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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this ok?

43 replies

Catbumfomo · 11/03/2024 00:02

My partner told me today that we’re not properly celebrating MD as he doesn’t think I fully embrace being a mum. I think I do, I love my kids so much. But I also have a life outside of them. I guess this is wrong?

OP posts:
Catbumfomo · 11/03/2024 00:43

@BiIIiee but he shows me he loves le and we are really sexually compatible

OP posts:
BiIIiee · 11/03/2024 00:41

So you've posted here, everyone is telling you he's wrong and you are backtracking and making excuses for him. Yeah that's a super unhealthy relationship OP.

JMSA · 11/03/2024 00:24

Nothing wrong with having an identity/a life, outside of one's children. I mean, it's all about balance at the end of the day.

Allofaflutter · 11/03/2024 00:21

And for him not to talk to you like that and to pull his head out of his arse and respect you as a mother and actually bother to do something for Mother’s Day. Other than making shitty comments to cover up lack of effort.

Allofaflutter · 11/03/2024 00:20

Well you could ask for respect.

Catbumfomo · 11/03/2024 00:11

But he does 50% of the house stuff. So not sure I can ask for more? Perhaps I just tone down the partying 😝

OP posts:
Rosestulips · 11/03/2024 00:09

No he’s wrong, it’s very healthy to have a life outside of being a mother.

Allofaflutter · 11/03/2024 00:09

He’s not a great father, great fathers don’t make shitty comments to their child’s mum.

DanielGault · 11/03/2024 00:08

Catbumfomo · 11/03/2024 00:06

I mean I go out once a month with school mums and also see some old friends every few weeks. I don’t think this is excessive is it?

Stop questioning yourself here, you're perfectly reasonable. He on the the other hand sounds dreadful I'm afraid.

Catbumfomo · 11/03/2024 00:07

He is a great father, in fact he never goes out or really does anything away from the kids

OP posts:
Catbumfomo · 11/03/2024 00:06

I mean I go out once a month with school mums and also see some old friends every few weeks. I don’t think this is excessive is it?

OP posts:
WhatWouldHopperDo · 11/03/2024 00:06

Did he specify exactly what he thinks you are not doing to full embrace being a Mum.

Bar serious neglect, whatever he thinks it is, he's a dick.

I'm assuming there are other things going on in the relationship? This isn't something a loving partner would say.

Jellycatspyjamas · 11/03/2024 00:05

Does he “fully embrace” fatherhood? I’m guessing not.

excessivescreentime · 11/03/2024 00:05

Ummm this is not ok. If he would like to discuss your parenting style this is a nasty way to raise it.

Pippa12 · 11/03/2024 00:05

Erm… is he normally so awful? Thats not nice, I hope your ok

Mmhmmn · 11/03/2024 00:04

This is far, far, far from OK.

Your partner is an arsehole, OP. A horror.

SantaBarbaraMonica · 11/03/2024 00:03

How odd. Not sure what kind of man could be so arrogant to make such a proclamation. Certainly not a good one.

Allofaflutter · 11/03/2024 00:03

I would be handing him his arse with shitty comments like that. Arse.