Boundaries for Grandparents…

Stop using them, and pay for childcare that follow the rules you like. 🙄

The evidence found no benefit from restricting fluid intake. The consensus of the GDG was that it is important to actively raise the issue of fluid intake with children and young people and families and carers to counter any misconceptions about fluid restriction.

From a meta analysis of various studies into the cause and treatment of nocturnal enuresis.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK62715/

I tended to drop my DD off and just tell her to have fun x
Any fallout would be met with ‘grandparents rules are different to mine and at this house bedtime is X’ end of! It wouldn’t be up for discussion and repeated grumbles about it would be met with something being taken away as punishment…. They’d soon except that bedtime changes depending on where you are!
The drinks after a certain time and being left with other people would be the 2 that annoy me the most… and saying things and then denying it….
If it annoys you I’d simply not allow sleep overs there and tell GP why!

...the drink thing is for your child’s own good

Except it isn't. It flies against all up-to-date medical advice on bed wetting. Grandma is actually in the right here.

I know Mumsnet hates unsolicited advice from grandparents, but sometimes it's worth listening.

I think it’s more findings boundaries that you can all get along with. We were lucky that my parents always respected how we patented our children but equally going to GP house was always fun, they maybe got
to stay up a little later (within reason) and probably had more treats (again within reason) I think it helped that our parenting methods were fairly similar.

I am actually very reasonable, I have lots of empathy. I always strive to be fair, I feel very passionate about fair play.

I ask for second opinions, I ask my parents and family for advice (and take it sometimes!), I suppose I was putting myself in OP's shoes and was outraged at the unfairness of it all! And then I came across as slightly unhinged I think 🤣

Thankfully that isn't my situation at all. I swear, I get emotionally invested in some posts!

😳

The hair or leaving with other people is nuts, and the drink thing is for your child’s own good but I think other than that you have to accept screen time/ junk food, and of course they can’t keep your punishments going!!! They’re not at home so you have to accept they’re there for more of a fun time surely! Hope you all find a happy medium where they listen to you more and you relax more too about it all x

Smacking! Auto-correct

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Rosindub
Is it news to you that pot noodles are an economic necessity for some families?

Apologies, yes that was a stupid, thoughtless comment.
I hope we can agree about snacking.

Is it news to you that pot noodles are an economic necessity for some families?

I have read your update which was a little more reasonable but I do wonder how you will manage and compromise as your children get older…and have their own views on their own needs.

I look after my two grandsons two days a week. I mainly follow dd's wishes. They eat healthily, play outside when possible and wreck my house when playing indoors 😂.
When one comes for a sleepover it's different. Bedtime is a bit later than home and he gets hot chocolate and popcorn after dinner. Dd is well aware of that though. I would never cut either boys hair.
I think you are overreacting a bit. I would not agree to carrying on punishments from home. That's unfair on both grandparents and child. Tablet time is limited anyway. I've given dgs1 a drink at supper time and I get him up for the toilet before I go to bed. I did it with his mum when she was that age. If the bed is wet, I'll wash the bedding. It's no big deal. Your mil and you seem to rub each other up the wrong way.

My mother used to fill mine with sweets and cake. It was always a joy that they were happy to go and she was happy to have them. Sadly not often because we were so far away.

I'll happily help out my dc from time to time when they have children. However probably less so if my dil were to be as dictatorial as the op. I think it's awful. The GP don't have to ha e the GC and many many couples don't have that privilege.

jamswell · Today 14:13

Your child your rules. I'd never go against anything my daughter wanted in respect to her children”

Never? If she told you to smack them or feed them pot noodles for dinner?

Your child your rules. I'd never go against anything my daughter wanted in respect to her children

@aliceinanwonderland your dcwere dry during the night because the hormone that is required to stop them peeing in their sleep was there at that age. That's all it is. It's hormonal. You cannot night potty train. End of.

I suggest some research on this before you have grandkids of your own and make their parents feel bad for their 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9yo wets the bed.

Nor do I.

Still up more than once!

But as pertaining to children - was suggested for one of my DGC who was still wetting at 9. Made no difference at all. They just grew out of it in the end

If I were the grandmother I would stop babysitting. You sound like hard work.

How old are the children /child.

How often do they ask to baby sit.

BounceHighBaby · Today 13:31
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“That poster is right.
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Looking after our children is a privilege, not a right. If you don’t respect us enough to listen to us then you lose that privilege. No skin off my nose”

You are in a privileged position yourself to be able to hold that opinion.
Many parents now don’t have any choice but to use grandparents for child care. Equally, I’m sure many of those grandparents, who are making their children’s lives much easier, often (on MN anyway) with little gratitude, and who have done their bit bringing up their own families, don’t always view long days with little ones as a privilege, however much they love them.

Let her do it her way at her house. Nothing wrong with granny treating them a little - that’s what being a granny is about!

I have absolutely no idea what happened when mine stayed with my parents. They did a bloody good job bringing us up and I had no reason to think they wouldn’t do the same with mine. I always took the view that what happened at Granny’s stayed at Granny’s.

👍thanks for explanation of the “shouty”…youre points are now much better made 😊