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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be in this job and feel poor?

563 replies

fedippp · 20/03/2024 14:22

I trained for seven years, reasonably large student loan etc, to end up age 35 on 58k, and barely anything left at the end of the month!!! Mortgage is 1300 for a 2 bed semi, (up from 800 last year). Student loans are still hundreds a month. I have a car on finance as I couldn’t save house deposit and car deposit, need car for work. I eat beans on toast 3 nights a week. I feel like an idiot. I missed out on so much in my twenties to get into a decent job that I thought paid well and it seems to have been a waste of time! Does anyone else feel this way? I feel so disheartened.

OP posts:
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Okeydokedeva · 22/03/2024 08:25

Your gas an electric is crazy. We have a four bed and are in all day and it’s £150 pcm. Find a switch on money supermarket or compare the market ( good free days out and cinema ticket deals on these websites if you switch through them)

I am really sorry to hear how tough it’s all adding up. I do understand that you studied hard, paid some crazy stupid fees and now also have double the interest to pay on your home. It’s shit.

many years ago I moved out of the flat I owned into shared accommodation for four years in a similar circumstance. It was annoying but it did take the pressure off. I do know many people crippled by the new mortgage rates. Hang in there. It will get better. See if you can yourself a new role if you can x

gettingbackonit23 · 22/03/2024 08:17

Are you a solicitor OP?

Sasqwatch · 22/03/2024 08:17

Peekaboobo · 20/03/2024 14:23

YABU your life sounds great! Whats the problem exactly?

🙄🙄🙄

MikeRafone · 22/03/2024 08:14

fedippp · 20/03/2024 14:26

@Peekaboobo struggling to make ends meet and will definitely have to sell my home if interest rate goes any higher. It feels horrendously stressful!

What length is your mortgage term and what equity balance to loan do you have?

Could you lengthen your loan period for now?
Can you take in a lodger to assist with the bills and this is tax free money under £7000 per year?
How long do you have on the car finance? having a lease car might be better as newer car, more reliable and same type of repayments - you can also get 3 year old else cars, which will be cheaper.

TBH I have worked with people that have completed 3 years at uni and are doing the same job as myself for the same pay and I don't have a degree - I'm not sure why the debt was worth while, they were not using the job as a stepping stone either. It seems education for educations sake at a cost of £45k

Tiredalwaystired · 22/03/2024 08:12

People are saying the OP should lower expectations yet my parents had all this on one decent wage, with my dad leaving school with no qualifications; just using his skills and taking the opportunities. I’m not talking mega rich. I’m talking lower middle class.

It’s sad that so many feel it’s blindingly obvious that this sort of life is only for those on six figure salaries.

When did we start thinking that’s “just how it is”?

Fight for better. Don’t accept it.

Zanatdy · 22/03/2024 08:11

newusern99 · 22/03/2024 07:47

It’s less than that take home if you have a decent pension.

Agree. I earn 63k and don’t take home £3600 and I’m not repaying student loan. My take home is £3500 after pension deduction (nearly £400 a month)

Sharptonguedwoman · 22/03/2024 08:11

fedippp · 20/03/2024 14:48

No wages unlikely to increase much now. Yes I live alone. I resent the fact that I should have to consider a lodger just to get by. It feels pointless having worked so much for so many years. My student loans are HUGE

All sympathy. I think part of the problem is that gross salaries look good but net ones are far lower. Re the car, I'd hesitate to change it. A friend once said 'Buy a new car spend £100 pm paying for it, buy an old car, spend £100 pm mending it'. It was 30 + years ago and the sums have changed but the principle remains. We drive old cars with crossed fingers.

Zanatdy · 22/03/2024 08:09

LeedsMum87 · 22/03/2024 07:46

Do you fall into a higher tax bracket, thinking this might be where your take home salary is being brought down. I can’t say from experience because I’m not on that much but I’ve heard you can avoid this by upping your pension contribution.
sounds like you’re a single person so it is tough on one income even though £58k is a lot of money! We’re a family of three and take home £4000 a month, live in a 3 bed terrace with one car but struggle with nothing left over for holidays and new clothes etc. I feel your pain.

You can but this will take her take home pay now even lower. Yes better long term but when you need the money now it’s tough to put 8k a year into pension to avoid being taxed 40% on anything you earn over 50k

SprainedBum · 22/03/2024 08:06

It doesn't seem to be your earnings that are the problem, its the amount you are paying back - mortgage, car finance, £600 a month bank loan - any credit card debt? I'm not surprised you're struggling. Can you find a way to bring your repayments down

THisbackwithavengeance · 22/03/2024 07:58

YABU.

You earn a very good salary in a professional job, you own a home, run a nice car and are repaying debts. You should be congratulating yourself.

But if you are genuinely unable to afford anything other than beans on toast, then you are not budgeting correctly and need to have a look at your spends. Are you buying 2 Starbucks a day for example? That's £10 already.

But your situation is not unusual. I was a single, professionally employed in London in the late 90s and did bar work on the side for extra cash. Other professionals I knew house shared and certainly didn't own a car.

You have to manage your expectations and ignore what people say they have on social media.

PinkyFlamingo · 22/03/2024 07:53

fedippp · 20/03/2024 14:48

No wages unlikely to increase much now. Yes I live alone. I resent the fact that I should have to consider a lodger just to get by. It feels pointless having worked so much for so many years. My student loans are HUGE

So what would you have seen as a better alternative? I dont get your reasoning. If you hadn't trained and got to your wage you would be earning less and even worse off surely?

newusern99 · 22/03/2024 07:47

456pickupsticks · 21/03/2024 19:08

if you're in the uk and have the usual student loans, it doesn't matter how big they are, you pay the same % of anything you earn over the minimum. Definitely shouldn't be crippling as thousands of people will be in the same situation (eg 90% of your uni cohort).
Google tells me "On a £58,000 salary, your take home pay will be £43,443.40 after tax and National Insurance. This equates to £3,620.28 per month and £835.45 per week." and "Plan 1 graduates repay 9% of everything they earn over £22,015"
If you're not in the UK, look at your plan and see what makes sense, it may be that funnelling all your savings into it reduces the interest so much that it's worth it, or it may be that it isn't.

This means you should still have over £3000 take home per month to live on. £1300 for a mortgage, plus say a £500 pension contribution, and £500 in bills per month would still give you £700 to play with spare.
I'd suggest you have a look at your other outgoing and do some budgeting around what to cut down on. Immediate thoughts are the direct debit type stuff which can easily add up - How many music services do you subscribe to? What about streaming? What insurances do you have? How much money are you putting into savings? Do you have a many memberships (gym, costco, national trust etc)? How much are you paying for gas, electric, internet, tv packages, etc? What about your phone contract? These are all things you could look at switching to cheaper plans or cancelling altogether. I'm not saying you've got to get rid of anything that brings you joy, but a £20 gym membership is probably similar to a £50 one, a £10 sim only contract in your old phone does the same as a £90 top end phone contract.

You've taken the car payment now, so you're stuck with it, but if possible try and keep it after you've paid it off, but keep putting the payment money into a savings account, so that when it comes time that you need a new car, there's a pot of money for you to use. Same with any uncancellable subscriptions - aim to cancel or switch to cheaper as soon as possible, using physical produces as long as possible, but keep putting the money aside so you can have it when needed. If you don't pay a set amount for electric and gas, try to keep putting the same amount of money aside during summer so the increase in winter doesn't hit as hard as there's money aside for it.

Also look at where you spend small amounts of money often - yes it's cliche, but a £4 coffee on the way to work every day adds up, and if it's the difference between beans on toast three days a week and a variety of meals I know what I'd choose! Or a meal deal three days a week is £10.50. We were having this discussion at work recently, with one colleague saying she's committed to bringing food from home for the next month, as her average office day spend was about £8, not a great deal occasionally, but it's £24 a week, which if her partner was doing the same meant it was a nice weekend meal out they were missing out on buying sandwiches and coffee. I love monzo for this, as it will add it all up for you.

It’s less than that take home if you have a decent pension.

LeedsMum87 · 22/03/2024 07:46

Do you fall into a higher tax bracket, thinking this might be where your take home salary is being brought down. I can’t say from experience because I’m not on that much but I’ve heard you can avoid this by upping your pension contribution.
sounds like you’re a single person so it is tough on one income even though £58k is a lot of money! We’re a family of three and take home £4000 a month, live in a 3 bed terrace with one car but struggle with nothing left over for holidays and new clothes etc. I feel your pain.

Delawear · 22/03/2024 07:38

Vistada · 22/03/2024 07:11

I hate to break it to you, but the actual problem here is not that you're poor.

its that you can't manage money.

You've bought property alone and also manage to run a car - you're doing fine. You just need to learn to budget.

First thing I'd do is get rid of the car finance, buy a cheap runaround outright.

If the above is something you don't want to do its not a question of poverty, its a question of living beyond your means.

Next I'd seriously look at getting a lodger.

If you're 35 I'm assuming you're on plan 1 loan? C.250-270 pm? Yes that's considerable - and it's fucking awful. I'm guessing you van only have 3-5 years left on it?

It may just be a question of belt tightening until then, but it won't be forever.

Edited

And this is a sensible set of suggestions for now.

Delawear · 22/03/2024 07:37

DahliaRose3 · 22/03/2024 01:08

Some posters are so incredibly rude and bitter, and it makes me so angry! Imagine being in the top 9% and still having not much to show for it. The OP is allowed to be upset by this.

Times are really tough for most people. That’s the reality of it. It’s not a race to the bottom. I can sympathise OP, things are so expensive and money feels like it doesn’t go far at all.

Downsize to a 1 bed if you can, or partner up with a friend or lover to split bills. Could you look at moving jobs, contracting, or doing some side work?

Absolutely.

People reading this should direct their anger at the government, who have massively mismanaged the economy, leading to these kinds of scenarios. It’s sad.

Water456B0ttles · 22/03/2024 07:30

What kind of car do you drive & how much does it cost per month ?

The last 10 years, I have bought old bangers out right for less than 1k or 2k & driven lots of miles

If you had more spare money, what would you spend it on ?

RosesAndHellebores · 22/03/2024 07:17

@WardrobesAreFull of course they do once they are established. DH was commercial and very niche but was mid 30s before the big bucks started rolling in.

The op could be focusing on criminal law, largely legal aid work, outside London.

I still think the op's a junior doctor and was hoping for pages of "how outrageous" but it didn't go their way.

WardrobesAreFull · 22/03/2024 07:13

RosesAndHellebores · 22/03/2024 07:07

I wonder if the op is a barrister. When DH finished his pupillage he was so sk8nt in the early years he thought about switching careers. At 29 he was in a shared house, owned two pairs of shoes and both had holes. He only gave it two more years because he met me and I was able to make living comfortable.

He barely had two ha'pennies to rub together until he was about 3/4 years post pupillage. He had no parental backing to see him through the early years.

At 35 he would have been in a similar position to the op. By 40, things were very very different.

But the OP says she hasn’t much scope to make more money so I don’t think it can be that.

I know a couple of well-established barristers and they quite clearly earn much, much more than the OP (not that we discuss salaries of course but it’s just obvious!)

Vistada · 22/03/2024 07:11

I hate to break it to you, but the actual problem here is not that you're poor.

its that you can't manage money.

You've bought property alone and also manage to run a car - you're doing fine. You just need to learn to budget.

First thing I'd do is get rid of the car finance, buy a cheap runaround outright.

If the above is something you don't want to do its not a question of poverty, its a question of living beyond your means.

Next I'd seriously look at getting a lodger.

If you're 35 I'm assuming you're on plan 1 loan? C.250-270 pm? Yes that's considerable - and it's fucking awful. I'm guessing you van only have 3-5 years left on it?

It may just be a question of belt tightening until then, but it won't be forever.

RosesAndHellebores · 22/03/2024 07:07

I wonder if the op is a barrister. When DH finished his pupillage he was so sk8nt in the early years he thought about switching careers. At 29 he was in a shared house, owned two pairs of shoes and both had holes. He only gave it two more years because he met me and I was able to make living comfortable.

He barely had two ha'pennies to rub together until he was about 3/4 years post pupillage. He had no parental backing to see him through the early years.

At 35 he would have been in a similar position to the op. By 40, things were very very different.

IDontHateRainbows · 22/03/2024 06:50

I'm guessing OP is a vet. I know someone who is a vet , in London, on only 40k a year. This is someone fully qualified and full time, albeit relatively early in their career.

Wastedagreatusername · 22/03/2024 06:50

Yes it sucks OP. Successive governments have really fucked this country over. I’m fucking sick of how crap things are..

What I am most sick of are posters on MN who seem to think full time working HH are unreasonable for expecting to do more than ‘just about getting by’ and that we should be grateful for just that.

No wonder governments have got away with fucking us all over with voters like that!

Cat14123 · 22/03/2024 06:46

fedippp · 20/03/2024 14:48

No wages unlikely to increase much now. Yes I live alone. I resent the fact that I should have to consider a lodger just to get by. It feels pointless having worked so much for so many years. My student loans are HUGE

Student loans are hard but in the UK only 10% - I’m on a similar wage to you and my
student loans are not the crippling factor, it’s less than a few hundred a month. Pension takes a big chunk but I need that for the future. Im Wondering why your student loans are so big? Is it credit cards etc?

I get why moneys a struggle, a 50k income isn’t what it sounds considering outgoings, we can’t afford luxuries like holidays abroad etc.

I am not a single parent but without my partners Income too, it would be impossible. We are okay money wise but not living the life of luxury I was hoping for after working so har for the better wage!

Direstraightsagain · 22/03/2024 06:14

YANBU. You are saying if you knew what you know now you wouldn’t have taken on the debt, are uncomfortable with the level of debt and expected to have some disposable income to at least afford a car.
I think that is reasonable.
However, you have achieved the profession you desired. You are a homeowner. You have a salary that gives you scope to save a little each month or do a loan overpayment. So you can also count your blessings and move forward knowing your position is still an achievement. Be kind to yourself, don’t compare yourself to others and enjoy the work you do while having a think about work life balance and personal growth.

WardrobesAreFull · 22/03/2024 06:13

What is your job? I’m not sure the salary really justifies that much study, sadly, especially if it means you’re now crippled by student loans 😞

It’s a shame that becoming an expert in something and gaining qualifications etc doesn’t always pay off.

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