Month.

The easiest way to waste £10,000 in a year is to spend £27.40/day on unnecessary items.

Bjorkdidit · 21/03/2024 10:03

And it's especially expensive to live alone in a 2 bed semi. Even in modern times that would be expected to house a at least two people.

The OP could feel a lot better off if she either shared or lived in a one bed flat - bills would likely be less too.

Ginmonkeyagain · 21/03/2024 09:59

@Bellyblueboy agreed - it is very expensive to live alone - which is one of the reasons I flat shared until I moved in with Mr Monkey in my early 30s.

FrizzledFrazzle · 21/03/2024 09:32

I'm guessing the OP is an AHP like a physio or psychologist or OT. NHS banding means that once you hit the top of band there are no more pay increases unless you go for a promotion. And once you are 8a or 8b (which is about 55k) there's not that far to go - positions are few and far between.

The big issue though is being a single income household. Two people sharing the cost of the car, mortgage etc would be much more comfortable than one person alone.

Bellyblueboy · 21/03/2024 08:58

Ginmonkeyagain · 21/03/2024 08:47

The mistake people often make is thinking that once they have a decent income that covers the major bills it means they don't still have to be careful with money generally.

We have a household income of around £90k. We are very fortunate and comfortable in the fact we do not need to worry about paying the regular bills and can save for big items/emergencies. However we still have to be careful with spending on things like food and leisure and take the time to ensure we are on the best deals for things like utilities.

Edited

As well if this is the income for two people your take home will be a lot higher than if a single adult household was earning £90k.

I think a lot of OP’s frustration stems from being a one income household. I often look at my mortgage or gas bill and think of people who get to automatically half it😂.

it’s also higher stress when it’s all on you - no second income to fall back on if something goes wrong.

my own fault for being useless at relationships!

Calmdown14 · 21/03/2024 08:51

That also seems a particularly big mortgage jump (assuming your initial figure was correct).

Are you in a new fixed deal? You've not been punted into SVR?