Does it ever feel enough?

Im what you would call dirt poor by MN standards.
But i dont feel like it i am grateful for everything i have.
Im happy everyday.
I had my child young and worked up from nothing now im comfortable and can relax abit. Ive never wanted more and more happy with where i am im childfree now and do as i please.

Yeah I agree with @Jellycatspyjamas - most of the people I knew earning that were never satisfied or felt wealthy! That was my point.

But if you work in finance can you look at moving to the better paid areas? Asset and wealth management, as well as investment banking were some of the better paid areas when I was there

See from that, I just wonder ‘what job in finance?’ im in finance too, 1/3 that salary would be nice

You think that, but then look at all the people who teach that and then complain about the marginal tax rate, lack of child benefit etc etc. Some folk are literally never satisfied, always comparing with others, always looking at what they don’t have. It’s no way to live your life.

I don’t feel that way at all. I have a decent salary, a low mortgage and an ever again car. I plan for holidays etc and am content with whatever I can afford in the budget.

I grew up with absolutely nothing, and have worked hard to get to where I am now - I was probably more driven when I was younger but now, in my 50s I’m happy to financially secure with a fairly average lifestyle, no private school, massive house (with massive debts), expensive hobbies. I think the “more, more, more” mindset is harmful to our mental health not to mention the environment and I’m happy to opt out.

I dont feel that way. I've always put my salary bumps into overpaying the mortgage so I've not levelled up with the bigger house and car.

I like to make things. While that can be expensive I think it gives me a sense if achievement and occupies my thoughts. I also read a lot of books so I dont see a lot of advertising so I dont really want anything more.

Do you need something to focus on? A project? Buying stuff is usually not about the thing but the experience. Feeling like you should "treat yourself", "invest in the best", have an "experience", buying an image of yourself, nice car, looking respectable etc. Its marketing.

Recognising that takes away a lot of the power.

Whereas my parents afforded fuck all so everything I’ve done feels like a achievement

This is the angle I'm coming from. My dad was a labourer who couldn't read or write. My mum wasn't educated past high school and only worked until I was born, when she was 22. She never worked a day since. We had nothing growing up. I was told uni was only for "rich people". We lived in a very low aspiration area and were a low aspiration family!

I did end up as a single mum (ex was abusive/violent), but I went and got an education, access course then degree, and a semi decent career. I say semi decent as its public sector so not big bucks! But a lot more than I ever thought I would earn. I did also move away from my home town which made a big difference.

I have a really good life. The DC are adults now and have done well. I have a nice home, I travel, I have a great work/life balance. If I want something (within reason) I can buy it. Yes a few more £s in the bank would be nice but I don't "need" it.

At a time when people are really struggling, having to use food banks and not being able to heat their homes. I count my blessings. A few of my family members rely on UC to top up their wages so its not a world I'm unfamiliar with. I'm just thankful I don't have to rely on things like that any more.

I'll give a bit of perspective from the other end- I worked in finance and I earned well (over £300k with bonus by the end) but I worked closely with people a lot higher up the scale that were earning what for lots of people would be life changing bonuses every year. And for most of them it was never enough- lifestyle creep and comparing themselves to others meant that very few people ever felt it was enough even at that level. And whatever people's views of finance these were greedy jobs, in that they were very intense, long hours, high pressure. I saw a lot of people nearly killing themselves to earn money they didn't need. And with the frequent rounds of redundancy there was always the fear.

My click was when my boss told me her boss called her when she was on her way to her father's funeral. She answered the call, and he expected her to! That was a massive 'what do I want my life to look like- not like that' moment for me. Then the pandemjc exacerbated that.

I moved to a cheaper area and now work part time in a job I enjoy on about 20% of the money I used to earn. I see my family a lot and have a good balance. But when I see old colleagues a lot of them express envy but they don't seem inclined to do it at all! Almost everyone I know who has stepped out have been women, only one man. Won't lie, I miss the money sometimes and also the buzz- high pressure jobs can be quite addictive! But I feel
I have a better life now.

So it's a long winded way of saying that there isn't a magic number - you might never feel you are there. I've found looking at what do I want in the round- material things and experiences and time and so on- to be better for me. My last observation is that my mum retired on not much more than a state pension but because she owned her home and had low outgoings, she felt well off. Some people will feel happy on 20k, others will still feel broke at £500k!

I have absolutely no interest in climbing the greasy pole, having a bigger house, better car etc at all. I am comfortable as I am with an excellent work/life balance. Would I work my socks off so I can drive a flashy car? Not a chance. I have always lives very modestly and well within my means, which gives me great peace of mind and time to spend with those I love. This to me is worth more than anything.

I feel lucky and grateful for what we have. But I do also get that sense of always wanting more.

This is tied up though with wanting to BE better - better at my job, a better wife, a better mother. I want to achieve more in every area of my life because that's my character. I want a promotion because I want to be that bit more skilled, that much higher up etc and the increased money is a reflection of that.

I tend to spend money on services more than things. So pay rises are used to release time elsewhere in my life - a cleaner, sending ironing out, a home car valet once a month etc. So I can spend more quality time with the people I love, and be a better less shouty mum because I'm not so stressed about all my housework etc!!

I sometimes go through phases of wanting a better car or a bigger house etc but it's usually fleeting because I often don't want to part with the cash for stuff like that as I'd rather spend it on other things like experiences for my kids.

@Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong

Depends what you mean by succed in life doesn't it.
Does it mean I've failed because I live in a Victorian terrace with no car and going to a caravan in Wales for my summer holiday?

Yes OK we are also going to Copenhagen for 3 days in June

I think its a personality type. Those that succeed in life are always going to be a bit less satisfied as it's their nature to always want more. That's the nature of ambition I suppose. My DH is like this and it annoys me. He has reached his peak career wise and now is becoming unsettled about where we live and other aspects of our lives although we are very comfortable.

The pandemic put everything into perspective for me.
I was furloughed for such a long time that I re evaluated my life and realised I was wasting so much money.
I did a financial overhaul.
Looked at what was really important for me to spend my money on and then reduced my working hours.
Time is more important to me than money at this stage of my life

The way to achieve significant salary increases is to move companies.

The largest increase I had was a jump of circa £40k, which was 46% of the salary I earned in the job I wanted to leave.

I never tell recruiters what salary I'm currently on, only the range I'm looking for, lowest and highest £50k apart, the lowest being what I'd accept as a minimum, about 20% more than current salary.

Additional rate of 45% is applied over £125,140 @Pursuinghappy.

You also get £0 personal allowance at that level, so every penny earned, is taxed.

Dh went back to work 3 years ago after several years out (ill health, then SAHD, then retraining).

I think we could have easily ended up in that position, just by moving house and it was tempting, but his work was initially quite precarious so we saved most of his salary against him maybe not having work the following year.

Now things are a lot more secure, but a big part if me just wants to keep saving. We had NO security net in those lean years. Now we have the rainy day buffer, can support ds1 at University, can replace things when we need to.

We also don't need to worry too much about the mortgage fix ending next year because it's a small mortgage on a cheap small property.

If we were on the same income though and it had happened gradually I've no doubt we'd feel like you do.

A lot of mnetters on our income wouldn't be happy living as we do though, and maybe our dcs will resent that we didn't spend more on lifestyle things plus they won't inherit the proceeds of a bigger house.

@Pursuinghappy

I did say decent, before I adopted my son around 32k. When I adopted him he had DLA and child benefit so probably total income under £40k. I'm a single parent.

I fully appreciate that I bought my house in 1999, I couldn't afford it now. And yes £32k bought more in 2000 than it does now. But because of my son's additional needs I worked part time and didn't go for promotions. My salary was still £32 k when I left last May
I have plenty of friends who went for the bigger houses, cars etc etc. They are still paying off mortgages- I'm not

no, don't feel like that at all, from my late 30's I've made career choices based on what I want to do rather than next step up - and on occasions I've chosen badly, walked away and taken a break or gone into a new role.

I would define someone who has a very high salary as being an additional rate (45%) taxpayer, if in the UK.