Is this grandma ish?

It was obvious that the first post meant "I think I like this duvet, but is it actually grandma-ish? Because if so, I'm obviously having a huge lapse in taste and I won't buy it".
So "grandma-ish" was used as a synonym for "bad".
(Sorry OP, this isn't aimed at you, just trying to explain why some of us felt the wording was a bit off).

Don't worry about it OP. There are always posters who take any opportunity to put the boot in, over some tiny thing.

I’m an old person and I think it’s ghastly. Does that help?

I’m a grandma (just). I don't like it, it’s too floral and chintzy for me. I like ThevWhite Company or Cologne and Cotton bedding.

You're fully entitled to hit your head against a wall but I wouldn't recommend it.

Yes, you've made several replies stating that you didn't like the words used, they were ageist and sexist but you also said (about the OP):

I knew she was using the term negatively. She wasn't using it as in 'is this grandma chic?' she was using it to mean 'yuck, old'.

How did you know this? Or was this possibly just what you thought she meant?

I didn't take OPs post to mean this. Is it just a case of interpretation? The way I read it, OP was looking at the bedding and asking if it was old fashioned / something like your granny would have i.e. Granny-ish. She was calling the bedding granny-ish. She wasn't going on a rampage calling all women over 50s old hags/witches/dried up barren old prunes.

I just can't get offended at someone calling bedding granny-ish.

Does that make me inferior to you because you are offended and feel you know more about internalised misogyny and sexism than everyone who doesn't share your view? Because that's how you are coming across on this thread.

@TheShellBeach it's not 'reprehensible'. Get a bloody grip!
As for 'pointing it out wherever it appears', it's your opinion, which isn't universally shared.

HNRTFT but as a Grandma I think it looks really tired and dowdy.Did think title pretty thoughtless TBH.

Can someone please explain? I know what internalised misogyny and ageism is but I cannot see how that fits in with a question about bedding possibly looking like something your granny would have liked.

I already have, several times, earlier in the thread. At this stage, I think I'd rather hit my head against a wall.

Ah.
So you don't really think your comment was reprehensible.

I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why the phrase grandma-ish is offensive and ageist

Because the sub-text is that there is something laughable about that duvet cover.
The OP was mocking it.

No. It should be pointed out wherever it appears.

I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why the phrase grandma-ish is offensive and ageist.

Would it still be ageist if I asked, 'is this like something your granny had?' or describing curtains or knickers as granny curtains/knickers?

Can someone please explain? I know what internalised misogyny and ageism is but I cannot see how that fits in with a question about bedding possibly looking like something your granny would have liked.

Well I am a grandma and it's not to my taste.
But all grandmas are different we don't suddenly all have the same taste and think the same when our children have children!

You've apologised several times, I think posters need to accept that you are sorry for any offence caused.

Nothing like a bit of acting outraged to pass the days

This has pretty much negated your apology.
"Sorry I got caught"

Yes, you DO have to be careful because these things are important. Important how we view and how we treat other people, even if their experience is different to ours.

OP you can use that term if you want to, or not, as you see fit.
Personally I don't view 'grannyish' as derogatory to older women - to me it's just synonymous with 'old fashioned'. And we are allowed not to like the things that we associate with our own grannies' era. My own nan, if she was still here, would probably hate my house.

To me it seems overly harsh to berate a person when they only wanted an opinion on a duvet! When it comes to fighting misogyny, there are bigger fish to fry.

I haven't told her she can't use it @LadyBird1973 I've told her it's ageist and sexist. Now personally, when someone points out to me that they don't like a term and why that is, I tend to take it on board. I might then still disagree with them, but I will listen and actually, I have stopped using certain terms because other people find them offensive and I don't see the point in offending people unnecessarily. The OP is free to use whatever terms she likes, within MN's T&Cs. Other people are free, and absolutely have the right, to point out whether or not they agree with those terms.

You can find it offensive - the OP didn't tell you that you can't. But equally you have no right to tell her what terms are and are not acceptable to use. You do you, as they say.

Very old fashioned and dated in my opinion

I think we need to stop policing other people's language.

I think we need to stop policing what people do or don't find offensive. You can use those words, other people can discuss them with you. And yes, I knew what the OP meant - that's precisely the point. I knew she was using the term negatively. She wasn't using it as in 'is this grandma chic?' she was using it to mean 'yuck, old'. I mean she can keep doing that, because MN isn't particularly great at taking such posts down, but other people can keep saying they don't like it.

And then the OP can think 'oh okay, maybe I should find out more about this. Maybe I can read up about internalised misogyny, maybe I can use different words in future'. Or she can think 'fuck it, I don't care if I offend people and I'm not bothered about finding stuff out'. That's her call.

I think we need to stop policing other people's language. Grannyish isn't offensive in the same way that racist terms are

You don't get to decide what other people find offensive.

Ageist and ableist posts are every bit as offensive as racist posts.

Calling people out for ageism isn't policing their language.

I think we need to stop policing other people's language. Grannyish isn't offensive in the same way that racist terms are - we all know that different generations had different fashions and tastes, which we are not obliged to like. It's clear that the OP is referring to what was fashionable/tasteful when the old women of today were younger.
That 40/50 year olds can be grannies is utterly irrelevant. As a pp said, we all know what OP meant and to pretend otherwise is disingenuous.

It's no more misogynistic than not wanting fashion/decor associated with teenage girls either, imo.