Wedding menu

I've read you updates but not the full thread.

Go with veggie but make sure it is 'widely appealing veggie' e.g. decent sort of pasta/ cheese pie sort of thing. Starters and mains are often veggie anyway. I didn't pick the exact things I would have wanted for my wedding menu since I wanted it to appeal to the most amount of people. I did think about the veggies - I emailed the choices before hand and let them pick they went with Thai Green veggie curry

Not great but a colleague went to a vegan wedding (I know v different) she said quite a few people got pissed really quickly since they didn't eat the food, in her words 'it was pretty much kale'. Others left to go to the chipper.

Our other starter was melon boats, maybe you'd have liked that.

It’s self centred because you’re asking someone who doesn’t eat meat for ethical reasons to pay for meat and to watch it being eaten at her own wedding when she has such strong values regarding meat consumption.

I’m a meat eater, but there is nothing wrong with not eating it at someone’s wedding. If someone doesn’t like it then they can sod off, frankly. Vegetarian food still includes dairy and eggs. There’s literally thousands of possible food options.

I really don’t see the issue. It’s more disrespectful for her loved ones to expect meat when they are so aware of her reasons for being vegetarian.

For me, there’s nothing worse at a wedding than having to pander to guests every desire. You’re paying thousands of pounds to benefit other people who don’t respect you enough to respect your wishes.

How is offering a veggie version the same as offering a meat version?

I went to a wedding by vegetarians and their menu was veggie. I thought it was nice. I did hear a few complaints but I thought those people were dicks.

Offering vegetable lasagne or vegetable pasta, to me, is the same as offering a menu with roast beef or beef enchiladas - if your guests are not keen on beef it is a restrictive menu and imo not being a good host.

You don't need to agree with me, we have different opinions and the OP isn't just looking for ones aligned with her own.

@YoureALizardHarry11 yes I do eat lots of vegetables and happy to eat vegetarian for one meal. But it might not be my choice and I know mostly male older relatives that really don’t like vegetable and choose meat at every meal. The point is the vegetarians are not allergic. It’s choice. What’s wrong with giving everyone the same respect that they are afforded at events. Offer a menu choice in the invitation and see how many would prefer meat based dishes. It’s about making everyone welcome at your wedding. Not having people just put up with your choices or starve. That’s not welcoming or inclusive. It’s mumsnet. These are opinions. I’m sure OP will do what she wants anyway. This is just about giving different views. I like to cater for all my guests and make everyone feel happy with their choice. The best wedding food I’ve ever eaten was actually a buffet and everything was there. You could choose from so many options. I loved it.

For me it’s

would I care if I was a guest. Absolutely not. I’m personally perfectly fine with a veggie meal.
would I do this if I was the host. Absolutely not. A good host caters to their guests tastes.

If anyone drops out because of no meat op, I'll have their invitation! Italian sounds lovely. Much better than the standard catering chicken in white sauce sort of thing. The last wedding I went to, all the food seemed like it was our of a mass catering catalogue and defrosted for the occasion

I'm loving these visions of meat-only weddings. Like there would be a roasted pig, plates of salami, a load of gammon steaks and absolutely nothing else.

By the end of the night everyone would have meat sweats and constipation, the toilets would be full of hammy sick puddles but at least they'd have taught the veggies a thing or two.

It’s not remotely the same thing. Meat eaters can eat vegetables but vegetarians can’t eat meat. How can you even think it’s the same 🤣 It’s her wedding and she doesn’t eat meat for ethical reasons, so it’s self centred and disrespectful to make a fuss about a meat free meal for one day.

Honestly, this is why I’ve always said I’d elope and have a small intimate wedding if I got married, I couldn’t be doing with whinging and entitled guests ruining the day. It won’t kill you to eat vegetable based food for one day! You probably eat a lot of meat free things without giving it a second thought in your daily life anyway.

People are so weird about stuff like this.

I hope the posters who “prioritise my guests” and “don’t force my choices on them” also held a referendum as to the date, time, location, dress code and full menu of their wedding, rather than forcing their choices on anyone.

I eat meat. I would find it odd to eat meat at the wedding of two vegetarians. Why would I want you to pay for something you object to ethically? That would be unbelievably selfish of me.

I would just ensure everyone knew in advance. I wouldn't be trying new food due to an ever growing length of allergies and reactions so generally would be safe with meat veg no sauce that generally is where the extras are added in catering.

If you share the menu you are offering that would be very helpful.

well, it’s only ok if you would feel it’s acceptable to go to any of your friends or family’s events and they served you meat with no veggie option. It’s the same thing. I know lots of people that would be disappointed to only have veggie choices.
its respectful to cater for all choice which is why your friends and family offer veggie choices for you. I think there are lovely vegetarian dishes so it’s not about there not being nice choices. It’s not everyone’s choice, that’s the point. Cater for all. If it’s a question of cost then reduce the number you are inviting.

I’m a meat eater and I honestly don’t see the issue.

exclusively vegetarian food is what I’d expect at the wedding of two vegetarians. And good vegetarian food (not just the regular menu minus the meat) is delightful imo.

and I don’t attend weddings due to the food. So even if it’s something I wouldn’t want to order myself, it really wouldn’t be a big deal.

I completely disagree, the vast majority of couples are considering the enjoyment and wellbeing of their guests, not just themselves. You are choosing to think of yourself only and that's your perrogative- but don't pretend everyone does this.

The pp pescatarean is another good example, only serving meals that she can eat. Most couples are fine with their being one meal they like and don't need all alternatives to suit them.

If think if your friends did not understand and support your decision then they are not very good friends. I would just make them aware of it because some might want to eat a little bit beforehand if they are concerned they will be hungry. I am ceoliac that’s what some of us do before events

I'm sure people can live without meat for a meal. I'm a meat eater but I have no issue with being served a vegetarian menu. Your day!

I've been to weddings with food I wouldn't chose, but the couple getting married did and I was hungry so I ate it. I don't really get the insistence from some that there should be a meat option, surely everyone is an omnivore and can eat vegetables?

I often see this discussion on here but never in real life, where in reality vegetarian food is served at all sorts of events and I've never seen anyone complain or be unhappy about it

You would be surprised how often the allergy questionnaire only has check boxes for the main allergies with no place to declare anything else. People are worried that free-text will invite preferences, but free-text is necessary.

I'd do the vegetarian. A good friend got married and mainly meat eaters except the bridecans some of her friends. They had a meat dish a fish dish and a vegetarian dish. The vegetarian dish sounded so great more then half picked it.

Congratulations! My neice and her husband had a wonderful vegetarian Italian menu last summer. I'm a meat eater as were many of the guests and all agreed it was delicious.

Surely there isn’t a single meat eater out there who doesn’t regularly eat vegetarian meals - I wouldn’t even notice!

Your wedding, your choice. I would expect the wedding to reflect the bride and groom. Being both vegetarian, I'd expect vegetarian fare.

I would say the most important thing regarding food rather than it being meat or not is that your guests are not left hungry at any point.

Too many weddings have been at lunchtime while guests have to scramble to get enough canopes while photos take ages. If you have a lunchtime wedding, make sure guests are fed.

And speeches after food!