WIBU about playdate cancellation?

You do realise you were 2nd choice as someone better dropped out.
So ti cancel the play date would make that child 2nd choice.
Flaky.
Stick with the play date a teach your child how to stick with commitments

I’d re-arrange the play date unless it was a particularly special one. I’ve got kids coming in and out of houses all the time. I wouldn’t be bothered if someone wanted to shift a play date by a few hours or another day over the weekend.

I think the update about it being a girls only party and the play date being with a boy child is probably relevant as well. They’ll have all be talking and planning the party all week in school so that will be why she wants to go as she’s probably go major fomo.

If I were the play date family I would absolutely not be offended if I had a message like "Child has now been invited to a birthday party on Saturday at X time, any chance we could meet slightly earlier/later for the play date?". Like, they're 8. It's fine for them to have other friends, and want to go to a party rather than the playground. I wouldn't hold it against them as bad manners, that would be OTT and weird. Chill out?

Yes but sadly that invitation came after 🤷🏻‍♀️

Apart from parties!

Of course it’s an event! It’s about the most exciting thing that happens to children that age.

With that attitude he won't be a popular parent.

You never ditch an arrangement for a 'better offer'

It’s basic bad manners to upgrade to a more enticing subsequent invitation.

Thats not to say it’s not sometimes tempting, but, unless it’s a funeral or emergency, there’s no dressing it up as the correct thing to do and you’d be teaching DD bad form.

Personally I’d decline and say why: your problem will be solved if they offer to invite the play date pal.

This.

All the other responses are a bit bonkers. A playdate can be easily rearranged for a different time/date.

Sometimes it is a bit of an "event". My DSD6s best friend from school has a younger brother and sister (age 2&3), so sometimes arranging playdates with her can be a challenge as her mum has to arrange childcare for the other 2 depending on what we're doing. The little girl also goes to her dad's EOWE so trying to get weekends they're both available can be tricky. DSD has regular play dates with other friends but she does get excited when we arrange a playdate with her bestie from school. She would be really disappointed is this was cancelled last minute in favour of another kids party that she wasn't invited to.

i was using the term to make a comparison.

Basically - you've made plans already, cancelling them because you got a better offer so close to the date is plain rude.

Honour your original plans. Who sends party invitations out a few days before the event? Makes me think that your DD was only an afterthought because someone else dropped out.

I would see if the playdate time could be slightly adjusted to allow DD to do both,but if not, then I would crack on with the play date. It clearly is a back-up invite.

“Event”! For goodness sake. It’s a kid coming round to play. If your kid is having others round to play so infrequently that each visit is an “event” something is very wrong indeed..

Would you be ok with a friend of your ditching you 2 days before an event you'd arranged because they received a better offer?

Stick to the play date.

How would you feel if the situation was reversed?
I would stick to the original plan.
It's rude to cancel because a better offer came along.

It’s not last minute cancellation of a wedding acceptance. It’s 3 days ‘ notice that a kid won’t be coming round to play after all.

If they cared about people showing up surely they’d send invites earlier?

Gosh what a weird post.

how can you not comprehend it’s rude to arrange something with someone and then to cancel last minute for a better offer?

4 days notice isn't exactly last minute. And playmate can be moved, different time, different day.

Not every child has parties every year. Its quite sad if parents have organised a party and hardly anyone turns up.

Stick with the play date, imagine how disappointed the play date child will be. I’ve had it happen to my children being let down last minute and it’s not nice.

I agree. DH can explain it to her if the playdate family aren't free next weekend. Bit of a weird thing for him to do.

A friend of my nephew did this a while back, play date arranged etc and then he couldn't make it. He randomly brings it up to my nephew... He phrases it as he was invited to the house then uninvited! It's irritating haha.

OMG all this hand wringing over a kid going round to someone’s house to play! When did “play dates” become something akin to an invitation to tea with the King?

I’d just tell the play date family the truth, including perhaps a wry smile at your DD clearly being on the reserve list but acknowledging that she really wants to do the activity that the birthday girl is hosting. In their position I’d be more than happy to rearrange. Even easier now we know that the play date child hasn’t missed out on a party invitation himself as it’s all girls.

When I was a kid we just called round at each other’s houses to play when we felt like it. Went home for tea if not invited to stay. My parents would have pissed themselves at all this etiquette bullshit.

Yes, I’d do this. Just be honest, radical I know!