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AIBU?

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Original poster

First date AIBU?

83 replies

Thalia31 · 22/02/2024 21:58

So I haven't been dated since 2009, as I'm recently separated I'm in my 30’s.

I met a guy online and for our first date he gave me a choice of three activities.

  1. Axe throwing
  2. Archery
  3. Batting cage

I said I didn't find them first-date material, I said I would like to do something where we can talk and get to know each other a bit better he then suggested badminton. I do enjoy the outdoors but I found the choices strange, I ultimately declined AIBU is this a normal first date suggestion.

OP posts:
usernother · 22/02/2024 22:59

I wouldn't consider the first meeting with anyone from OLD to be a date. I'd always suggest a time limited coffee. Just to be on the safe side. That said, his suggestions do sound fun.

MyFirstLittlePony · 22/02/2024 22:55

Oh I'd be up for all of that 🤣 much more fun than a contrived supposedly romantic dinner date

Ladybyrd · 22/02/2024 22:52

JMSA · 22/02/2024 22:17

God, I can think of nothing worse. Plus, it's all a bit controlling.

You make the reasonable suggestion of a more relaxed 'getting to know you' date, and he comes up with badminton.

Fuck that, really.

Quite.

ThisHonestQuail · 22/02/2024 22:49

StringTheory1 · 22/02/2024 22:43

I’d be put off by any bloke who gave me a drop-down list of 3 pre-approved (by him) items from which I was to choose. It’s bizarrely one-sided, and smacks of someone who doesn’t grasp equal collaboration and discourse.

He’d be immediately in the bin for that kind of shit, regardless of what the date activity suggestions were.

I feel like it’s normal to suggest dates you enjoy, no? And it’s not like OP has any better ideas!

Firefly1987 · 22/02/2024 22:48

I'm surprised he didn't mention a gun range...wouldn't be my thing at all but then I'm not the most "adventurous" type. I only heard about axe throwing a couple weeks ago on the news. If not for that I would've thought he was joking about taking you axe throwing! If you're into that stuff great, if not it sounds like a non-starter.

ThisHonestQuail · 22/02/2024 22:44

Those are all really great first date ideas I think! Although I can appreciate some people prefer more low key “get to know you” coffee type dates.

2chocolateoranges · 22/02/2024 22:44

I think they sound like a fun first date.

either Eve throwing or archery sounds a good date to have fun, chat and have a laugh.

StringTheory1 · 22/02/2024 22:43

I’d be put off by any bloke who gave me a drop-down list of 3 pre-approved (by him) items from which I was to choose. It’s bizarrely one-sided, and smacks of someone who doesn’t grasp equal collaboration and discourse.

He’d be immediately in the bin for that kind of shit, regardless of what the date activity suggestions were.

Toddlerteaplease · 22/02/2024 22:40

I would love to go Axe throwing. Send him
My way!

PickledPurplePickle · 22/02/2024 22:35

They sound like fun ideas - badminton of the other hand, nope

AfterTheWatershed · 22/02/2024 22:28

Not on a first date. I personally only ever meet for a coffee on a first date, at lunchtime on a working day so it’s time limited. You know after the first few minutes if it has potential.

LizFromMotherland · 22/02/2024 22:26

StopTheBusINeedAWeeWeeAWeeWeeBagOChips · 22/02/2024 22:01

They are a bit 'out there' but the woman for him will be the one who leaps at the chance to do something like that on a first meeting.

That's not you, so you weren't wrong to decline.

Yes, totally agree with this.

ChihuahuasREvil · 22/02/2024 22:24

I’d quite fancy the archery. Unusual first date material though for sure, mind you me and my OH had a romantic stroll around the graveyard, so…

TheCadoganArms · 22/02/2024 22:21

StarDolphins · 22/02/2024 22:19

Good grief, NO! Axe throwing🤣 I like a unique person too but these are just too much!

More of a spear chucking kind of girl are we?

StarDolphins · 22/02/2024 22:19

Good grief, NO! Axe throwing🤣 I like a unique person too but these are just too much!

JMSA · 22/02/2024 22:17

God, I can think of nothing worse. Plus, it's all a bit controlling.

You make the reasonable suggestion of a more relaxed 'getting to know you' date, and he comes up with badminton.

Fuck that, really.

Thisseatisnotavailable · 22/02/2024 22:17

Archery is great fun, and I'd love to try axe throwing. Not so much batting cages or badminton though, don't think I'd want to get all sweaty and red faced on a first date.

But if they're not for you then YANBU as you are clearly not compatible so you've saved yourself some time.

Cicciabella · 22/02/2024 22:14

Oh do go! Having been on so many funking dull dates / this would be one to remember !!

Guavafish1 · 22/02/2024 22:11

sounds like fun

TunnocksOrDeath · 22/02/2024 22:11

Please don't go on a countryside walk or anything else without other folks around if you've never met in person before. I think these ideas sound quite thoughtful in that they're active and fun, but clearly in a setting with other people there, so you won't be alone together. But if they don't sound like your idea of fun, then you're right not to pretend.

WaltzingWaters · 22/02/2024 22:10

I think they sound really fun. A good distraction, gives you something to laugh about, chat about etc. and if it’s going well you can go for a drink/food after to laugh about how silly you looked.
But that’s not for you up and that’s fine. Hopefully you’ll both find someone better suited.

Ladybyrd · 22/02/2024 22:08

Having been on a bazzillion first dates, can I recommend a noncommittal cup of tea or coffee? Yes, it's rather uninspired but in my experience a pre-date date was a good way of weeding out the wheat from the chaff without investing too much.

Having said that, from those activities I think I'd conclude that he wasn't for me. He sounds a bit OTT (for me).

C1N1C · 22/02/2024 22:06

There are two sides to this. He's probably trying to sound fun and exciting, you're just wanting to get to know him.

But conversely, there will be some women who hate the idea of a coffee or park walk because it is cliché and/or doesn't show much effort.

Each to their own :)

The best part with this is that if a guy 'asks' for suggestions, he'd probably be slammed for not being decisive or 'manly' enough, and many on MN would be completely turned off, claiming he needs mothering or some rubbish.

skippy67 · 22/02/2024 22:06

I'd love any of those as a first date! Presumably, you'd be going for a drink or something afterwards, so you can talk then.

JacquesHarlow · 22/02/2024 22:05

The problem undoubtedly is that dating platforms have plenty of women who want to be “wowed” and “entertained” on their first date. So he’s picking things that are endorphin and Adrenalin inducing , great for Instagram, but you’re not necessarily going to get to know the person

i agree with you OP. Dinner or drinks, or a coffee, and you actually get to know the person in front of you.

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