Wedding menu

@YoureALizardHarry11 of course I will eat food which is vegetarian but i won't eat fake meat products. I don't agree with Op's attitude to her BIL refusing to 'meat alternatives' which are basically completely over processed and can have really bad affects on people. I don't think a meat eater should have to eat fake meat products out of gratitude (as OP suggested in previous comment on this thread.)

Not sure I’d be choosing my wedding as the hill to die on for this, if people are kind enough to come to my wedding, take the time out their days, spend money on clothes, travel, accommodation, then I’d give the best meal I could and to their tastes.

i don’t see the bride and groom as doing them a favour by inviting them, more the opposite,

so for me this would not be something I did. But if you and your partner feel this is appropriate not to give people a choice, then don’t.

Regardless of whetehr a plate of vegetables and potatoes is a dinner, it's basically serving a meat based meal and saying to the vegetarians "you can just remove the meat". It's telling one section of your guests that they're not important enough to be catered for.

I’m assuming you eat vegetables and meatless food such as pasta and bread quite regularly and enjoy doing so, as most people do? Expecting a meat eater to eat vegetarian options is completely incomparable to expecting a vegetarian to eat meat. There are no ethics involved in the former.

I was on your side with the vegetables but no alcohol is where I would bow out and I'm not even a big drinker!

Oh come on. You can’t expect a mass catered event to deal with that level of dietary restrictions and preferences. Allergy to mushrooms is a reasonable thing to cater for. But low carb diets, extreme picky eating and simply not liking vast swathes of perfectly ordinary food is really not the bride and groom’s problem.

And I say that as a picky eater myself.

Serve the food you want. It’s your day. It’s not a restaurant. It’s ONE meal, and a free one at that. The meat heads will survive.

It’s only one meal I doubt that many would have an issue.

Hopefully there will be a few
options so everyone can find something they enjoy.
I personally don’t like meat alternatives like fake chicken so would find that kind of food off putting.

See I think that's where you're wrong - your fiancé's brother's reaction to your cooking.

I don't think anyone should be forced to eat food they are given just to be grateful. Certainly I wouldn't support a meat eater forcing their food on vegetarians so don't think the opposite should be ok either. Plus fake meat can be awful, I personally have had really bad reactions to meat alternatives.

I really don't understand some PP saying that they 'don't like vegetarian food'. How does this work in practice? Does every forkful have to have some meat on it? Eg I just had a roast with lamb and would say 80% minimum of the plate was non-meat - I enjoyed the roast potatoes, stuffing and cauli cheese etc just as much as the lamb!

Vegan I can see may be a bit more controversial (mainly because I love cheese, eggs, mayo and butter and the vegan versions just aren't the same...) but veggie can be lovely and every bit as tasty 😋

The Indian weddings I have been to (admittedly a whole two of them) were both no alcohol and veggie.

Pizza, various pastas, salads, breads from you venue above would be fabulous and nobody could miss meat with these as an option.

Go for a veggie menu - it's your wedding and you are paying. Serve what you want. Nothing beats a fabulous bowl of pasta!

@imnewhere2024 but If we only provided soft drinks as we ethically didn’t believe in it, would people have the same issue and EXPECT free booze.

No, as they could buy their own booze but they don't have the option to buy a non-vegetarian meal. A better comparison would be a dry wedding. In my experience, people respect the couple's choices but have a worse time.

I have a severe allergy to mushrooms. Even a tiny amount means I can't breathe, my throat and tongue swells and I have to have an adrenaline injection. In my experience vegetarians try to stuff mushrooms in many dishes. I don't like vegetarian food. I don't eat vegetables except cooked carrots and peas. I don't eat salad. I don't like things with onions. I don't like rice, couscous, pasta salad, anything with mayonnaise or spread, nuts. I avoid pastry, bread and high carbs as I'm on a high protein diet. I do like cheese but I'm not keen on eggs. I eat a lot of salmon, steak and chicken. It's not that I think anything terrible will happen to me, provided no mushrooms, it's just I don't like it.

I'm an omnivore, but would be more than happy to eat vegetarian or vegan at a wedding.

I tend to choose the veggie option when available anyway, as I can't know that the meat is from higher welfare animals, and I'd rather not eat intensively farmed animals.

I would look to cater for my guests diverse tastes not look to take the opportunity to impose my life / food choices upon them.

Fine to do vegetarian but do ensure there's options for those who don't like things such as tofu, nut roast etc. and those not keen on spicy foods

I do eat meat but not with every meal. It's not a hardship to eat veggie for one meal (presumably paid for by you and DH-to-be)! I also agree with others that if I was attending a wedding of two vegetarians I'd expect veggie food.

The menu at that restaurant looks lovely BTW. I wouldn't usually think of pizza and pasta as 'special occasion' food but the dishes themselves sounds delicious!

💯 this

Definitely go vegetarian

If you can do squeaky cheese pie - like the old school dinners of the 1960s - I think many of your guests would be absolutely delighted

(Having pineapple sponge and pink custard for pudding might be a bit much)

OTOH, don't go near the school dinner TVP curry - vile!

The serious point is that people who were in school in the 60s would have had one or two school dinners a week that were vegetarian (there was no choice back then, not had packed meals caught on). So it's a normal way of eating for the older generation - assuming to glam it up a bit to wedding status.

We paid a little extra to have 3 options. One was vegan, one vegetarian & one meat. It was only a small wedding, though, & didn't add hugely to the cost.

@imnewhere2024 Those who have said they look forward to trying new things when they eat have the right mindset

See, it's phrases like this that make you come across as preachy and superior. It's vegetarian food, it's not anything unusual

If you invited your friends and family to your home for a dinner party I imagine you would serve them vegetarian food. Do the same for your wedding, just higher end as it is prepared by chefs.