To hate workplace collections?

This thread reminds me of friends when Ross moves into the new building and is asked to put in $100 for the maintenance man who is leaving 😂.

Further to resentment of low wage/ status staff being browbeaten into whip rounds. It is also galling to see the office and senior staff having gatherings/ drinks/snacks, whilst the lower level staff are forbidden from attending (as they HAVE TO work).

@fitzwilliamdarcy it really did.

@drspouse I have unfortunately also seen a case in my workplace where a woman adopted a child and no collection was done. It stood out because such a fuss is made over babies, and I felt terrible for the mum because although she was far too polite to say anything, it must've felt so invalidating.

I completely sympathise.
When I started in my current job, 20 years ago, I was one of a tiny number of women at my level. 8 years later I went on leave to adopt my son and there were still very few women at my level - lots of female admin staff - and every time one of the admin staff retired, went on leave, was sick etc. there were loads of collections but we never got a single card.

A junior colleague in my role had a baby around the same time and she did get a collection (perhaps birth children count more?).

They annoy me as well, especially when you know that some people who never contribute to others collections or put a bit of loose change in every now and then will get a collection done for them. Also annoys me when we get asked to contribute for a Christmas present for the cleaner, said cleaner has a better car than me and goes on several holidays every year (I don't) so is obviously ok for money, maybe their partner is a high earner and they don't need to earn much but its implied that we should get her a present just for doing her job when we don't get one for doing ours.

That is awful poor mum of twins .

Sounds dreadful to me, and tantamount to bullying.

Feel for you and can empathise @LOTR
Where I work most people are in similar ‘teams/roles’ but I work slightly differently but all working together in providing a service, if that makes sense.
I’m more senior to a lot, more junior than a few SLT. I believe anyone slightly senior should lead by example so contribute to all collections, celebrations etc whether I like/work closely with the colleague or not. They tend to do lots for big birthdays etc
My 50th, nothing. Not even a single card.

They did know as (despite being shy and uncomfortable bringing it up) I’d let them know a while before. Problem is I’m solo in my specialty so no ‘team’ to organise it, and no one though about it (1 apology received afterwards).

I’d like to stop contributing to other’s collections, but it would feel spiteful (against how I believe we should work) ….

Like secret Santa, but naughty and illicit gifts for people you like. Nasty and offensive gifts for those you don't.

I don't mind collections (we put 3-5e) but I do get annoyed with inconsistency. We have generally accepted to give gifts leaving, 50th, retirement. But then some get something for other big birthdays, some get for weddings, some get for babies. Today was an email to donate to a baby but we didn't collect anything to a colleague that had twins 6 months ago. It is dependent on your popularity I guess.

One of my old schools I taught in used to have a staff association, and everyone who belonged to it would pay in a sum of £10-20, and then this would be divided in a fair way for gifts.

There staff turnover was fairly low, and so any money left over from one year rolled over into the next. Anyone who worked there for 1 year and left would receive gift to the value of £30. I can’t remember the increments beyond that, but if someone had worked there for many years or were SLT, then they would receive a gift at a set price - I’m sure it was £100 or £150.

Gifts were also given for maternity leave and flowers sent home if a staff member experienced a bereavement. It was a wonderful school, and I only left as I was on a one year maternity cover contract 😔.

Last year we had a mass exit package with approximately 30 staff leaving in a 3 month period. I knew it would end up bring a shit show with those going first and the big characters getting fabulous collections and a big send off and things dwindling to fuck all for the quiet leavers who were going towards the end. Obviously people would get giving fatigue and ran out of money - usually averaged fiver a head per donation in normal circs - totally unsustainable with so many leaving. A couple of us suggested the social club organise a mass collection of £10 per month over three months and everyone going would get flowers, chocs and gift card of same value with presentations at team meetings/last day as they left. This would mean no-one missed out and the remaining staff wouldn’t be constantly harassed for fivers for 3 months.

One mean spirited bastard on the social committee decided there were “some people she did not wish to contribute to” and that hit the scheme on the head.

Result - first leaver (well known, social type job) had red carpet send off with prosecco, florist bouquet and £150 gift card. Two months later a 32 year veteran who worked in the very secluded finance room went she got a fiver bunch of flowers and box of sweets. It was awful.

This happened to me. I left on a voluntary early exit package. 15 years in the organisation (250 people) and 23 years in the parent organisation. Took my team (of 5) out for lunch the week before I left. I got a £30 M&S gift card and a, to be fair, thoughtful gift related to my hobby worth £20. Presented in a conference room with about 12 people present. I’m aware I sound grabby but it just did seem a bit paltry considering my length of service, and I must have given hundreds if not thousands to various collections over the years.

Hi

Years ago we were having at least 2 collections a month as various people from different departments came around. It could have been more collections as I was out of the office for at least half a day most days
I always refused felt uncomfortable - it was later agreed that an email for collections would be sent around with depts mangers agreement and people could decide if to contactact the collector or not

YANBU

At my school we had a present fund. One teacher kindly organised the collecting & buying the presents. When the fund was low we were all asked to put £10 in. It seemed to get low quite often, & the organiser told me some people never paid. (One was the Headteacher - she didn't name names, we all knew he never paid). That really annoyed me as the people who didn't pay still got gifts.

I had been on sick leave for 3 weeks when I got married. The term before the supply teacher who had been there 2 terms got married - she got flowers, a voucher & a card signed by all of the staff. I was most looking forward to my card with everyone's messages. We had a new Head by then, & I saw his email to everyone - 'school will send Goofygoldie flowers but you can send your own cards.'
After 22 years of paying into the present fund that did upset me a bit. Although it was more lack of effort than what was spent.

Agree. Multiple people I work with have 3 kids and so in the time I've been there I've seen a bunch of people get 4 massive collections whereas the people who've not married or had kids during that time have contributed but had nowt. One of my colleagues has 5 kids, so she's had 6 collections!

We don't do birthdays or leavers (because we already do far too many collections as it is) so some people will go their entire career there and receive nothing.

It's one of the shitty parts of work, sadly.

I was in my last job for 20 years. Five years in, I was in an office with six other people whose administrator made a big thing out of organising birthday gifts, leaving presents, you name it. I contributed to all of them. I moved offices (same job just we moved out of that building) the day before my birthday and I got nothing from those people. At that, I stopped contributing to any collections at all unless it was for someone I was friendly with.

Ooh what kind of presents do you get for secret Satan? Sounds like a lot of fun! 👹

See for me I think this really depends on the workplace & the team. As an example my team at work are all really close and friendly with each other and typically we all put £10 in for big occasions like wedding, baby, retirement etc, but we don’t do collections for birthdays although we do get a cake/sweets or something in the office for that day. Because we’re all pretty close and we all do get along nobody minds putting money in as it’s one of those where if we didn’t put money in together we would all be spending say £10 on a gift for the person anyway. Putting our money together means that the person gets a lovely gift for maybe £150 rather than 15 £10 boxes of chocs/flowers etc, so it works for us! But I can see where if you are part of a huge team and don’t really speak to each other very much you wouldn’t want to put in!

I also think the bank transfers are a much better idea, personally I almost never carry cash anymore so if asked for a few £ in the office would have to say no!

I hate all this my son is going on a luxury holiday to a far flung place which you will never, ever be able to afford to go to.
Can you sponsor him so he can get this holiday for free?
Errr no, piss off.

Ha ha yes years ago when dh had lost his job and we were skint, I was asked to contribute to a collection for the managers wife who had had an extremely minor procedure done.
When my father died, I received nothing.
It sucks. It really does.

same for me! These collections for charities to fund their bike run, Kilimangiaro trip, marathon in Paris. If you want to do it, fund it yourself, it’s your donation to the charity. If you can’t afford it go and run in the countryside. If I want to do a charity donation I would do it to the charity I choose not the one you have decided. The gut to go and ask colleagues in the office in person so they can’t say no it’s shameless. Luckily now it is on line so I just ignore. I remember as a graduate I worked on a open plan office with around 70-80 people, only the director had their office. Every week and sometimes twice a week someone would do the run and everybody had to contribute £5-£10. I always put £5 and then once I saw that the managing director had put £1!!!! They would also jot down the amount in front of you so you view! This is something I have only seen in the UK.

When these cards went round to sign in envelopes, no one would ever know if you did or didn't contribute. New trend in our office, probably because of hybrid working: pay by bank transfer! With one person collecting. I guess you could just "forget" but it's quite a blunt thing! To be fair, also because of hybrid working they seem to be dying out a but in our place overall.

Thats is like bullying. Im Not usually one of the everything has to be fair people but this is awful. So hurtful.

When we announced I was leaving I then sent an email round saying it’s been great working with you etc etc and please no need for drinks, card or any fuss but pls do stay in touch.

more people could do that?