To be in this job and feel poor?

I agree with this and @ElatedBiscuit and @potato57
The standard of living has deteriorated in the last nearly 20 years and particularly since the GFC. Younger generations do undoubtedly have things harder in general compared to their parents.
There does tend to be a huge lack of empathy on these sort of threads. Posters spot a well above average salary and just can't help making unfair and sometimes cruel comments based on false comparisons with their own situation, when their outgoings/ age, etc make their situation very different.
I really sympathise @fedippp. You have worked very hard, done exactly what you were asked to do and are still counting pennies. Of course it doesn't seem fair.

Yes

I'm sorry that you're struggling financially.

It's great that you've managed to buy your own house. It's unfortunate that your mortgage payments have increased so significantly, but hopefully that's just a temporary thing, and rates will start to come down again. I don't think you should downsize. Sounds like you're managing the mortgage payments ok, albeit you don't have much disposable income. As time goes by and your salary increases (in line with inflation), your mortgage payments will be lower in comparison to your salary. Also, in the early years, you're paying a lot off the interest. As time goes by, the interest will be less and so raised interest rates won't have the same impact.

How long will you be paying back the student loans? Are we talking months or years? Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

Paying hundreds a month to lease a car isn't ideal. I'd be looking to change that a.s.a.p. Even if it meant taking in a lodger for a year or two to fund a decent, second hand car. Not a brand new, top of the range car but also not a rust bucket - something that will last a few years without incurring high maintenance costs. Are you locked into a contract with the lease company? If so, I'd be looking to have a plan in place to buy your own (second hand) car, by the time the contract expires.

There's only one income coming into your household, so all expenditure has to come out of one salary. That might change if you meet someone and can share the household costs. But of course, if you end up having children, you'll have to take on childcare costs or else sacrifice the second salary. Swings and roundabouts..........

Previous posters have suggested a second job or working overtime. But if you've spent seven years training, I'm guessing you have a medical qualification? Which means you're probably working very long hours already. So probably not an option.

Without access to a detailed breakdown of your expenditure, it's not possible to say if there's any room for leeway. The usual things suggested are shopping at a cheaper supermarket, switching your utility suppliers frequently to avail of new customer offers, cancelling Netflix/Sky/Amazon subscriptions etc.

But perhaps you're not looking for advice? Just frustrated that your salary doesn't give you the lifestyle you expected at your age and given your qualification(s)? Which is fair enough.

I was on a similar salary until recently and totally get what you're saying. It is so expensive being single and we never get any help or even acknowledgement from govt or society - just get forgotten about or, on here, dismissed as having nothing to worry about and our lives aren't as shit as others.

Well, no, maybe they aren't, but it would be nice to have acknowledgement, sometimes that we exist have worries too.

I ended up having to do freelance work on my days off (I work a 9 day fortnight plus had weekends) just to get enough money to pay the mortgage on my modest 2 bed semi - no I'm not in the SE, but I am in an area of the country where public transport is practically non-existent and so need a car. It was exhausting and I went for a whole year with no time off at all as I worked all bank holidays for the overtime (and because it was expected as I don't have children) and only took annual leave to do freelance work.

I'm out of that life now - earning nearly double and life is a bit easier. These days I only do freelance for extra cash and actually have time off.

BUt other single people are still in the hell of having to do everything, be responsible for everything on one salary and no benefits and the worry that if they lose their job, then that's it - financial ruin.

I'm not surprised you're fed up. Did you do medicine by any chance? My daughter is first year at uni and I see this as her future. I wonder if she will reconsider, despite her love of it and the arduous journey to get her place due to the bleak outlook in that career and how much she has, and will continue to sacrifice to pursue this career. If she switches she will give us less, work less hard and be richer.

Living standards in this country have plummeted, wage growth is stagnant but basic costs have more than doubled, its depressing.

no, you're not being unreasonable. I'm the highest earner out of my siblings, and I also feel i have nothing to show for it. I don't regret my career choice but reality is money does not go as far as it used to.

my current flat is dirt cheap, it's also very small and when I've looked at moving it terrifies me. the flat i used to live in (which skinted me at the time) has had a 50% rent increase since i moved out.

a lot of people will say youre doing something you love! and yes, i am but I'd like to be rewarded for it. I also hate the idea that you should forego any luxury to have a home. god forbid you enjoy the life you've worked for!

all that to say that no, you didn't make a mistake spending your 20s training. hopefully it will bring you a long, enjoyable, comfortable career but it's okay to want, and believe you deserve, something nice. your salary SHOULD be a lot of money, the cost of everything being extortionate means it definitely doesn't feel that way.

"Yes 7 years of education should give you a better standard of living in a rich country like the UK than it currently does."

Yes, this is the entire point of the thread.

"Do you need a new car on finance? I have a cheap second hand car, I paid upfront as it wasn't expensive. Works fine for me."

Yes it works until the clutch dies or something like that and you have a £1,000 bill. As happened to me last year.

"I think the problems happen when you feel entitled to a brand new car, expensive holidays etc"

I don't think she mentioned holidays at all?

"I'm also confused by your budget in general as I earn less than you do and I can afford holidays without difficulty"

I'd look at housing cost - is your mortgage £1,300-1,500?

I voted YABU.

I have three degrees and earn less than you do. I feel very privileged to have had a good education and to have found a career that I enjoy. Yes I could be earning more if I'd made different choices but I like working for the public sector - it doesn't pay well but I feel like I'm making a difference.

I think you would be much happier if you can stop comparing yourself to other people and learn to enjoy what you have. Yes 7 years of education should give you a better standard of living in a rich country like the UK than it currently does. But life isn't fair and so many people are so much worse off than you are. You own your own house, you have a good education and a career.

I know a lot of people have said this, but I don't understand why your gas and electricity bills are so high. My gas and electric bills are way lower than yours and I did put the heating on over winter. Do you have a smart meter and are you sure there's no mistake?

Do you need a new car on finance? I have a cheap second hand car, I paid upfront as it wasn't expensive. Works fine for me.

I think the problems happen when you feel entitled to a brand new car, expensive holidays etc, because you've worked hard and are highly qualified. Try looking at life a different way. What do you actually need to be happy, and can you be satisfied with less.

I'm also confused by your budget in general as I earn less than you do and I can afford holidays without difficulty. I feel like if you try putting together a budget you might find you can improve your lifestyle on your current earnings.

YES THIS!!!

I think there are lots of people of a certain age who just don't get it. They don't understand that people our age went through an economic recession in our formative years that's deeply ingrained in us desperately craving financial security. And every time we get a step forward (I remember in 2008 when 300+ people were applying for one basic entry level job and thankfully we don't live in those times anymore), the rug gets pulled again and the goal posts get moved.

My family lost our home in the last recession. I work 90 hour weeks now to stay afloat and I panic about money constantly even though I have savings. I don't trust any financial institutions or any government and likely never will.

I'm extremely tired of being dictated to by people who bought houses cheap in a one income family and paid them off years ago who now go on five cruises a year and complain their heating bills have gone up and the government isn't subsiding them enough. 1 in 4 pensioners today has assets/net worth of over a million pounds.

And it's still never good enough for them, they worked so hard to put their 50 shillings into the system in 1976 and they've somehow worked it out to wanting to be paid 50k a year tax-free today.

And their advice to younger people is to do all the things they'd never dream of doing themselves, since they won't even consider downsizing their 4 or 5 bed home that they live in alone, they'd prefer to complain about their "suffering" instead.

I think OP is frustrated as they have worked hard to get where they and in their eyes haven't got a lot to show for it or feel they're struggling, which in reality they're probably not compared to many others.

OP, it might help us understand more if we have a detailed list of your monthly outgoings. That way, we can fully understand where your money is going and some will appreciated more why you're not happy. Also, if you really are struggling MN is great for giving advice on how things could be made easier for you.

These threads usually prompt people to make comments about how that salary will put you in a certain percentage of earners. But people making the real big money are typically not on PAYE and their salaries arent necessarily reflected in national statistics about median income etc. There is also lots of legal and non-legal tax evasion going on. Plus the erosion in QOL through salary suppression over the last 10 years combined with inflation has been huge.

OP is not being unreasonable to feel this way. Rather than saying 'be grateful' we should be getting angry that the typical professional job with decent career progression can still leave you feeling stretched.

Absolutely this!

I think this race to the bottom/gratitude narrative is all well and good and yes, we should all be grateful for what we have, but I think the point the OP is making is that she’s worked hard, sacrificed and ‘done everything right’ in order to have a comfortable professional career and the expected lifestyle that affords and still doesn’t have it. I understand that resentment, I feel it too.

The Tory narrative is working well.
Expect the minimum, don't hope for better and give anyone a kicking who expects more.

One of my kids is in this trap, slogged her guts out at school and uni when others partied, she chose unpaid/low paid internships to get experience. Saddled with debt, massive commuting costs, stuck in a bloody awful house share and depressed, her friends who put in less effort are better off, have met partners even had kids, stayed in our low cost area. They earn less, work less hours yet have such better lives. They would say she's got loads of money, compared to them.
She has quit and moved home for a while to get her health together and regroup.
You don't put in all that effort and expect to account for every penny.

God I had to actual create an account, I can’t believe the lack of compassion.

Glad to see you got a bit more sympathy towards then end though.

I feel in the same boat, like I never have enough money. Although I have a partner, so can only imagine how stretched you feel. I am always in my overdraft by the end of the month etc.

The “helpful” solutions are sort of missing the point a bit, you should be able to live comfortably. People on much less should be able to live comfortably as well! I hate the way this turns into a them and us situation.

We live in a developed country, there is enough money to go around for everyone. Its sad how companies are allowed to exploit, it should be criminal to have profits like they do for essential services whilst forcing people into hardship :(

You’re doing really well x

Yeah but how much does your DH earn? I can’t see any remote comparison where you are part of a dual earner couple and are on 58k. Your household income is likely to be far higher than the OPs. Also, while you have childcare, all other outgoings will be split so not comparable.

If OP earns 3,300 net and has let’s say:
500 increased mortgage payment from normal
350 car finance
350 bank loan repayments

Thats loads in extra payments/debts! I’d be struggling too. My outgoings and that is with hardly any socialising, buying clothes, or whatever and no loans or car finance and a modest food and petrol budget comes to at least 1,800 per month. About half of that is mortgage and then council tax, internet, gas, electric, water, car insurance, home insurance and mobile phone. If my outgoings suddenly were increased by the above, I’d basically just have enough to cover basics. No money left for savings or holidays.

There's been a huge surge of threads like these and they are always full of people saying "cut your cloth and stop moaning". Yes, OP has a decent salary which she has worked hard for. She's not on the poverty line and can afford a mortgage etc. but that's almost slightly beside the point. She shouldn't have to sit down and budget to the penny (although budgeting is always a good idea). I feel like our entire generation has been let down so badly. At late 30s, it's absolutely reasonable to have a mortgage on a small semi, nice car and few fancy things at that salary. She shouldn't have to watch what she buys at the supermarket, just like a couple earning 25K each should not have to visit a food bank (a couple I know). My parents emigrated and as immigrants, were able to buy a house - yes, we were poor at the start, but by the time I was in my teens our situation improved massively and we lived very well as a family of 5 on two reasonably low incomes. That's completely unattainable now. The bickering between people in this (often roughly similar) income bracket just feels like it is distracting us from the core issues contributing to everyone's poor financial situations.

Are you an architect, OP?
I have a close friend in this position and she's moving into construction (contractor-side architecture) as it pays so much better.

We have the highest tax burden in 70 years. All sorts of people are paying 40% tax who never used to be in that bracket. Child benefit has been stripped of many too. Labour and the Tory are very very high spending huge state parties so the voters have no choice either over this. Trained for 7 years probably means law, medicine, dentistry, architecture. if that is so then in those professions there is a lot of scope to earn huge amounts more in due course. I set up on my own as a lawyer and that worked well. My doctor sibling earns a fair bit and does a lot of court work as well as patients (as did my father - also a doctor and he lectured too and had private patients)

If you tell us the profession or career we might be able to help you earn extra money within it with some ideas. Sometimes you need to move to. My twins are 10 years younger than you are and qualified as solicitors earlier this year in London. Sometimes the location determines the pay. Good luck.

yes, I also have 2 kids in childcare which the OP doesn’t.

When I commented I was making a comparison to my own salary, not my household income.

I also think it can be overwhelming and very stressful when you are the sole wager. If the shit hits the fan and you have a partner you can make decisions together and have emotional support as well.

Janch13 · Today 10:00

It actually is around that! Admittedly I do have a husband though so the cost is not entirely down to me

🙄

Did you see that her mortgage has just gone up by £500 per month?