To get fed up when people put downer comments on lighthearted posts?

Maybe some people did over-emphasise their point; but to be fair, there are some truly nasty things that are still recalled with glee and hilarity on that thread.

Surely it was the people chuckling at some really horrible actions who stopped it being lighthearted, long before the 'fun-spoiling' people came along to react to them?

I know the thread title was a giveaway, in that they were indeed awful things; but it also said 'as a child'. People in their 30s, 40s and older who were still laughing at shocking things that they/others might not have realised the seriousness of as children was rather unpleasant at times.

There was a lighthearted post about bad things you did as a child. I may have not got the title right but that was the theme of it it was funny. But sure enough there were "this is a horrible post" and "why would you think this is funny" "this is abuse" etc

Why do some posters on here take umbrage at a ‘lighthearted’ thread, even going so far as to say how dare someone tell them they shouldn’t post heavy, traumatic stuff on it. There are plenty of other options to post heavier topics on. And no one is telling you what to find funny or lighthearted, but no one is going to consider abuse or violence those things are they.

It would be like a thread saying, tell me something you found funny today and someone says they found a dead body. That’s not funny is it!

I remember that thread / post and thought "Nah. I'm not taking the bait."

Some of those posts weren't 'non-serious', they were downright nasty.

I think it’s a little naive to take a thread like that at face value?
Come on, the Gucci bag and oysters at the airport thread was deliberately designed to incite the reaction it did.
If people suspect a wind up for entertainment, they will respond in a similar non serious vein.

Doesn’t anyone, including @Queenconsult, see the problem with the OP’s whole premise?

How absurdly flawed it is to argue about this, in THIS forum?

AIBU means “Am I being unreasonable?”

Well no, because she's asked an AIBU question!

And this happens in Chat threads too, all the time (I see you've backtracked a bit in your first post now, but I'm still going to emphasise this).

The number of apologists that cropped up on that thread though 🙄

That's something else, you get a thread where someone's behaviour has been terrible by any standard and there's always someone ( or several) who either miss the point totally and/ or go on about how the situation isn't that bad.

I find this to be something that is much worse on mumsnet than just about any other forum or social media that I use.

I bet they wouldn't dare be as unpleasant, at least.

The vindictivness on that thread was something else, even for this place. You could just feel some posters' joy at giving a dig and trying to bring the poor woman down.

I liked her bag too. It was a nice summer colour and would look nice if you were wearing white.

I agree with the OP.

How much effort does it take to just scroll past and think 'that thread is not for me?'

I really don't care about the royal family, or which handbag looks better with a new outfit, but I am not going to post comments on those threads expressing my view.

Probably not, no. 🤣

The was a post the other day where a woman was showing off her new Gucci bag at the airport. I said something tounge in cheek like 'can we swap places' and some poster asked me why I want to swap lives with a stranger based on one photo! Do these people ever converse with people in real life I wonder?

It's only offensive to Debbie Downers!

And re a pp, I didn't see op say this was only about threads in aibu?

No, the OP didn’t say it was only about threads in AIBU.

but I would get fairly rich if I counted the number of threads in AIBU which start ++ LIGHTHEARTED ++ before they post something that has no dilemna or question involved.

it then brings in an audience who aren’t necessarily on the board to have a chat and a joke. You get the “vipers” types who just want to have a kick at the OP, and people who are here to chat about misery, not someone’s DH failing to know how to work an air fryer etc.

My point is still valid, but I know it will sail well over the head of the types who just want to shout “FORUM POLICE!” any time anyone wants to point out misuse of AIBU.

Its not normal

Well this is social media and it’s a common occurrence, so it is normal in that sense.
Real life social etiquette doesn’t apply unfortunately.

In the same way you wouldn’t start a conversation with a few people in RL and walk off without a backward glance. That happens all the time!
The same way you wouldn’t expect people to mock someone to their face to raise a laugh or make personal insults to win an argument.
Thats par for the course in online chat forums.

People are lonely and desperate for any interaction, so I can see how sticking a jarring comment on a light hearted busy thread achieves them some recognition or satisfaction because they feel ignored, lonely, angry, whatever.

It’s only a matter of time before “Social media will damage your mental health” will be a necessary government warning at the top of every page 😬

Understanding it doesn’t mean justifying it or liking it though. And if there are no rules in that sense, op can freely admit on here it annoys her.
I think Its far less frustrating and better for your mental health to accept SM for the beast it is.

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

And re a pp, I didn't see op say this was only about threads in aibu?

Also, it's not normal. You wouldn't walk up to a group of people that have nothing to do with you, who are laughing and joking and say 'I don't think you should be laughing, making light, having fun, joking etc because my mum/dad/husband/child died.

You'd walk on and keep it to yourself or go to a bereavement group or discuss it in an appropriate time and place.

I'm not defending it but nor do I feel I can attack those who do it - I'm saying it is what happens on open forums for understandable psychological reasons.

I am not surprised when I see a sad post at any time on here, given how many people use the site, and when I do I make a choice to either reply or ignore.

My point is the site's guidelines don't prohibit it - some sites do delete if you go off topic. So that's the nature of the site that you're using.

Doesn’t anyone, including @Queenconsult , see the problem with the OP’s whole premise?

How absurdly flawed it is to argue about this, in THIS forum?

AIBU means “Am I being unreasonable?”

It was meant to be a specific sub-section of Mumsnet where people posed problems or dilemnas, and others came in and gave their criticism, or sympathy, or life experience.

What has since happened (and it’s the Internet, so yes, anyone can post etc) is that because of the sheer amount of eyeballs in this section of Mumsnet, some posters like the OP have taken to treating it as if AIBU is Mumsnet. in its entirety.

Therefore, if you only posting in AIBU, and you want to break the forum’s theme and post something random and abstract and silly, you then need to preface it with a LIGHTHEARTED headline - to avoid the regulars from actually weighing in on the topic.

It is the equivalent of someone choosing to listen to Radio 4 or Radio 5 if they were perceived as popular, then demanding that they play Taylor Swift or Ed Sheeran, just because they fancy a pick me up.

I mean… there’s Heart radio, or Capital for that. They get “traffic” and listeners too.

Likewise on Mumsnet, if you want to post something lighthearted and get loads of traffic; there is Mumsnet Chat.

YABVU @Queenconsult because basically you want this section of the forum to bend to your rules, when you could quite easily go to the bit of the forum where you wouldn’t even need to write “lighthearted” before you posted!

It clearly is, given how much people say it happens.

If it happens 'all the time' then it is normal. Normal doesn't mean desirable. Fighting in my town centre after closing time is normal.

It's been happening all my life certainly, just it used to be verbal before social media.

Best comeback I’ve read on here for a while!

Those are all very valid, well-made points.

I often think that MN is the Four Yorkshiremen for the 21st century, their problems, misery etc are always worse than anyone else's!

Is Dyson Downer acceptable or Miele Misery? I often think that the children of some posters must live in very humourless homes where every little word is analysed to death.