Decision time-final embryo

I'd use the embryo, then I could feel I was leaving the decison to fate. Chances are it won't be successful, if it is, you will know it was meant to be. But that is how my mind works - you have to do what is right for you.

How come you didn't try after the clinics were open again?

I don't know if you are aware but you might have been told old when your embryo was created to donate to another couple. There is an age limit.

I'd use the embryo.

Our clinic destroyed my remaining embryo's without contacting me (even though they had email and phone number) and it crushed me like nothing else.

Do you feel too old to be pregnant, or to be a parent? Apologies for the clumsy question, imo I don't think you're too old to be a parent, you'd 'only' be 58 ish when your child turned 18, that seems fine to me tbh, as long as you feel healthy and can be active, and you really want to I personally cant see a problem.

In all fairness dd has not been a toddler for 3 years, she is in full time school now ?

Life cannot have been that busy that you didn't manage to send an email.

You went through a lot to have dd, why not give the gift of life to another woman to allow her to become a mother.

I would not donate to science.

Personally speaking, I’d be happy to donate it to science. I imagine it would be used for research purposes and would help other people become parents.

I couldn’t donate it to another woman - that baby would be your child’s sibling, and 100% genetically yours. Imagine knowing that that child is out there somewhere. Also, you’d have no say in who uses the embryo, I’d hate to think that it was an unsuitable couple or person.

Fwiw, assuming all is well with you health wise
, I don’t think you’re too old for pregnancy at all, if that’s what you want to do.

It is tough. I donated mine and focused on the feeling I had during the horrible years of trying to conceive. If it helps one other person not have to go through that, it makes me feel less awful about it.

I can't entirely help with your dilemma OP but we donated our remaining embryos for adoption and the clinic seemed... Confused? It's not common in this country so just worth bearing in mind if you do settle on that decision the embryo still might not get used (ours haven't and it's been over a year now)

What were your thoughts about it when you started the process. Does that help?

@Rainlovers Totally understand when it's been such a tough journey for you ❤️

We did ivf but no blastocycsts.
i think youve waited too long. 5-6 year age gap. 46+ parents.
If you were that keen this conversation would have been woth a 12m age gap etc.
we were back at the clinic for round 2 with 12m dd1.
also its only one go so you couldnt get too onvested as you cant have that high a chance even woth it being a blast as you were 39. And presumably used the higher rated one first.

overally it os an issue many who dod ivf will have some frozen.
just be glad of the choice as there will be many catholic countries who wont let them be wasted so could be a long term cost.

@Rainlovers Yes, I meant finding out if you even CAN donate as my clinic also said 35 was the max age for a women to donate her embryos

I can't tell from your timeline if you've continued to try since your DD was born i.e. in the last five years. I could understand using it yourself earlier than this, but I wouldn't use it at 46. If the discarding/destroying upsets you too much, investigate the other avenues, but I'd let it go personally and not give it another thought it at all possible. Focus on enjoying your DD and not starting the primary school years all over again in your 50s.

We had two children, and a couple of embryos in the freezer.

I remember the feeling so well signing the bit of paper for the embryos to go to scientific research. I knew we couldn’t afford any more children, I knew we didn’t have room to house them. I knew I never wanted more than 2. But it still felt weird signing that form.

Once done, it was like a weight was lifted from my shoulders - but that was me.

so tldr - you have to do what is right for you. And I feel for you making that decision!

What a tough decision. I wouldn't donate mine to another couple I don't think, although it is an incredibly selfless thing to do for someone desperate for a child like yourselves have been in the past. I would probably donate to science though, hoping it further improves fertility treatment for others in the future. I'd ask if the managed implantation is also an option like a previous poster has mentioned, that sounds really lovely. That they are back with you even if they don't become a child.

@Rainlovers Yes it wouldn't survive if it was used for science. Such a tough decision. Like someone else said, worth finding out if you can donate

Egg donation is a whole other ball game to embryo donation though. Most egg donors don’t think about it.

I'd use it, there's plenty of older mums out there, though you'll need the sort of husband who steps up. And does the housework