To expect to be able to leave bf baby for one night

It wasn’t. It was a ‘superior mummy’ flex. Deeply unhelpful.

The ideal of not be able to (or wanting to) leave my children for the first year is suffocating to me.

My DS is 8 months and breastfed, he feeds to sleep. He will take a bottle from DH or my mum if absolutely starving but isnt really keen. I've been out in the evening several times until about 10 - DH rocks him to sleep and I wake him to feed (for my benefit to clear my boobs) rather than his. He is quite chilled though, my first DS would have been inconsolable (I did go out anyway it was just a difficult evening for DH). I've also been away in the day a few times for KIT days at work and my mum has given him formula in a cup which he's happy with then I feed him a lot when I get home.

Definitely go if you want to!

Mine was a bottle refusing little so and so who to this day at 20 months is a frequent breastfeeder and feeds to sleep… if I’m there. I left him once a month at 6mo for a night out and he goes to sleep for other people no problems. Naps at nursery no problems. Once he was eating solids and drinking water from a cup I eas ok leaving him for short periods like an evening. They are quite resilient and smart, they know if there is no boob to be had.

How is that helping OP?

That's fine if it works for you, but it is not essential. I was told that by 9m, they only need (for nutritional purposes) 2-3 feeds a day. I returned to work at 9m and fed my DC at 8am, 6pm, bedtime and in the night as needed. They had food between 8 and 6, thanks to being bottle refusers. They carried on breastfeeding until 3 years and 4 years, so it clearly didn't put them off!

Your mum can try other ways of getting her to sleep, and if she is still awake at 10pm then so be it!

My 9 month old son is breastfed and usually feeds to sleep. I can’t get him to sleep any other way. I’ve never had a night off, but if have to go out for something during the day my DH can get him to nap by walking around the house with him. I think it’s because when I’m not there he can’t smell the milk and knows it isn’t an option. I’m sure your little girl will be fine for one evening, especially if you’re going to be home at 10pm. It’s possible she will fight going to sleep until you come back but even that wouldn’t be the end of the world for just one night. Go and enjoy yourself.

If you're back at 10pm I'd expect it to be fine. I had a bottle refuser I fed to sleep, but my DH found his own methods to soothe DC and get them to sleep.

I didn't have much success pumping. I did find the engorgement painful and would be lying awake hoping DC would wake up in the night to relieve it!

If she drinks from a sippy cup then no problem don't put yourself through the stress of a bottle. I would just work out if she likes milk warmed or is fine cold. DS1 refused expressed milk if warm whereas DS2 was the opposite!

Make sure you have a pump or can hand express well though so you don't end up with issues whilst away.

Take a pump if you have one, as if your DC is a frequent feeder (like my second DD) then engorgement is a real issue..!

I had to leave my bf 9mo for six hours from 7pm-1am once as I was bleeding heavily in early pregnancy. I was a bit anxious as I had always bf her to sleep and whenever she stirred in the evenings, but she didn't even seem to notice I was gone. Me simply not being there was enough!

I'm sure your DC will be fine for a night:)

I left my breastfed 10 month old for 3 nights, and my breast fed 12 month old for 3 nights.
They had 3 a day, inc the evening one.
Absolutely fine! Had a beaker of warm cows milk with their dad and seemed to accept that fine. I squeezed a bit of milk out to stop engorgement when I was away and resumed breastfeeding (till age 3) on my return!

Do a couple of/few dry runs with your DM, so your DD gets used to the idea.

I had bottle refusers. By 10m, I was back to work and they were taking solids and drinking water from cups at nursery. An evening is fine.

At 12m, having survived the first bottle refuser, I went away for 4 days and DS2 was fine on food and water. I had hoped that he'd have wound down the feeds as DS1 had when the booking was made a year in advance, but hey ho. On day 2 the engorgement was grim, even with a breast pump. The moment he saw me he latched on again, and we carried on our usual feeding pattern and kept BFing until 20m.

Definitely go, it's one evening. Good for baby to learn to be away from you, surely you'll be back at work soon anyway.

She'll be fine.

Its actually a good idea for her to have to learn how to sleep without it.

Your DM can cuddle, rock, pat etc to give her some comfort.

Your Medal of Self Righteousness is in the post 👍🏻

Go and enjoy yourself. Leave some expressed milk that your DM can give in a cup if needed if you’re able to but if she’s taking solids well then she’s not going to starve. You might find that she’s extra clingy and wants to feed more that night/ the next day.

It will be absolutely fine! I left my bf baby for an evening when DH and I went to a wedding and my mum just found other ways to soothe him. I came back to them both snuggled in our bed and he was fast asleep

Go, but prepare in advance by giving a bottle or getting her used to self settling from e sleep so she gets used to it. If all she’s ever known is you bf her to sleep she’s unlikely to settle without it. At 10 months it’s be good for her to be self settling anyway so a good time to do it.

I would start trying to stop feeding to sleep at bedtime sooner rather than later. By all means continue feeding during the night but it's really helpful if they can get to sleep another way.

You’ll probably find baby is still up at 10pm waiting! That’s what mine would have done 😆

I personally won't leave my bf baby for more than 4 hrs until they are a year, as I don't use formula, my babies have never taken bottles, and I don't do cow's milk.

Missing a bf at 10 months is not painful in the way it is at 10 weeks.

I left my exclusively breast fed baby for the first time at 10 months for a weekend! I was so worried but she did really well.

I expressed bottles for the feeds I would miss, and some extra. You could do that and she might take the bottle from your DM for comfort sucking rather than hunger (she will probably be eating fairly well by then).

But honestly, go! They will be fine :)