Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this cheeky?

82 replies

Isthischeek · 01/03/2024 22:19

Acquaintance I don’t know very well but trying to become friendly with asked me to go to an activity today - just us two no one else. When I got there she told me she has a two vouchers which will expire Sunday so used them to buy ticket. No cost at all to her so basically free. I said she didn’t need to do that and I could have brought my own ticket she said I can just put the amount I would have paid in her bank account. I didn’t think much about it. Got home and she messaged me her bank details.

I’ve transferred the £31.50 into her account. She got the tickets free from work btw and has had them for 6 months, some I think she said she used up but didn’t use her last 2 which she did today. They expire Sunday. It’s an activity I would never had done but I messaged her last week to get lunch/dinner today as she’s been asking me to let her know some dates I’m free and she suggested this activity. No mention of vouchers at that time for context. I didn’t want to appear rude so just said sounds good.

Do you think this is cheeky or just makes sense?

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 01/03/2024 22:47

I'd have just said thanks. I'd have appreciated her using something like that on me.

Candleabra · 01/03/2024 22:44

She got the tickets, you thought she’d paid, and you naturally offered to pay for yours.
Later you found out they were free to her.
She is cheeky. Very much so.
At several points in this transaction she had the chance to say they were free - but she let you believe they were and accepted your money. So she has a free activity AND the full face value. Some people are just takers in life!

Original poster
Isthischeek · 01/03/2024 22:42

thank you for the replies. I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt and think positive not jump to conclusions. If she didn’t have the voucher I would have paid anyway so I’m going to just clear it out of my head and not judge her.

OP posts:
Scaffoldingisugly · 01/03/2024 22:41

I would report her...

Original poster
Isthischeek · 01/03/2024 22:40

I work with her. Work offer many incentives for free at Xmas time. You can have vouchers such as free cinema tickets, restaurant money off etc. you have 3 months to use. I usually pass mine onto my DC as they use often.

when I got there I didn’t realise she paid using her voucher, I thought she paid with her own money that’s why I offered to pay her back. She told me then she had 2 vouchers left and it’s expiring Sunday (that part was accurate!).

OP posts:
CheshireCat1 · 01/03/2024 22:38

She sold you something that you didn’t want and would have no use for it herself if she didn’t sell it.

betterangels · 01/03/2024 22:37

BeADinosaur · 01/03/2024 22:32

I said she didn’t need to do that and I could have brought my own ticket

You offered to pay for your ticket. She accepted. I don't see how you can now complain about her taking the money you offered to her.

Agree. This is on you. Why didn't you just say thank you?

Original poster
Isthischeek · 01/03/2024 22:36

Sorry I was trying to be vague with details so not too outing I’ll write the facts below;:

OP posts:
Original poster
Isthischeek · 01/03/2024 22:34

@user1492757084 at this point I didn’t know she had the vouchers I thought initially she PAID herself. Only later after my comment she mentioned it was free and she got x number (don’t remember how much she said) for free at work. I didn’t offer after this but got a message with bank details later when I got home.

OP posts:
ButWhatAboutTheBees · 01/03/2024 22:34

It does sound like she only said you could pay her back after you said you'd have paid
She might have felt you thought you were being cheeky using her free ticket

You know... to try and give her some credit....maybe

catscalledbeanz · 01/03/2024 22:33

Yanbu! It's cheeky.

But if it were me, I'd overthink and worry that

A- she NEEDS money so she orchestrated an event in which she could get some (I can't think of any other reason to do this and so quickly send your details over)

And, more indicative of my own imposter syndrome than anything else

B- she doesn't actually like me but used me as she saw I'd be a guarantee to pay her the money she needs.

LaurieFairyCake · 01/03/2024 22:32

At my work if you got something free you weren't allowed to sell it on ...

xyz111 · 01/03/2024 22:32

I wouldn't bother getting friendly with her again!!

BeADinosaur · 01/03/2024 22:32

I said she didn’t need to do that and I could have brought my own ticket

You offered to pay for your ticket. She accepted. I don't see how you can now complain about her taking the money you offered to her.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 01/03/2024 22:31

Nooooo that's awful!! She invited you just to sell you a ticket that she got for free that would have been valueless in a couple of days. Wiiiiiide berth in future!

user1492757084 · 01/03/2024 22:30

She sent them once she had access to them and only after you insisted that you would have preferred to have paid rather than take her free ticket.

There are some people who do not like to be beholden unto another and perhaps she now thinks you are one of those.

PattySpringsteen · 01/03/2024 22:30

Thats not just cheeky but bloody stingy! I’d be distancing myself.

Original poster
Isthischeek · 01/03/2024 22:30

See I would just have said, no problem you can get drinks later or something like that so that way her vouchers would have been used and we could have got some nice cocktails for £30+. We left after the activity didn’t go anywhere else.

OP posts:
Original poster
Isthischeek · 01/03/2024 22:28

@user1492757084 but she sent her bank details later on when I got home. So she was expecting payment.

OP posts:
Sausage77 · 01/03/2024 22:27

She’s awful. Awful! Don’t befriend her!

user1492757084 · 01/03/2024 22:27

Instead of just thanking her it seems to me like you almost insisted on paying.
She was making you feel fine.

Proceed with paying your own way when you are both out together.

Mollifi · 01/03/2024 22:26

Really greedy of her. I would probably have done the same as you this time, but be wary in future.

RantyAnty · 01/03/2024 22:26

I don't understand her thinking of why she thinks you should pay for a ticket she got for free?

And I also don't understand why you sent her money for a ticket she got for free?

Original poster
Isthischeek · 01/03/2024 22:26

i’m trying to see it from her point of view, I’m really trying as don’t want to judge too harshly! But could she have a point in doing this? Maybe she thought it would be a nice way to get to know each other and maybe she thought I would have paid anyway so she might as well use her voucher and I pay her instead?

OP posts:
Picklestop · 01/03/2024 22:26

I am inclined to think she was cheeky, but you did say that she didn’t need to use her free about to expire ticket on you. I am not sure why you said that really.