Spending downsizing cash

I can see why you’d be worried OP, but I think it’ll be OK. She’s having some fun in her later years, but she’s also adding value to the flat. So if she does need to spend her final years in a care home, she’ll have a more valuable asset to fund it than she would otherwise have had. If she doesn’t end up in a care home, presumably she can live on the pension if the lump sum runs out.

I am another one for team spend it. If she does require care. They will spend every single penny she has saved up to 23k. She may as well spend it on what she wants.
I would just advise her to make her current property accessible, so she can stay there as long as possible e.g. walk in shower, hand rails, employ a gardener and a cleaner, ensure garden and front door have no step access, declutter.
It is much better to stay in your own home than go into care, if possible.

OP it sounds so sad to scrimp and save all your life, only to spend all of it on care. Never getting to enjoy any of it.
Especially as you might end up in the same care home as others who chose to prioritise fun and now have everything paid for by the state.

Let her enjoy herself. The flat can be sold if needed she has one life and will never get the time back. I hope she's having a whale of a time!

My parents are in their early 80s and a few years back helped my younger brother out to the tune of £30k. That was practically all their savings but he really needed it. Anyway my brother only has weeks to live and he has told them to take the money out of his very small estate. He has been unemployed for years due to an accident though somehow at some point they decided he was fit for work!
Dm told me they needed it for care home fees in the future. Not sure it will make much difference but its their money. I'd rather they spent it on themselves or new carpets (they have had the same ones for 40 years).

She might never need a care home. My parents both died young - my mum never got to spend and never had anything - she’s enjoying it let her. When she dies you’ll be sad she didn’t use it to enjoy herself.

You can't just put it in a trust. LAs would still come after the money.

With the loss of her husband, she’s undoubtedly feeling that life is short so she may as well enjoy it while she can. For her, that means making her new home lovely to live in. I get your concerns, but only she can make the decision to save for care or not.

If I may say, OP, your Mum finally got to some freedom and joy. At 87, wow! Leave her to it.
Hearing about your Mum gives me hope I will be able to do similarly one day, I'm "only" 44. 😊

Families do not have to pay for care unless there's something gone on in the past where the person needing care has given all their money or assets away to their kids. If someone runs out of money to pay for care then the local authority pay. They may not be be able to stay in the same care home but they will get their care paid for.

Hmmm my best friend is going through an awful time atm with care for her dad so i would share your anxiety. She has basically been told that the nhs won’t cover his care, and once the families savings are rinsed, it’s on them. So it may fall onto you. I never had a clue this could happen but it really can!

What are her monthly outgoings against income ignoring the lump sum? My dm downsized 18 months ago. She did spend a good amount doing new bathroom and kitchen for new flat but is now using her lump sum to support her life - she spends nearly £3k a month on carers visiting her in the flat. She also has money to spend on taxis so she can go out. I don’t think she realises how much all the care is costing but it’s a good use of the money. The only thing I did discourage was gifting large sums to my siblings children for houses. I’ve said we can make the gifts out of the estate when she dies (it will be me basically giving up my share I think) because I would rather that then her run out of cash for care and then I feel obliged to cover the costs somehow.

If she has no money left ( or less than £23250 ) then if she did have to go into a care home or have paid carers at home then it would all be paid for like it is for so many who have never been able to save throughout their lives. Like you I would be glad she's having fun with the money but would also think she has some responsibility to save some for future acre needs as the money could bring her some choices over what care home she goes to etc or just being able to afford things that may help to keep her independent like a profiling bed etc. If the money is being spent on walk in showery/ wet room etc then that will benefit her. My own dad keeps his savings just below £23250 !

She is 87 and presumably spends the vast majority of her time in her flat. How lovely she is able to fix it up to have the home of her dreams for this stage of life rather than have to put up with what was there. Redoing my kitchen in 2 homes brought me so much joy and changed how I spent my time within the home.

She has now made the major expenditure and can settle down to using smaller chunks of it.

If she has £75k left and draws that down at £7.5k a year then that lasts another 10 years until she would be 97 which together with any pension may be plenty for someone of that age would be my guess.

You also need to be a bit alert to her being taken advantage of financially. She does sound quite vulnerable. My mum and mil were both targeted in different ways, both through different kinds of ‘doorstepping’. It’s a sad world and it is v difficult to protect a parent from financial abuse while still respecting their autonomy. Fortunately, neither my mum nor my mil used the internet to shop - that is a whole new world for fraudsters targeting lonely and bored old people living alone.

She would get almost the same car was she would paying for it. They will make her sell her home to pay for it if she hasn't got cash. My grandma went into one 5/6yrs ago and they assess your finances. She got the same care as anyone paying in the care home. I would blow it all while I could enjoy the cash. It's not like she's just gone and spent it silly she got her home with a nice chunk and who isn't going to have a holiday if they can. Everything she has would go on her care and if it's not there the gov pay it. My grandma/my mam had to pay a top up amount a month because she had a bigger bedroom but if she had a house and cash it would of all gone within a a few months. They prefer in home care for as long as possible as it's cheaper to pay a carer to go in and help than a care home. She's done the best thing to live in comfort. First thing my grandma did to help reduce money she had was pay for her funeral up front. If it's not done then that would be a great spend for future proofing not saving it as you're suggesting.

She might as well enjoy her money. When my Mum had to go into a dementia care home, we had to sell her home to pay the fees - and the sale went for less than your Mum's home. It has afforded us the choice of care home and a room with an ensuite for her. The residents there that had no assets to sell just didn't get the ensuite.

I wish my Mum had enjoyed her savings as they take it all anyway and burn through it very quickly!

I think its rather selfish thinking to be honest. YABVU your mom is enjoying her life whilst she can and should! You should be happy for her, not worrying if she will ever need care. I have been there and seen first hand how challenging caring for an unwell elderly person can be, but she cared for you youre entire life. Let her enjoy hers. The cost of care i this country can be astronomical, the money your mom has is just a drop in the ocean. If it were me, I'd be right there with her enjoying life and making memories. Complimenting her new kitchen and making sure the rest of her life is filled with nothing but adventures.

Let her spend it. She could wait until she 'needs' it but that day may never come. She should have the comforts now whilst she can enjoy it. She may never need a care home.

My mum worked her socks off to never see a penny of it as she died before she could enjoy it. But I would so love to see her to have been able to enjoy it.

I wish my dad had just spent his money on nice things. He died suddenly but was always watching his pennies. He had saved a decent sum of money in the bank (over £100k) but his home, which he owned, was in a sad state of affairs in that it needed completely gutting. He never dressed well either - on the surface he always looked smart but on closer inspection you’d notice his suite was 40 years old or some thing and had been a while since is saw a cleaners.

he died suddenly and we children inherited his money and home. We sold his home for much less than it would have fetched if he had have kept it nice and renovated kitchen and bathroom etc. so in the end we probably got similar amounts passed down to us but more cash and less bricks and mortar value. He was in his 70s but wasn’t ill or anything. We were worried about longer term care for him as his memory had started showing signs of declining but he was a very independent man.

It’s lovely that his children have been able to see his money and we didn’t have to use it for care homes. But it would have been over to see him spend it and live a nicer lifestyle.

My mum on the other hand has a lovely property, renovates it now and again, keeps it clean, has a cleaner and gardener etc but has almost exhausted her savings. She’s adamant she won’t go into a care home. Who knows? She’s still fairly active although struggles a lot. She has had some lovely holidays but they’ve slowed as she’s aged, but she still gets out and about. She is worried about us not inheriting her home is she has to sell up for care fees but we will cross that bridge if we come to it. She might never need it and pass on her lovely home as it is.

Life is for living.

I work in this area. If a person can’t afford care they get topped up by the local authority. They’ll pay an affordable contribution based on their income.

If they have capital over £23.250 they be expended to self fund it all.

Enjoy the savings I say.

Mind your own business and let her enjoy her money and her time

It’s her money as she sees fit. Regardless of her financial status she will be looked after if she needs to be.
If she was deprived of money by her husband then let her enjoy what she has.

It is not the case that 99% need a care home.

It might be the case that 99% need care at some point, but for example when my dad was dying he went into hospital and died in hospital.

Never went into a care home.

He died of cancer.

It's a difficult one.
But until you've found a loved one sat in their own excitement, totally oblivious in their front room you'd be glad they didn't spend all their money on a cruise.
It takes time ti get assessment in place for state funding and then you don't instantly get 4 carers a day - you have to wait for availability.
And even with money to pay for a lovely care home, once your money runs out , your family either pay or you move to a cheaper place.
With that possible reality I would certainly hope some money was put to one side.
But the some elderly people became quite stubborn, almost like reverting to a toddler- a very badly behaved one .

I wouldn't have believed it had I not seen it myself.

I'm in Team Spend It.

What's she saving for, a motorbike??

IF she needs to go into a care home, her flat would be sold to pay for it. That asset has actually increased in value since she bought it, what with the new kitchen and all.

If she spends all the cash, they'll sell her flat to pay for care. If she doesn't spend all the cash, they'll take it to pay for care and THEN sell her flat to finance it if the cash runs out.

So it's going to run out either way.

If it was a 19 year old yes, worry about the future - a YA's future might involve university or buying a house. But at 87, I say enjoy your life at LONG BLOODY LAST.