Spending downsizing cash

New kitchen, bathroom, carpets, furniture, professional decorating etc. It soon adds up. She wouldn’t have got much change from £40-50k for the kitchen and bathroom alone

in a massive house perhaps but not a flat and I live in London and have had both done.

Personally I'd be telling her to transfer ownership of the flat into a trust so that it doesn't get taken with care fees (that may or may not be needed).

DO NOT DO THIS. This is unbelievably bad advice. It’s deliberate deprivation of assets. The money can still be claimed to pay for care, and your mum would lose the amount spent on the trust to a lawyer who would have to be extremely dodgy to agree to do this. Why tf would you advise anyone to do this, you are clearly clueless.

OP, as long as your mum’s flat is valued at least enough to fund 2 or 3 years’ care, whatever is required in your area, then she can spend all her money without losing out from a care perspective.

Mostly on the flat - new kitchen, bathroom, carpets, furniture, professional decorating etc

Is the flat future proofed for her? I.e. is it ground floor, does the building have a lift, is the bathroom a wet room with special non slip lino?

If not, I agree she’s wasted an opportunity with the cash.

I think the subtext under a lot of the posts berating you OP is that ultimately a lot of these posters see you as back up care for your mother.

I think you need to be clear to your mum that she can’t move in with you and you can’t be her full time carer so she needs to consider that when managing her finances.

This is not correct.

Family’s aren’t responsible financially for their parents care needs

Care homes aren’t inevitable. Sadly mine and my DH’s elderly relatives all died quite quickly with support from relatives and hospice care while they stayed at home.

Let your mum spend her money and have fun.

‘Totally attainable for many” makes an assumption that I am a single person household with paid off mortgage and that I go from being employed FT straight to the care home at the age of 68 which will allow me to spend my pension directly on care home fees.
Where is my partner supposed to go? How am I supposed to save £720 if I spend my salary paying off the mortgage and have to live on my pension between the ages of 68 and 80. Where is that £270k supposed to come from?

Let her enjoy herself. My 87 year old mother is waiting for urgent, life saving surgery. Without it she's got 9 months tops. I'm glad she's spent the last 25 years enjoying herself and cruising! She could drop dead at any time at present.

Let your mother enjoy herself.

What do you mean 'more free money? She has spent a lot in a year but it doesn't sound as if the money has been squandered but spent sensibly on a holiday and refurbishing her home.

Plan for the worst, hope for the best. I am right in the middle of an elderly relative having to make really tough decisions on finances and care and it's really hard on her. She wants to be in her own home with 24 hour care but realistically she needs to sell her house to afford care. It's a very difficult conversation and it would have been better to have had it 10 years ago.

Your mum is entitled to do what she wants with her money but you can help her understand the consequences of her decisions before it becomes a crisis situation. I would recommend setting up a LPOA ASAP (bitter experience). At older ages things can change in an instant.

Slightly concerned that you'll be left looking after her...wow do you realise how awful you make that sound.

The OP doesn’t sound awful, not everyone can be safely looked after by a relative, things aren’t as simple as that.

Slightly concerned that you'll be left looking after her...wow do you realise how awful you make that sound. I would have given anything to be able to take care of my mum but had that chance cruelly taken away from me by my own sister. My mum was 60 when she passed away after being dumped in a care home by my sister which I wasn't even aware of till I got a phone call 3 days after being put in there saying she had died
Let her enjoy the time she has left

She has the flat to cover care costs. As long as her pension is covering day to day living incase the savings are depleted.

You should bear in mind that not everyone will require care and out of those who do it is more often than not for just a few months.

I think there is no reason to intervene if she is in a good mental state and not being taken advantage of by trades people etc.

It is a real positive that she seems to be enjoying this time. Many 87 year olds would not have the motivation to improve their home to such an extent!

New kitchen, bathroom, carpets, furniture, professional decorating etc. It soon adds up. She wouldn’t have got much change from £40-50k for the kitchen and bathroom alone.

Well done you! Too many people think the opposite!
Dont panic, you will not be expected to pay for her care. If she had to go into care tomorrow, she should have enough savings left to pay for at least a year from what you say. Then depending on the value of her flat, she’ll have longer. Her flat could be rented out until her savings have gone - that would make more sense as it should increase in value (plus generate some income from renting it out).

Good care home cost average £4K a month, that is £720k in 15 years. Consider the pension (let’s say £1.5k a month) this is £450. Consider the sale of the house after taxes, depending where you live you might not even need any top up meaning you can spend any savings you want. Again we are talking about people who are relatively well off (good pension and one property) but not very rich at all. Totally attenable by many.

YABU. She is 87, always had someone control her choices, especially the generation she is from. Let her spend it all if she wishes. She has downsized and made her home comfortable. She isn't down the casino. She has all her faculties. Leave her to have as much enjoyment as she can. A Lot of people don't bother making their homes nicer or more comfortable at her age and just wait for decline. What you have described sounds Marvellous. Good on her. An expensive holiday, wish I reach 87 and do exactly as she has done. When I started reading your post I was worried she had bailed out younger relatives or something else. But she hasn't. Spent it on her home and a holiday! Great! And in the future you can look back on this time and know your mum really enjoyed a comfortable time at home and on holiday. She still has half left. Now if she started re doing the whole flat again, then I would be concerned.

I have POA for a 90 year old relative. Yes care homes are expensive but it isn't all gloom and doom. My relative has been in the home, not a cheap one it is more than £4k a month. She has her state pension, her works pension which is small, half of her late husbands works pension and she gets extra because of his SERPs add to that attendance allowance which you can claim if you are paying your own fees. To top that up we have an IFA who looks after the money from the sale of her house. He has calculated she would have to live to 120 for the money to run out. She didn't own a mansion, a 3 bed house in a midlands city.

£75k on decorating and one holiday is a hell of an amount. She’s not being ripped off is she? I had a whole floor added to my house for less than that.

Care homes cost more than I earn in a year. I highly doubt it is realistic for most people to save approximately a million quid by the age of 80, especially after retirement. Good plan, but completely unattainable

Because a few have given "advice" that is poor - and I always work on the 'what you say on here is read by a wide variety of people' principle!

It’s not age related.

basically you cannot give away money to intentionally avoid care costs.

so a fit, healthy 70 year old living independently with no expectation of needing future care, can give away or spend what they want and there is no deprivation of assets.

a 70 year old who is increasingly frail, sells her home and moves in with her daughter as she is struggling to cope alone, giving her daughter the proceeds of the house sale. At this point is is reasonable to think that this lady will need care to some extent, whether that’s in home care or nursing home. That is deprivation of assets and the LA will come after the house sale funds to pay for her care.

it also applies if she deliberately spends it, say she pays for an extension on her daughters home.

Check the monthly cost of a good care home. From when you are 80 keep 15 years of savings to cover it. Any year you are not there you can spend the yearly sum. Till there you need to save. So no stop spending anymore but be careful. This is if you want to be taken care in a good care home or do not weight on your kids. Otherwise you can just keep on splashing on holidays new cars new clothes and new furniture. of course if you have that money to start with, but we are talking about spending in “fun” or savings so we assume the person has money

Thanks @VickyEadieofThigh. It sounds like the OP's mum isn't even in the ball park of being guilty of depravation of assets, so what are all the posters warning about this going on about?