To think something inside me is missing?

I think this is normal and I feel fairly similarly, I really don't care about commercial holidays or anniversaries - DP and I have a great relationship and he makes me feel appreciated so perhaps that makes a difference! I like to enjoy my birthday and Christmas but I can't get worked up about gifts or dinner reservations or whatever. Dp will ask me what I want to do / get and I'll tell him and we'll do that. No drama!!

Friends - eh I probably care more if we have a falling out and generally would try to repair things if possible. But I think as a general rule this is a more stress free and relaxed way to live your life!

You sound grounded, wise and perfectly sane. Maybe it’s not normal but I have become more like this as I age.

You sound lovely @Merryoldgoat! Don't question yourself.

I think you are actually quite normal.

Most people don't like to see people who are experiencing negative emotion whether that be grief or upset or whatever.

They move away from them because it's unpleasant to be around.

What I find interesting is that in nature, for example in cats, because predators pick out the old and sick cats have evolved not to show signs of illness and pain. vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/recognizing-signs-of-illness-in-cats#:~:text=Therefore%2C%20cats%20have%20evolved%20to,owner%20realizes%20something%20is%20wrong.

Humans are different - as social animals we do show signs of physical and emotional pain and illness and other people (sometimes) look after us. But we're not that different.

When humans are grieving, it's common for other people to distance themselves. The standard thing people say is "I don't know what to say". When people are ill or sick, again friends and family often distance themselves.

To some extent it's obvious why - this person is obviously going to be less useful as a friend and a lot of people run their friendships on an "am I getting enough back from this person" basis.

However, the flip side of this is that if you are ever in a situation where you are ill or grieving, as the saying goes, you will find out who your real friends are. The people who are short term friends and look only at whether you are useful to them on a month by month basis will vanish.

I could have written this. I am not on antidepressants but i really don't care about stuff that seems to wind other people up.

I was going to say that. I was also going to say op is normal compared to me but that’s not a good thing! I’m not bothered about the “days” as I struggle with people treating me as I don’t think I deserve it and I’ve cut friends off when with hindsight I should have told them how I felt.

it depends op on why you are like you are and if it’s rooted in trauma.

Normal to not care about greetings cards holidays.
This.

It's nice you are non-dramatic but are you able to empathise with others and recognise they may feel more strongly about things and that's ok?

I feel exactly the same as you and I am not on antidepressants.

Normal to not care about greetings cards holidays.

Normal to not get too ruffled if a friend does something annoying but not Normal to cut people out as a rule.

I think sites like this show only one spectrum of people. Personally I love to read and comment but I wouldn't post anything.

Don't feel different because you can't resonate with others issues. You sound nice and laid back to me.

Honestly, I don't recognise half the angst on here. I literally never knew Mother's Day (for eg) caused so much misery to so many people. Or that anyone really expected anything more than a bunch of daffodils and a 'thanks mum'.

Friend arguments, the same. If I argued with a lightweight friend - I'd just move on. If I argued with a close friend (literally never happens) I'd talk to them. I love them and so we'd figure it out.

So much drama!

I feel like that to OP. Can't be saved with the drama, don't get involved in mind games or friendships that are hard work in any way. I just move on. Don't get me wrong do ha e friends but they are ones who have a similar outlook. Totally normal I'd say.

I was like this on antidepressants, it bought the bottom emotions up to being Ok/meh, but also bought the top emotions down to being Ok/meh. I am off the medication now, and am often overwhelmed by my intensity of emotions now. I thought I was a different person than I am, because most of my adult life I have been medicated and therefore didn't know who I really was. It's been hard when I've had negative things to deal with and those big negative emotions, but for me it's been worth that now. I feel much more connected emotionally to my loved ones, including my DC. I am surprised by how often I cry for a whole range of positive and negative emotions. I often find my eyes streaming at school events or sad movies. I hadn't been able to cry for 7+ years before coming off antidepressants

Reason for what? Not getting over emotional about Mother’s Day and the like?

I really don’t think that’s because they’re on antidepressants.

This is interesting.

On the one hand I don't think caring or not caring makes someone dramatic.

However cutting off friends to me seems dramatic.

If Valentine's Day is important or unimportant to someone isn't the issue.

It's about if your partner understands your feelings, respects your feelings, and if you communicate well.

I don't think it's ever about the day, more about if you feel appreciated and respected.

I also think it's ok to want a fuss. Women work bloody hard especially as mums, I love that there's a day recognizing that.

Yeah, I get this! I always find birthdays a bit weird- it's nit really my day, I didn't do anything! When my mum was alive I always felt it was a day for me AND her- it was her giving birth- day! Now she's gone it means nothing! But my kids' birthdays mean a lot to me ("this time x years ago....")

I'm also weird because I am very pragmatic about death and illness. My mum was ill for most of my life, and I learned to be very logical about it- what can we do, medically and practically. I don't get the point of weeping and wailing. Whenever I have had health scares I am equally pragmatic, and it's all worked out fine thankfully. When my mum eventually died, I knew it was the best thing for her, as she was so poorly and had no quality of life. I was obviously sad, but back at work the next week. I know people thought I was callous...Same with my grandparents. If anything happened to my kids though , that would be a whole different ball game!

OP I think most are like you, I am not really fussed about all that stuff, its just my nature I'm just pretty laid back. As others say I think people can get upset if they aren't getting the respect or love they need day to day and so it feels like a real slap in the face when birthdays come round and you still get no acknowledgment. If your life is good and you feel happy and loved day to day then these things aren't such a big deal, if anything they are nice excuse for some extra fun but that is all.

@Merryoldgoat a whole thread of people agreeing
It's heartwarming knowing there's so many others feeling the same way

I am much the same..we don't do valentines or anniversaries really. We don't feel the need to because we appreciate each other regularly. It doesn't need to be a thing! Same with mothers day. I don't like a fuss. A cheap bottle of wine and a multipack of Curly wurlys is all ive asked for this year. I'd rather just spend the day with my kids (they have both agreed to an afternoon of board games). I am the same with friends and acquaintances. I've no time for drama. I think it's very normal to just stop giving a crap about things that will cause you stress as you get older. You care less.

I am on antidepressants but don’t feel numb, just more even.

There's your reason

You are giving two rather extreme examples I think. Hallmark holidays, honestly most people I know don't care. I certainly don't and I wouldn't have too much respect for those who take them seriously. But not caring about friends is another issue. I make a big effort to keep people I want in my life, sometimes tolerating things I possibly shouldn't. If I let things come between us I wouldn't have any friends. But I do know some people like you that don't seem to care, they just move on.

As previous people have said, it’s the posters who do find such stuff important and get in a tizz about Mother’s Day Valentine’s Day etc that end up posting on here about it. The rest of us read and wonder what all the drama’s about, shrug our shoulders and think meh. But you won’t hear from us cos we’re really not bothered. 😄