To think something inside me is missing?

I don’t know. Sometimes things matter more to the people around you than they do to you, but out of love, you make a bit more of an effort because it matters to them. Like, you may think, it’s just another day in the year, but your kids might be excited that it’s mum’s birthday, even if it’s a Tuesday, because birthdays are so important to them. It’s grand being all adult about Hallmark days, but I’m not sure you sound emotionally clued in to how others might feel.

I think I'm the same! I love buying presents for others but it wouldn't worry me too much not to get any back! I have a few close friends because I can't deal with people who wind me up! I'm the same at work .... I'm polite to everyone but there only a couple of people who actually mean anything to me ... the rest are just irritating and I have no intention of spending time outside of work with people who annoy me!

Oh come on, you don't think there's anything wrong with you. You said yourself you have an overdeveloped sense of self-worth.

Re threads on Mumsnet, this is a big place and lots of people start threads every day. Do I have the same worries and flashpoints as every poster on here? Of course not. Nor would I expect to - it would be exhausting to cover so much ground mentally. Nor should you expect to either.

We all care about different things and what makes one person sad/worried/cross is not the same for the next person, and probably not the same for that same person, on a different day - lots of reasons - historic life experience, current situation/age/health, how much sleep you're getting, what you had to eat for tea, memory of a nice conversation you had a lunchtime, what you watched on telly, if you saw a nice bunch of daffodils on the way to work this morning, if you've just had a nice night out with your mates ...

And message boards like this is where a distillation of one particular thought comes out, in the context of all of the above, for whoever is posting it. This cannot possibly be identical to the thought that anyone else has, although if another poster reads it and finds some common ground, they'll respond accordingly. Just as you are doing with the posters on this thread here that you've started. Meanwhile there are likely to be lots of people reading what you've written and thinking "wow, I can't relate to this at all". I'm sure that none of them would consider themselves to be abnormal! Or, indeed, that there is anything wrong with you.

I think you sound very normal to me. I can't imagine any normal person getting worked up about a day conjured up just to sell cards (mother's day).
People are different. I haven't felt the need to have kids, whereas most people do. That's not normal to some people.
But we're all different. I try not to compare though, there's literally no point.

Honestly I reckon it’s peri-menopausal fuck it syndrome.

I care a lot less about many things that used to bother me these days…even with ADs and HRT!

I’m the same, I don’t expect my kids to drop everything and visit me on birthdays, Mothers Day etc. I’d be very upset if they forgot about me altogether, I expect a card or a phone call. Don’t get me wrong, they do buy me lovely gifts and are thoughtful, I just realise that that have their own lives and I am not the Queen 👑

I don't think you're odd at all, but then I wouldn't worry about half of the things people get worked up about on here, or in real life. I try to avoid drama though, just get on with things and take life as it comes. I don't have the energy to waste on worrying!

You sound perfectly fine to me, OP.

I'm not on antidepressants and have a similar outlook. Most things ate not worth getting excited and dramatic about.

Reading some threads on here has me questioning my own laissez faire approach to life. I'm a senior manager and I take a similar approach to managing, too.

It's a whole let better than getting all het up about everything that happens in life.

Yes!! Every year my husband asks me multiple times to confirm that I don’t want anything for Valentine’s Day or Mother's Day. He thinks he’s failing in some complicated trap. But I just don’t care about them 😂.

I have a friend who thinks I’m unemotional and detached. I’m not at all, she’s very dramatic, definitely a drama llama. I guess each to their own. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you though.

Just another perspective, my mum always used to say she wasn't bothered about Mother's Day, but I found that quite disappointing as a child, I used to make her home-made stuff or buy something little, I wanted to show her how much I loved her and it was a bit odd that she wasn't keen on the whole thing, from my perspective. Now as a mum I get it, I don't need love on a particular day and anything material, but I do let my kids (older now) do Mothers Day as they love it and like to show their appreciation.

Same for birthdays, it's fun making it special for someone else, Valentine's Day good excuse for some mutual appreciation.

I don't think you 'ought' to do any of it, just thinking aloud. My mum and her partner don't even get each other Christmas gifts!

I guess it depends if you've always been like this, or if you've just noticed and it's bothering you.

Did it co-incide with starting on Anti depressants? Only you know if that's linked. You've mentioned that you feel it may be to do with things that have happened to you, so I guess you mist be questioning what you feel as being 'different'

I would say if you've always been like this, then that's just who you are. I've always accepted myself and I just don't get overly emotional people. I've had traumatic things happen to me, but I can't link it to that (other than that my grandmother and mother were / are overly emotional and it got on my tits, so perhaps I made a subconscious choice to not be like that)

I'd say you're just resilient.

I care about some things very deeply indeed but couldn't give a toss about most of things you've mentioned. I've also worked hard to cut out dramatic people from my life because I find them quite wearing.

I sometimes think I've just developed a really thick skin because I've had quite a few personal tragedies and a high stress job. However, I know I'm not 'damaged' because I do still care about the things that I think matter, I love my family and friends and I'm generally considered a compassionate person.

So I say good for you!

Sounds pretty normal. I think if you go by MN content you’ll always get a skewed idea of normal because people only post when they have an issue- no one starts a thread to say they didn’t do anything for Valentines Day and it was fine.

Totally normal life is to short for drama

Perhaps it is a feeling secure in your relationships and yourself thing. I don't need grand gestures to know my DH and adult children appreciate me. I dunno, I tell my kids not to spend their money on me for Mothers day etc.

Mothers/ fathers day, valentines & new years mean nothing to me. I get involved in mother/ father day for my DC and my mum. I couldn't care if I got nothing. It's commercialised shite.
I also don't like going to the theatre, days out/ away in a city. I don't drink coffee so don't get the costa/Starbucks thing. I have no interest in candles/beauty product parties/ Avon. I prefer to go clothes shopping alone. Spas are just sitting around a pool/jacuzzi. With Maybe an hour treatment out of the whole day

Very good point!

Normal, like social media, don't count MN as normal.

I'm glad I saw this OP

Apart from my DH, kids and a few friends I'm increasingly caring less about people

I love my own company and cuddling up with my dog and a book is bliss

Care less and less about occasions

I'm in a very people job though!

I’m autistic and this chimes with me a lot.

Look up alexithymia. I used to wonder why I spent my days feeling blank and emotionless (not in a bad way either - I just felt like I didn’t really feel any feelings unless euphorically happy or desperately sad) but I think the real issue is that I can’t process them.