Wedding menu

As it’s a mixed wedding, i didn’t want to go down the Indian food route as that felt a bit gimmicky so went neutral.

I think you're doing yourself a disservice here @imnewhere2024, vegetable curries are the business!

I do think you're probably right to highlight the generational aspect of this – none of my friends or grown-up DCs' friends would bat an eyelid at vegetarian food even if they aren't themselves vegetarian, whereas my 80something parents, aunts and uncles might raise an eyebrow. My mother wouldn't know what to do with a curry whereas my DH, who looks and sounds as English as they come, cooks them at least twice a week for our family.

But you know it's hard to please everyone – for example I'm diabetic so a choice between pizza or pasta would be far more problematic than a curry or risotto, or even a nut roast 😀

Got married around 20 years ago, both my husband and I are vegetarians for ethical reasons. Like you we didn’t feel comfortable serving meat so had vegetarian food only. It honestly wasn’t a big deal. I would assume most people assumed it would be vegetarian but if anyone did mind then they had the good manners not to moan to me :) I have been to plenty of weddings where the food it not to my taste, c’est la vie.

Serve what you want, but definitely do not tell anyone in advance. This was my number one wedding rule, don't give guests the chance to moan. I doubt it'll be cheaper though, our wedding catering cost the same for meat or veggie. if I went to a wedding where bride and groom were veggie, I'd expect veggie food.

Do you ever entertain at home? How do you feed people in that situation? If I was your friend or family I’d expect your wedding to be catered on the same basis.

that’s said, the vegan/vegetarian options on menu of your venue look delicious so I probably wouldn’t even realise the menu was vegetarian at first glance.

you are already going down the non-standard wedding food route so I I’m sure whatever you decide will be good.

It's your wedding. Do what you want. If you only want to cater vegetarian food that's 100% OK.

I'm not a vegetarian but I don't need to eat meat at every meal (and indeed I don't even eat meat every week at home). I've been to a couple of vegetarian weddings and there was no meat and no drama.

People who stamp their foot and throw tantrums about going one meal without meat (or having vegetarianism "forced" down their "throats") are reactionary drama queens and the wedding will be nicer without them.

I haven't RTFT but I imagine some people have come on to explain how their very specific food intolerance means that they will keel over and expire if made to eat an aubergine. Obviously if any of your guests do have specific dietary needs then it's best to communicate with them and sort something out in advance.

Absolutely wouldn't bother me having veg meals at two vegetarians weddings. My husband might struggle as he's so fussy but that's just tough.

Your wedding. Your money. Your choice. Congratulations.

But two veggie options isn't remotely like offering two beef options. In the beef options, the primary focus is on one ingredient so even if it's kebabs and roast or roast and stew, the beef is the focus. Vegetarian food could easily be roasted and stuffed aubergine or risotto. Totally different ingredients. Vegetable lasagne or a bean and lentil stew. Totally different ingredients and focus.
Also, allergies catered for, one is accessible to everyone and one isn't.

I'd like to add that while my husband is vegetarian, I'm not. But I don't die when I eat vegetarian food.

Any dietary requirements outside of vegetarian were also, obviously, catered for. Saying you can't have vegetarian food because of an allergy so everyone should serve meat is just ridiculous IMO.

It's totally different unless you have an ethical objection to eating vegetarian food.

And what meals are exclusively just meat? A roast would have vegetables, Yorkie puddings etc., a curry would have rice, lasagna has pasta so even I'm your "I'm a carnivore" menu you have enough non meat items to put together a gorgeous vegetarian meal.

It isn't like you don't eat non meat stuff, you just normally have meat with it. Vegetarians don't have mainly vegetarian with a bit of meat.

We decided to have a meat option for our main course (similar to vegetarian, but mushroom and chestnut rather than beef), but have a fully vegetarian evening buffet. This kept most people happy, and the few who refused to eat from a vegetarian buffet didn't starve (not that I would have cared to be honest as refusal to eat the buffet was pathetically childish and if I'd know before I would have uninvited them!)

You missed the messages from Caringcarer then lol

I'd be absolutely fine with this. As long as allergies (not preferences) are catered for. I'd look forward to it in fact. I'm not vegetarian but any change from bog standard chicken breast n'sauce catering would be very nice.

I'm vegan and only had vegan food at my wedding. We had lots of compliments on the food (there were three different options available, for each course) and it was a total non-issue

For me I do not want to support/fund animal cruelty and murder so why would I do that for my wedding day.

I’d expect vegetarian food at a wedding for someone who is vegetarian. DH and I have two good friends who are vegetarian and they got married last year. Leading up to it my friend was so worried as she didn’t want to pay for meat to be consumed at her wedding, she said it felt morally wrong. They’re both very relaxed at others eating meat in front of them - we’ve often been out for meals and DH and I order meat. But it was the actually paying for meat themselves for their wedding which bothered them ethically. Some of their family members weren’t happy about it and the advice I gave her is what I’ll say to you OP - it’s your wedding, you decide the food. Their food was vegetarian in the end (a buffet of Italian/Mediterranean dishes) and omg it was amazing. If someone wants a grumble then let them, but there’s always someone having a moan at a wedding anyway so just ignore it.

I didn't say it was.

I said offering two veg choices is offering a restricted menu.

Same as offering two beef choices only is offering a restricted menu.

Neither are, imo, particularly guest centric/friendly or good hosting.

It's your wedding, have the food you want as long as you are catering for dietary requirements and allergies. People would be very rude to comment negatively about it.

I'm really shocked at some of the responses on this thread. If you'd risk falling out with the bride and groom over the meal they choose for their wedding day then you're clearly a terrible friend/relative anyway.

Also, the 'traditional' meat and two veg followed by a beige buffet in the evening is very old fashioned, I have been to veggie/vegan weddings and weddings where meat has been served and none have been like that. We've had pasta dishes, curries, pizza, tapas, Asian food etc at the weddings we've been to. It didn't even occur to us that meat and two veg was 'traditional' until we were complimented on straying from tradition at our wedding.

My husband and I are vegetarian. We had a fantastic Indian vegetarian buffet for our wedding. There were 150 guests. Some I hadn’t met before as they were friends of my in-laws and I didn’t even think about whether they would not like it. Had too many other things to worry about. I have no idea whether anyone complained or not but 14 years later, people still talk about the food. No one would have expected us to serve meat or fish and we didn’t even entertain the idea.

Perfectly fine to serve just vegetarian food.

This

Wouldn’t bother us at all. Serve what you like.

We are both veggie and had a veggie wedding. There was some grumbling ahead of the day from some relatives but the day itself was fine, no-one made a scene or walked out in disgust.

We tried to pick food which was naturally vegetarian and avoided fake meat or veggie alternatives which would be less familiar to some guests like seitan or tofu.

It felt wrong paying for meat on a celebration of us as a couple when we're both veggie. We also wanted to be able to eat everything being served. We did get offers from some relatives for them to pay for meat to be served but declined. We paid for everything ourselves so we weren't beholden to anyone else.

I’ve been to lots of veggie weddings. Not a big deal

I'm a meat eater though fussy so I often chose a veggie option in a wedding menu. I have family members who are fussy (just meat and potatoes on a Sunday/ Xmas dinner). If I'm inviting people to a function I want them to enjoy themselves so I'd cater for them.