Wedding menu

Blimey. You would be a nightmare guest.

I am not a veggie anymore (used to be) but only really eat chicken and fish. It would be absolutely fine by me and expected if both the bride and groom are vegetarians. My husband has never been a veggie and says it wouldn't bother him either. The only kind of person I can see making a fuss about it would be someone like my FIL who seems to have based his entire personality around his love of eating the dead flesh of animals. If you've got loads of guests like that then you might have some pushback, but otherwise I can't see it being an issue.

Those people talking about OP giving people a warning that it's meat free food: surely they'll know that when they make their choices? Unless it's buffet style, OP? They can moan about it quietly at home when they get their invitations.

I'd probably get someone to talk to your BIL in advance though, if you think he might make a fuss, and suggest that he has a full English breakfast that morning or something if he can't cope.

I would expect veggie food at a wedding between two vegetarians.

Also wedding menus are restrictive anyway, when there are only three or four choices, there’s always a chance people won’t like it.

Be true to yourselves and have a vegetarian wedding. It will probably turn out so much better because it will force the caterers to be a bit more imaginative. Wedding Food can be a bit samey.

Where did I say that people must pretend to like it?
I clearly stated that if they don't like it. They shouldn't eat it. Obviously, if they don't eat it, they don't like it! No pretending here.

Comments aren't about veggie vs meat eating. It's showing respect to your hosts.
Let's say someone made lemon chicken and you don't like it. Acceptable to say 'sorry I'm not a fan of X Y Z, I'll pass'. Or maybe try a bit, and then pass.
Not fine to take some, try it and then say 'this is disgusting/inedible' etc etc, or make a big show of pushing it around the plate.

@NoCloudsAllowed but If you'd expect to be respected for choosing to be vegetarian, why doesn't that extend to meat eaters? Why be derogatory?

@Youcannotbeseriousreally

There's a huge difference between not eating meat & eating other things you usually eat (vegetables, breads etc) & expecting a vegetarian to eat meat.

they don't want to pay for & serve something they find ethically wrong.

Wow - that is a very long list of requirements, which I think would be challenging for any caterer, regardless of whether veggie or not. Allergies aside, the aim is surely to try and find a menu that will suit the majority, not to try and satisfy the specific tastes of each individual?

I'm now an ex veggie, but I think people who can't eat vegetarian meals without throwing a strop about it are both ridiculous and setting themselves up for poor bowel health.

@2chocolateoranges

why?

how would you feel about serving, say, dog at your wedding?

@PingvsPong I think it's fine to serve food to your ethics, I don't think you can force people to pretend to like it. Loudly protesting no, commenting they don't like it, fine.

Well he should tell him not to be rude! Although OP what do you lose if he is? It's only going to reflect badly on him.
Fine to not partake and get something else later not fine to protest loudly.

I think this is hilarious the derogatory angle here you can't just have an opinion without putting down a food choice.

I quoted the wrong post 🤦‍♀️

This is the crux, OP. You can definitely dictate the menu at your wedding, but you can't dictate how others feel about it. Some of them will find it disappointing, some of them will pick up food on the way home, some of them will come away saying "lovely wedding, but the food was pants". I'm sure that happens at omnivorous weddings too! You're setting yourself up for upset if you require everyone to love your vegetarian meal - they won't.

@SleepingStandingUp I don't think it's on to police people's comments / views about a food choice! Of course Op shouldn't tell her partner to tell his brother to put up and shut up, what level of superiority is this

I think if you can give a warning, people cd always slip a cheeky ham sandwich in their bag if they really can't endure a few hours without dead flesh.

We had a veggie wedding. Warned people of this on the invite. Most people lived the food, older relatives maybe less keen and one slightly twatty older uncle went home early because of it!

I would say check the food is actually good, catering veggie food can be unappetizing. And make sure there's something for unadventurous/older/younger eaters who might not be up for Thai fusion or miso infused xyz. People basically want bread and potato to soak up all the booze :)

Is that what you honestly draw from what the OP said?

I'd fully expect veggie food. Tell DF to have a word with his brother, or MIL. Tell him he doesn't expect any comments on the day, that it's rude and he has advance warning if he wants to eat before hand.

Id just make sure there's lots of lovely food, limit the fake meat / plant pretending to be a meat. Lasagne made with vegetables, pasta, pizza, good quality, rich cheeses, breads.

I think with the Italian slant, pizza, pasta, salads etc no one will miss meat, it's not like serving a roast with extra veg as a PP suggested!

But equally you cooked a meal you knew he probably wouldn't like and then expected him to not only eat it but be thankful? I assume you wouldn't feel the same if you were served meat. By all means serve meat alternatives but you can't force people to actually share the same opinions as you.