Tied into commitment made a year ago

Of course you can change your mind

She posted only about three hours before your post. She has no duty to give hourly reports.

It doesn't sound like you committed to anything other than temporarily helping out while you were on maternity leave. You have no obligation to help out indefinitely, neither does your mother. If your husband wants to help, he can pay a childminder to pick his child up.

Where did the OP go?

This!

Did you commit to doing it indefinitely or did you offer to help out for a short period of time while she found other arrangements? You must have realised that you would be back working at some point? I think it's really up to DSSs parents to sort out the arrangements going forward and your DH needs to back you up. If there's no wraparound care at school, is there a local childminder she could use?

I hated having to revolve my day around my OWN childrens' school run. There's absolutely no way I'd revolve it around someone else's child! (Bar a one-off emergency). Doubly so if I didn't even have a school age child yet. One of the best things about not having school aged children (whether because they're too young yet, or have graduated) is the freedom from these time restrictions.

I'd tell DH that it's his and his ex's problem as of Monday, as you're no longer doing it. They can pay a childminder if necessary (and make sure DH knows that if they have to start paying for school run childcare, that it is not to negatively affect your shared DC financially in any way).

As Zammo once said. Just say no!

You shouldn't have to be relied upon at all. If parents agree 50/50 ( more fool them) then they do it . Mum needs to find a childminder or work on her network. Dad needs to leave you be. I am a step parent btw. We do what we can , when we can.

This. Bad enough that his ex is taking advantage of you, but your own dh is taking her side! It’s not even his contact time, how on earth is it your, and especially your mothers problem??!! I’m assuming he thinks you’re a bit soft and you’ll give him less of a hard time than his ex if he digs his heels in. I’d point out it was a favour in unfortunate and unforeseen circumstances, not a commitment, and a favour you’ve carried out for an entire year, you were expecting gratitude, not a hard time! And I’d give them until Monday to sort something else out for the future. Stop being a pushover. I’d honestly be rethinking my relationship if my dp had this attitude towards me

why do people aslways do this wen someone is wfh-youre still working and its also not your responsibilty

your dh and ex should be sorting this out not you and you didnt make a long term commitment you were elping out

I think they're both taking advantage of you.

What did she think, that you'd do it for the next 6 years?!

I would be reminding her that you've helped a lot and that you're sure she's grateful. That you are working and it can no longer work. You'll do it until the end of the term then she needs to work something else out. Perhaps she can flex her job?

I think it depends how much you see your family unit as including your step-child or not. If you see yourselves as one family then I think that puts a different lens on it - it’s just the older sibling needing picking up.
Would a positive spin on you being flexible be that you - and your mum - will develop more connection with this older child in your family than would happen otherwise. Might make a big difference as the years roll on.

Suggest that if it continues you will have to charge them at your accountant hourly rate as that is the opportunity cost of you not being able to concentrate on work.

100% agree.

Not only do they expect it and are no longer grateful, it has morphed into becoming your role and responsibility.

Your DH and his ex now have the mindset that it is your "job" and responsibility to pick up/drop off your SC. This is what you are up against.

My advice is to be assertive and firm. Do not let them rewrite history.
This was a short term favour, which no longer works for you.
You have become an easy solution to their problem. Neither of them are thinking of the impact to you.

It was very kind of you to step up to help in an emergency. Pair of cheeky fucker. Tell them to sort it out themselves!

You didn’t commit to this though. You stepped in temporarily to help out in a tricky situation while you were on maternity leave. That was in no way a permanent commitment and you need to make this clear to them. In fact they’ve taken the piss by relying on you this long; they should have made other arrangements asap.

Your DH is organising childcare on his week so DSS’s mum needs to organise childcare on her week. It’s not your job to look after her child for her.

I would be really pissed off with my DH in this situation. The ex is naturally annoyed as she was onto a good thing and is now inconvenienced by your boundaries. She doesn't care about you so of course she is going to whinge. Your DH is your life partner and should have your back.

This is dsc mother's responsibility. It's on her days.

@Rubbishconfession has it nailed

Unfortunately, this is one downside of WFH. Some people don't take it as seriously as if you were office based. It's infuriating

I would be furious about being taken advantage like this. This isn't your child and the cheek of these two idiots trying to make this your problem. Even bigger cheek expecting your dm to take this on. Stand firm and don't let them guilt you. They have no respect that you have a job. Why is your job less worthy than the child's own mother??

A month is way too long. I would give until Monday.

Sounds like both sides needs wrap around care 2-3 days per week then your DH can choose the other weekdays every week.

Both your DH and his ex are using pricks.

Please say no, calmly and coldly, and please also don’t pull your poor mum into their mess.

They are absolute twats for turning it around on you and saying you shouldn’t have committed.

And please don’t even do the emergency pick ups, the school need to call the PARENTS, not you.