My husband works long hours, 11am till 11pm. He had two days off a week, one whole day to himself where kids are at school and nursery and I’m at work, and one day where he has toddler home.
I don’t feel our chores are split evenly. He does the laundry and bins but I essentially do everything else. I also work full time, 9-5 but my two days off are on my own with the kids so I don’t get as much done as I would like.
Today’s his day off by himself. I don’t begrudge him this, and I certainly encourage him to do stuff he wants to do as his mental health got very bad a year ago. However he has done literally nothing. I’ve come home from work and yet again I have to do all the tidying and cleaning in the kitchen before I can start the kids dinner. He was asleep on the sofa. We fall out the time because I feel like such a mug.
He says that the house is not always tidy when he gets home from work but he doesn’t seem to think about the fact that I’m not at home all day doing fuck all so sometimes the house is a mess when he gets home because I’ve been at work all day, then had to come home, do dinner, bath the kids and get them to bed and sometimes I fall sleep with the toddler.
I just want him to pick up after himself or just consider me at all. The other night I asked if he could tidy up while I was putting toddler to bed. He said he wanted to sit down for 10 minutes. I knew full well he was going to fall asleep so I ended up having to do the tidying after putting the toddler to bed. He didn’t seem to understand hat if he had just spent 15 minutes having a quick whip around we could have both had a sit down and relax when I was done.
Aibu here? He makes me feel like I over react all the time and that it’s me that’s the problem. I don’t get any time to myself but I just think well, that’s just life when you’ve got young kids but he doesn’t seem able to accept that.