to think 5 months maternity is fine and they can deal with it?

Also, not sure why more women dont champion their partners taking shared leave/extended pat leave. It's quite a key element of bringing down the patriarchy 😀

I did 6 months with both of mine and was ready to get back to work as I was bored. I did have excellent sleepers though and they were bottle fed by that point. Breastfeeding and a non sleeper could be an entirely different ballgame. I am the main earner so DH took leave until about 11 months when they went to nursery.

Like you, I am a high earner with a flexible job who does not need to be chained to my desk (Mumsnet finds this hard to comprehend) so I was 'around' and didn't feel like I was being separated from the baby at such an early stage BUT I was absolutely not the main carer whilst also working at the same time. There was never any moment when I couldn't be working when I needed to be as DH was responding to the baby's needs.

I am also in a cut throat industry and knew that my role could technically be changed if I was away for longer than that so I understand that. 1 year of mat leave in not the norm in many areas of Europe (though they have infinitely better nurseries than us!).

The going back to work at five months is fine but I’m not sure how your plan would work with a baby that crawls at 7 months and walks at 10 months.

I don’t think you are mad going back after 5 months - when I worked in corporate finance one high powered mum worked up until labour and then went back in two weeks.

but no you are kidding yourself if you think you can work from home while looking after a 6-12 month baby. They are stronger - start moving - I was walking at 9 months, so was my hubby and my son - they will not fit in with your deadlines

It sounds like you don't have much experience of babies yet. They don't just sleep and feed.
Look at getting proper childcare like a nanny or childminder who can give babies the care and attention they need.

Most UK people take 9-12 months and have this automatic attitude of "OMG I could never!!" to anyone who takes less.

It's their hangup not yours. 5 months is long compared to how long they get in the US.

This sounds great you have childcare covered and can still be around to BF as and when need to. If you get to 5 months and want more time off then keep the door open to speak with your employer about extending your time off. youll know what’s right for you and your family when the time comes and it’s sounds like DH and DM are very supportive :) x

She has childcare - her mum and her dh.

I went back after 6 months with ds2 and it was completely fine. Dh took 6 months parental leave and was a SAHD during that period.

I went back to work after 6 months with my first 2 and 12 weeks with my third. DH did his half of the parenting until they went to nursery from 12 months. I worked outside the home for a lot of it (pre covid so hybrid/wfh wasn’t a thing).

Babies grew up well adjusted, I BF all of them until 2+, no dramas!

Do what is right for you and own your choices

5 months mat leave fine

No childcare whilst working not fine. Why is baby only booked at in for 12 months? Just book baby in at 5 months.

Girl you do you! If you're happy go back after 5 months. Your set up sounds amazing enjoy every moment xxx

I had my children when 6 months was the norm for maternity leave so I don't think returning to work when your little one is 5 months old is an issue if you are happy to do this. Similarly your DH being the primary carer while you work could be fine too.

What are your annual leave arrangements? I continued to accrue A/L during maternity leave and negotiated taking leave over a period of 3 months, allowing me to return 3 days a week initially and then 4 days a week for the final month. This really helped ease the transition and worklife balance.

Yes you can do this. You'll have 2 people looking after the baby (your DH and your DM). If you're breastfeeding you can aim to get your baby into a rhythm so you roughly know the times of feeds and when to avoid calls, if necessary. I did this. Was working on a deeply time-specific project and got an all day sitter. She looked after the baby and grabbed me for feeds. I felt like a Wonder Woman!! Working and caring for my child, with compromises. Of course I missed my child but knowing she was well cared for and I was succeeding in my career meant it was worthwhile. You don't have to be a martyr to your baby. Not with your husband and mum about.

How does unlimited holiday work?

Maternity leave in France is 3 months, I was ready to go back both times.

Loads of people here do it as your are on full pay for 3 months and then very low after that and childcare is so subsided that financially it makes sens to go back.

Not everything is about money obviously but if you enjoy your job and have a supportive partner it is definitely doable.

I'm older and the fact you can now take a year still astounds me. I honestly can't imagine having a career (as opposed to a job) and thinking being away for a year is a good idea.

Your plans sounds fine.

I'm older and the fact you can now take a year still astounds me. I honestly can't imagine having a career (as opposed to a job) and thinking being away for a year is a good idea.

Your plans sounds fine.

Ahh if DH is looking after baby then yes you can 100%. My husband took parental leave when I went back after first one was 3 months old and was fine.

I think you are equating yourself to your husband. You are not him. You are the mother of the baby. I strongly suggest you will feel differently after the baby is born!
In USA women have no choice and childcare for little babies is normal.

Just see how it goes. Have a nursery place lined up as back up.
Good luck!

If DH only works 3 hours a day 5-8pm. You don't need a nanny.

Is your husband happy to do this @firstimemumconcerns

You've got a great, low stress, well paid job. Yes you might find it difficult and miss your baby but you've got a great set up with your mum and dh to have the baby so you'll know they are well cared for.
You won't be a bad mum. If it comes to it you can always change your mind but there is no reason it has to be you not dh with the baby.

Blimey, where I was living when I had DC, even 5 months off after my eldest would have been a dream! Instead I had to go back to work after 12 weeks (if I wanted to keep my job - I could have taken a year, but wouldn't have had my old job back, could have been sent anywhere). That was 25 years ago, and I wasn't paid anything for the weeks I took off - we had to save, and spend savings, to afford even the 12 weeks (I was the higher earner back in those days)

Sometimes I think the modern generation don't know they're born (no pun intended!). Well-paid mat leave that can last anywhere from a few months to a year? I could only dream back in my day where I was working! But we survived, and DC is none the worse for it (even if I'll never quite get over it) and it's the DC that matter here the most, surely?

Do what works for you all. It's no one else's business.

When I had my first DC legally we only got 6 months. DC settled so well in nursery and I was fine.

By time our second came, legally we got 12 months. It was so much harder for them to get settled. And it leaving them was difficult most days for about 2 months due to tears

I think you'll be fine IMO

I work for a similar US firm, and totally get where you are coming from with the approach to mat leave..the policy is generous but most don’t expect you to take longer than the fully paid period. You also miss out on the annual performance cycle if you are off the full year, which impacts pays and bonus, and colleagues in the US were away for much shorter periods so comparisons are inevitably drawn. Bigger salary doesn’t always equate to longer Mat leave!

I went back when my first baby was around 5 months, and it was fine. I WFH a lot on project based work, so had peaks and troughs. I had family childcare in place for the first year and during the quiet times managed fine with the baby at home for a morning/afternoon if I didn’t have meetings/deadlines. I had annual leave regular days off when I needed a break which helped.

I partly had to go back for financial reasons, but also because I liked my job and realised that it is hard to come by the salary/role/career/etc, so it wasn’t like I could just find another job like this easily.
I was mostly ready to go back, rightly or wrongly it was more the judgement of other people that I found to be the problem.
Second time around I took 8 months as it fitted with the timing of work and birth, it was nice having that bit of extra time but I was starting to get bored.