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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dad and the kitchen

58 replies

maryanne3 · 18/03/2024 12:22

Me, my DH and our two pre school children have moved in with my parents while we look for a house. We have been there for a few months, and it has all been fine until my Dad got given a piece of freelance work to do ( he is retired, but does occasional bits of writing, but not needed for income). My DH is using the study as he is WFH, so Dad is using the kitchen table. Trouble is the kitchen is also where I make kids lunches etc. Today he stomped off in a huff because DH and I were having a chat there during lunchtime. AIBU that he could use the kitchen in the evenings when the kids are in bed and the kitchen is in use?

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ssd · 18/03/2024 19:38

Your poor parents.

ScarletWitchM · 18/03/2024 19:22

why didn’t you and DH go and have the chat somewhere else since DF is using that as his working space? Imagine if DM and DF went into your DH WFH space and stayed to have a chat and expected him to work after everyone else had gone to bed

Whattodo112222 · 18/03/2024 19:20

Breathtaking entitlement.

BobbyBiscuits · 18/03/2024 19:18

His study is being used solidly for your husband to earn his living. I think your DH should vacate the study and use the kitchen himself. Your dad deserves to work or do whatever in his own house. Not surprised he's got the hump. Worst comes to worst DH has to go work in a cafe, library, we work type place etc.

Whaleandsnail6 · 18/03/2024 19:16

You cannot be serious?! You are massively unreasonable. They have been good enough to put you up, no matter how happy they are to do this, and how much you pay your way, its still an imposition on their day to day routine and you should he mindful of that, fit around them and stop moaning.

Valeriekat · 18/03/2024 19:11

Are you paying your parents rent?

Noseybookworm · 18/03/2024 16:21

I think you should apologise to your dad for disturbing him when he's trying to work! Did you and your DH really need to be standing around in the kitchen chatting while he is working? You can make sandwiches the night before and put them in the fridge for next day's lunch to avoid disturbing him. Your DH could offer to work in the kitchen and give him his study back? Or find somewhere out of the house to work, coffee shop/workspace. Either way, your dad is not unreasonable to expect to be able to work undisturbed in his own home.

Aquamarine1029 · 18/03/2024 15:40

Your parents are probably horrified at how self-absorbed you've turned out to be. Your husband should have found a different location to work, outside of the house, and allowed your father to use his own study. Your father is trying to work in the kitchen, and you think it's perfectly fine to blather on to your husband because it's lunchtime? JFC. Unbelievable.

billyt · 18/03/2024 15:36

@maryanne3

Money for food and cooking sometimes is NOT paying your way. FFS.

RitaIncognita · 18/03/2024 15:31

but not needed for income

Also this is completely immaterial.

OooScotland · 18/03/2024 15:20

No wonder the poor man’s in a huff. Your DH needs to vacate your Dad’s study pronto. Find a way for that to happen now, today, even though you know you’re moving out soon.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 18/03/2024 15:03

Yabvu

NeedToChangeName · 18/03/2024 15:02

maryanne3 · 18/03/2024 14:21

Well I guess everybody has pretty well made up their mind on this one. FWIW we do pay our way with money for food and do our fair share of cooking. Mum and Dad had always said we were welcome. We have put an offer in on a house and will be moving out soon.

If I posted and every single poster said I was unreasonable, I'd take that on the chin

RitaIncognita · 18/03/2024 15:01

mygrandchildrenrock · 18/03/2024 14:44

I’m retired and would be far too tired to work in the evenings.

This is a good point. I'm an older woman who still works part-time, almost exclusively from home. My mind is most alert and productive in the middle of the day 11 am-3 pm most days. I work best at the kitchen table, DH will come in to make a sandwich for himself or both of us, but no chit-chat and he is in and out in about 10 minutes.

When I was young, I could work in the evening, no problem. But now that I am older, I am just not very productive in the evening as I am too tired.

poetryandwine · 18/03/2024 14:48

mygrandchildrenrock · 18/03/2024 14:44

I’m retired and would be far too tired to work in the evenings.

I am a morning person and have never been able to work effectively in the evenings

KreedKafer · 18/03/2024 14:46

FWIW we do pay our way with money for food and do our fair share of cooking. Mum and Dad had always said we were welcome.

This doesn't make it any more acceptable for you to tell them what rooms they can use in their own house, and dictate the hours during which they're allowed to carry out freelance work.

Autienotnaughtie · 18/03/2024 14:45

I'd say your dad and dh swap them there's no issues

newnamethanks · 18/03/2024 14:44

There's a Premier Inn in town. Here's the number. Go there with your family. Entitled, moi?

shepherdsangeldelight · 18/03/2024 14:44

If you live with other people a level of consideration is appropriate. Either give your dad his study back, and disturb your husband instead when you make the children's lunches. Or just stay out of the kitchen when he's working?

mygrandchildrenrock · 18/03/2024 14:44

I’m retired and would be far too tired to work in the evenings.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 18/03/2024 14:40

Saymyname28 · 18/03/2024 14:32

Your DH needs to give your Dad his study back and work from the kitchen table or your bedroom. Really not OK to be taking over the house this much.

And then complaining about it

MorningSunshineSparkles · 18/03/2024 14:33

Are you this entitled and self absorbed throughout the entirety of your life or is it only when it comes to your parents, their home and their personal space?

Saymyname28 · 18/03/2024 14:32

Your DH needs to give your Dad his study back and work from the kitchen table or your bedroom. Really not OK to be taking over the house this much.

Userengage · 18/03/2024 14:29

maryanne3 · 18/03/2024 14:21

Well I guess everybody has pretty well made up their mind on this one. FWIW we do pay our way with money for food and do our fair share of cooking. Mum and Dad had always said we were welcome. We have put an offer in on a house and will be moving out soon.

Well of course you should be paying your way. Your parents have been very generous and you & your DH are taking the mick. I bet your parents are counting down.

TigBitss · 18/03/2024 14:28

First one I've seen in a while with 100% saying YABU.