Pushy parent or neglectful nursery?

Poor baby. Definitely speak to the manager.

That's awful. I'd complain to the manager and even considering switching to a different nursery.

I think it’s little one. Annoying his many times it appears in one post !

I'm usually quick to defend childcare settings but I wouldn't be happy about this at all.

They should be offering milk feeds as close to normal routine as possible.

Being sent home in a dirty nappy should only be a rare occasion, you'd expect them to be close enough to smell a lot of the time! I only worked in a baby room briefly but we also checked nappies before handing over - we routinely did them morning and afternoon and then just before the end of the day for those that did full hours, but would still check at home time to make sure!

Naps.. I did work in one setting that had a policy of allowing children to sleep as long as they needed up to 3pm (if I remember right), so would not wake them sooner. That would be a conversation to have with the manager - is it policy or is their life just easier when baby is sleeping?!

That is not considered good practice for children this young

Are you sending milk? Usually under one they expect you to provide.

I think not acceptable and you're not being pushy.
Baby shouldn't be sent home in soiled nappy - that's not ok. Of course a one off but for this to have happened multiple times in just 2 weeks isn't ok.
Regarding the milk - baby's still very young and they should absolutely be listening to your requests on how much to feed them (or at least offer).
Sorry you must be feeling crappy about it.
The nap one is tricky as they have multiple children to deal with but one nap for a 9.5 month old is normally not enough.
Follow your gut and if you're not happy, move them x

At my sons nursery we give them a breakdown of the normal routine and they try to stick to it as much as possible (they do have a disclaimer saying it might not always be completely possible in terms of exact nap times, etc as it partially depends on others children, etc). Our nursery have said they aren’t allowed to wake the children up from naps,
I can’t remember why, they’ll try to make extra noise, etc to wake them but they can’t physically wake them up.

I wouldn't be happy with that

And should be allocated and introduced to you as soon as LO starts.

Mine started at nursery at similar age and we never had those issues (although he refused milk at nursery). They kept him on two naps until we agreed together to move to one. He has always come back in a dry nappy (he's been there a year now). One of the most concerning things is that you don't know if your baby has a key person? That's normally the person your baby will become most familiar with and form attachments with, to help them settle in.

That’s just horrible. I know that after spending the whole day changing nappies I become immune to the smell which is why they absolutely should be checking bums before home time. There could be many reasons for the oversight, probably a staff shortage, because that is rife in Early Years atm but it’s not an excuse for lack of basic care. Definitely say something. I would email the manager.

My DD started nursery at the same age.

Firstly, I think it’s in the EYFS framework (or some other rule) that you have to have a key person for your child, so I’d raise that with the manager or head of room as a query.

Naps, we just adjusted to the one nap a day apart from once or twice she had an extra one in the morning whilst still settling in. I think in a couple of weeks they probably won’t come home as tired, it’s still early days. We had crying from tiredness a lot more at the beginning.

Nappies, I’d raise to them if/when it happens again.

Bottles, we were told to aim for three bottles a day by then by the nursery, so one first thing and last thing at home, and only one at nursery. I gave one as an option in the afternoon, just in case she didn’t eat much lunch, but she often didn’t need it and they then spoke to me about removing that once she was one. So, they should talk to you about it if there’s an issue but I think maybe if they think they’re eating well, they think they don’t need it possibly.

Naps I wouldn’t get het up about. My DC started nursery at 10.5 months so only slightly older than yours, his routine was still two naps a day but he would never do that at nursery, it’s a different environment and he never slept as well there. He’d catch up on sleep a bit at the weekends instead.

Milk I would say that’s a number of bottles to be having still, nursery probably isn’t used to having a baby who has so many. If he really needs it though then they should offer it. My DC was only having one bottle at nursery when he started, after lunch/early afternoon, and he dropped that pretty quickly as again, he never wanted it in the busy nursery environment, but he’d still have it on days he was at home.

Nappies they seem to very often have a habit of pooing just before pick up. They shouldn’t leave him soiled but it can sometimes take a while to notice (remember they’re in a room with lots of pooey babies all day so probably become a bit noseblind). I used to check DC before I left and change him myself if he needed it, we had a 40 minute commute to work/nursery on the bus so I always wanted to make sure he was clean for that as I wouldn’t be able to change him for a while.

This is poor practice. Does your DC have a key person (should do)? They are responsible for your child's wellbeing and sharing communication.
A good/outstanding baby room would follow your routine from home for sleeping and eating.
Did the key person have an explanation for not giving bottles?
Ask them to check his nappy before they hand him over.
The manager is best placed to deal with the staff involved and needs to know as she is responsible for their practice.

Do they send you over LO’s daily dairy? This should include all times of nappy changes, milk/food and naps. Mines over an app and they send it pretty much as soon as I pick up.

They absolutely need to take care of your baby the way you have requested, especially around nutrition. I’d speak to a manager based on the milk offered alone (in writing).

YANBU, we had two in FT at that age and none of that ever happened.

You've said it to the staff in the room, I'd wait to approach the manager if there is no improvement.

Are you sure he didn’t just soil his nappy in the car on the way home? Because you’d be surprised how often this happens. I would say something and make sure you check his nappy when you pick up. We always change before meals, after naps and always check just before home time as a rule and obviously in between when needed.

Nappies I’d be fine with if it’s not a regular thing and no soreness/ signs of discomfort. My LO always filled his nappy at the last minute! The staff would check the nappy, then get them ready to leave, then he’d poop and I’d change him there before heading home (or staff would offer)

I would mention the food issue, reiterate your routine, tell them baby is coming home hungry and request they’re offered food or milk more often.

I wouldn’t ask them to wake a sleeping baby.