To be in this job and feel poor?

No one's saying its right. Its not. OPs salary should afford her comfort, I'm same age as her and its what we were brought up to believe, strive for a salary north of 50k and you've made it.

But, facts are facts and right now due to various government ineptitudes and world events, as well as artificially low credit giving a false impression of affordability for too long, and now that party ending - money doesn't go nearly as far as it did.

OP needs to cut her cloth accordingly.

She is struggling to cut her cloth because she cannot budget.

To say she is poor is disingenuous, and thats what is getting peoples backs up.

I think the OP has normal student loans as well as a bank loan for postgrad studies which is why I asked if she was a lawyer because I had to take out a professional studies loan for my postgrad law course and the repayments were brutal. So she has that coming out of her account, as well as the normal student loan and then her car finance and a big mortgage. I can understand that she is feeling squeezed. I earn a little bit less but have repaid my student loan, have no car finance and my mortgage is still around 900 as I fixed before the rates went crazy. I don't feel particularly wealthy though. I have a partner but we don't live together so no financial help.

OP if you don't want a lodger, how about airbnb-ing your spare room? That way, whoever you host won't be there for long and you can block out days. Alternatively, maybe a Monday-Friday lodger.

OK but that's the thing, one earner on £58k with student loan repayment will take home £3,390.28 ignoring pension contributions. If they have children they'll also have to pay back 80% of any child benefit they get, although that will change in April.

Two earners on £29k (not saying that's what you and your husband earn, I don't know) will take home £3,986 because of the way tax brackets and student loan payments work and also will get to keep 100% of Child Benefit.

So in that scenario the couple are taking home £596 more a month plus keeping Child Benefit if they get it. That would make a big difference to disposable income.

Single earners get shafted pretty badly, her best bet is to have someone move in with her, lodgers or a friend or whatever.

I do think a 2 bed semi was a bit much for a starter home, to live alone.

But maybe as others have said a lodger or short term airbnb, for the room so its less permanent.

It actually is around that! Admittedly I do have a husband though so the cost is not entirely down to me but still failing to see how the OP struggles so much on £58k with just herself to pay for.

Honestly OP, it sounds like you were having a bit of a pity party. We all do it, but there comes a time when you have to pull your boots back on and get on with it.

Your energy bills are massive for your property and solo living. I used to have similarly high bills when I lived alone and, mostly, it's because I was wasteful with it. I started to focus on when and where energy was being used and started to be stricter with myself and they dropped by more than 50%. Look at that - especially with summer coming.

Look at better energy deals and don't be afriad to swap. e.g. if you are not with Octopus now you can switch and get a free £50 for doing so, by using someone's referral link (e.g mine: https://share.octopus.energy/glad-seal-912)

Take a realistic look at your car finance. It's nice to have a nice car but it is even nicer to have an OK car that is already paid for. Look at whether or not you are over paying for something shiny and new(er) rather than considering a car that's a few years old and will be much cheaper for you.

I've paid student loans back at a similar rate to you. It's hard while you do it, but it does tend to mean they are paid back sooner - look at when yours might be ready to end. It might give you some light at the end of the tunnel and suddenly, it's like a £££ pay rise when you no longer have to pay it.

Let go of any expectation of a certain lifestyle you might have had. For many of us, this expectation was forged during a different time when credit was cheap and people used it to fund more luxurious lifestyles than are possible now inflation has chipped away at money value and debt costs. It's just the time we are all living in. It may change again before we all go.

I know you don’t want to get a lodger but at least that’s an option for you. You could look at other ways of letting it out like long stay Airbnb or theatre digs. is owning a 2 bed house worth all the scrimping and saving? Do you have a partner you might live with eventually?

I would second a lodger if you would be comfortable with that. That sounds expensive for mortgage I take it your in a area of high prices. You could extend your term if possible to make month to month better but overpay when you can?

Guessing your mortgage is not £1,300 otherwise I can't see how the sums add up

It is hard when you feel under money pressure. Getting a lodger is not a failing, it's a sensible action to ease finances at this point - and you don't have to do it forever. Try it for a while and see if the balance works for you.

Plus this is not it forever. It's not unusual for you to have a couple of years of real money struggling. I am just coming out the other side of my own and am nearly a decade older than you but feel very future positive now.

Go on the job boards here to see if there is something you can do with your job role that pays better or has more progression. My new lease of financial life has come from leaving the charity sector for corporate and a 20% pay rise plus an excellent work life balance. I really didn't believe it was possible for me but they need my skills.

It's ok to feel down and upset about it but also start putting that energy into looking for the changes that will help you. Aibu is not the right board for that as people enjoy sticking the boot in but I think other boards will help you look more widely.

I feel you. My wife and I have a combined income over £200k pre tax and we are still having to cut back massively on anything you might consider a luxury.

you either accept the way it is or change something.

we have sold our new car and got a 10 year old discovery paid outright.

may sell house and go somewhere cheaper.

pushing hard for pay increase at work

you should be more comfortable but the world has happened

roll with the punches

I am the same age, on the same money and have 2 kids in childcare and still manage a couple of holidays a year and regular nice days out.

How do you struggle so much?

There’s a old saying

”Comparison is the thief of joy”

I think that is very wise. A decade or more of very cheap credit has made us all think our salaries go further than they actually do. The OP unfortunately has loaded herself up with a lot of debt obligations just as that party ended.

Having read your answers @fedippp , it seems to me the real source of your unhappiness is that you think your friends are in a better situation than you, despite them not going to uni for most of their 20s.
I'd suggest you need to stop comparing yourself to others. As lots of People in this thread have pointed out, to others, you seem to be the lucky one. You have a 2 bed house, a good wage, a car. There are probably aspects of your life they aspire to.
The sensible thing to do here is focus on what you do have - job security, pension, a house, a car, money to actually pay your bills. Then I'd look to see where your budget can change. Are you over spending on food? Can you change your car to get a cheaper one? Can you change your job for a better wage?
And learn from your 'mistakes'. Taking on a mortgage and expensive car loan on top of your educational loans may have been a stretch too far. Next tome you're making a purchase for a larger item, work out if you really need it, if there's a cheaper way, if you can save 1st and so on.
But mostly, stop allowing comparison to tarnish your achievements.

£240 a month on gas and electric when you barely have the heating on is crazy! I'm in a 3 bed house and with heating on more than that am spending less than £5 a day.

Are you on a smart meter? The first thing I did when exH moved out was get a smart meter and work out what was costing me so much. All light bulbs changed to low energy made a surprising difference.

Are you on a fixed rate mortgage? When is it due to end? I've maxed the repayment term on mine (I'm 50 so this isn't ideal) to make monthly repayments more affordable.

You can't reduce your tax bracket by pension contributions.
I think what maybe frustrating is if you're in a job that's potentially very high paying but you are on a lower salary to others even if your salary is actually quite high.

Try being a single income household on 21k with rent eating up nearly half your income and no hope of ever saving up enough to buy or to go to uni. Then come back and complain to me about being poor.

I hold my hands up I didnt RTFT, OP also has a bank loan on top of student loans.

a 50% increase in mortgage along with this would keel over anyones finances.

However, OP, I am similar age and salary to you, I have a similar mortgage (before your increase) - i have to say that whilst it would be far from ideal at ALL, i would be find the money without absoutely skinting myself, and I wouldn't be reduced to eating beans on toast 3 times a week.

Something is fundamentally wrong with your budgeting. (I get it, I was shit at budgeting for the longest time because I simply never had to)

I had lodgers for years on and off and am
getting another one soon (paid off mortgage) as I won’t have work from end of next week. I also didn’t have a car for a few years as I couldn’t afford one.

I earn far less than you and do have income coming in from rentals but this is all saved and reinvested and is family owned (DM and DB and me).

Agree with pp a fixed term mortgage is much better. My SIL eg has an interest only mortgage which I don’t personally understand the point of but it does get paid.

See a mortgage advisor, it sounds like you are on a variable rate. A fixed term will help you to budget and avoid unexpected hikes.

with regards to your income, you are at the point where indirect taxes start to take a bigger chunk. Depending on your industry, salary rises do tend to be bigger after so you can climb quickly.

with regards to your 20’s, that is in the past and you probably missed a lot of hangovers. With a good job and a house your future is more certain than it would be if you had partied in your 20s.

Fiscal drag is a bitch. I find it fascinating that many of the middle class have been drawn in to worrying about additional rate and Inheritance tax that many almost certainly will never pay, but blithly ignore the imapct of fiscal drag on their take home pay.

This thread is making me realise how much the higher tax bracket makes a difference to take home pay. I'm on around the 50k mark and unable to progress much more, I take home apx 3k a month (after pension deduction of apx 5%)

Shocked at those in the mid 60k range saying they don't take home much more.

Agree its shit for the OP but it is for everyone. Salaries flatlining whilst house prices have soared is the fundamental issue.

Oh and being single is hard, but so is having dependents in a couple. The OP has no dependents costs to worry about.

There is so much unrealistic advice on this thread. Upping and moving house costs money, upping and moving job is not easy the more specialised you are, getting a second job when in a professional job is unlikely most jobs at £58k involve huge amounts of unpaid overtime. Many public sector and public sector adjacent jobs have salary bands and promotion doesn’t just happen, likewise their are often relatively high pension contributions. £58k is not the equivalent of 2 x £26k (seriously have people not heard of individual tax allowances!) Sorry you’ve had to deal with wading through lots of it, OP.

i would agree that sensible advice is to

• draw up a budget,
• use price comparison sites for your energy and insurances to reduce costs,
• seriously consider taking a lodger in the short term.

The latter may not be as bad as you think - my sister has lodgers and has really loved, most of hers have been medics, teachers, lawyers at the start of their careers and many of them have been from overseas so she now has some great recipes and cheap holidays visiting their families!

But most of all, based on your follow up, I think job stress is also a big factor in how you are feeling. Quite how to deal with that I don’t know but it might be helpful to see if your employer has any services for staff.

Good luck!

Are you on student loan repayment plan 1 or 2? If it's 1 then you earn nearly £3.5k a month after tax, national insurance and student loan. How much is the car? Could you get rid of the finance plan and buy a cheap second hand car? Long term, could you find a house in a cheaper area so the mortgage is lower?