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Original poster

Help with packed lunches

111 replies

CantMeatWontEat · 22/02/2024 16:28

I know it's not a real AIBU, but I am struggling.

DD12 is vegetarian (only in last 9 months) and I am struggling with packed lunches.

I'm divorced. 50/50 split. DC have school meals one day a week. This effectively means I only have to make packed lunches on two days of the week. Please don't suggest more school meals. This is the agreement with XH, daily school meals aren't in my budget, and she would probably just eat chips.

XH gives her hummus and bread whenever he does a packed lunch. So I don't want to repeat that.

She was having "chicken" wraps with Quorn nuggets in the wrap a lot (because she liked them) but became bored.

She doesn't like anything with seeds in (crackers, bread), egg mayo, shortcrust pastry (if I make quiche, the pastry is always left).

She does like crisps, crackers (fairly plain ones), cheese, olives, reasonable range of veg and all manner of sugary junk.

Is funny about bread. Sometimes loves it, sometimes hates it. Not a fan of sandwiches (hence the wraps).

I'm currently mainly doing crackers and bits but worried she will get bored. Sent a hard boiled egg today as a variation on the bits, but it has come home uneaten. Apparently, the last time I sent an egg, someone commented on it so she didn't eat it today because she doesn't want people to think she's "weird".

Now she's upset because she thinks I'm upset she didn't eat her egg.

She has some mental health struggles, and is waiting for an assessment to see what we do next to help her. She gets quite paranoid, so anything that she thinks makes her look different is a big no.

I work full-time and usually cook from scratch. Sometimes we have pizza and she takes leftovers the next day. I really don't feel like I have the time to also be making/baking other types of lunch. Especially as DS is a confirmed carnivore and complains about anything that doesn't have meat in.

Sometimes DD takes a vegetarian sausage roll, but they're expensive and she never finishes them so I'm not convinced she likes them.

I am desperate for more ideas!

I do sometimes pick up falafel if it's on offer.

Have tried leftover pasta in a flask in the past but she complains it doesn't stay hot until lunch.

Does anyone have any easy, affordable suggestions?

Thank you for reading my essay!

OP posts:
Original poster
CantMeatWontEat · 23/02/2024 08:43

Thanks @Beamur that's reassuring. I'm worried that if she finally tired if something, there won't be anything to move on to. But I realise that's a bit ridiculous and we're bound to find something.

Lots of people have suggested cookbooks. We do have vegetarian cookbooks and she has expressed an interest in cooking some meals herself, so I got her a book aimed at students with quite easy instructions - but then just doesn't look at them. I know I have to make time to go through them with her or it will never happen.

Will also try Quorn cocktail sausages if I can freeze them. So far we've only found one brand of veggie sausage that she likes and it's one of the most expensive (of course!)

Reading all the suggestions has also highlighted to me just how complicated food is for her. I wouldn't call her a fussy eater because she'll try most things, but if she doesn't like something once then that's it. It must sound really fussy to other people, although she actually enjoys quite a wide range of flavours/cuisines.

We never have pesto at home because DS has a tree nut allergy. Not sure if other people are aware, but most pesto in jars is made with cashews rather than/in addition to pine nuts. That's why some schools don't allow it (wish our primary hadn't, used to feel really stressed when one of DS's friends had it a lot). However, asked DD this morning if she would try it and apparently she sometimes has pesto pasta at school when the chips have run out (!) so I will have a look for one that's safe for us to have in the house.

OP posts:
SweatpantPotato · 23/02/2024 04:05

Why don't you get a cookbook with lots of vegetarian lunches and have her pick out some recipes for you to make together?

If she likes the bento box style with little bits you could take her to the store to pick out a variety of things.

If she likes wraps maybe look up vegetarian wrap ideas.

Grain bowls with toppi gs and dressing of her choice? Lots of ideas for this online

soundsys · 23/02/2024 00:25

Pasta salad? Mine will eat pasta with pesto and broccoli cold.

Frittata? I know that still egg but it's not smelly like a hard-boiled egg is

aaahshoot · 23/02/2024 00:19

Cheese scones. Make a batch and freeze.

Beamur · 22/02/2024 23:43

OP - my DD finds choosing food extremely stressful and has a limited palette of food (also vegetarian until recently!) So I hear you! (She's 16 and I still make her packed lunch most days - she started college intending on making her own but didn't last a week before it became overwhelming).
At primary school she ate 2 kind of sandwich (soft cheese or hummus) but doesn't actually like sandwiches so it was generally a rotation of a kind of carb (crackers, bagel, pitta, etc) protein (babybel, parmesan, hummus or soft cheese in a tub, occasionally a veggie sausage, plus raw carrot and occasionally cucumber. Daily for 6 years with very little variations. Same through high school with the addition of chicken! No pastry, no mayo, no fish, no egg, no other kinds of cheese, no ham, no spreads or condiments of any kind. Absolutely no cold pasta or rice. Preferably no crisps. The recipe changed for her preferred sausage so no to that too now. She's remarkably healthy - never ill and a good weight. Totally unfazed by a fairly monotonous diet.

ToriTheStoryteller · 22/02/2024 22:48

I got to this point with (ND) DS where I was trying so hard to come up with lunches that were interesting, nutritious, filling, etc etc. In the end I let it go and decided if he wanted to go through a phase of ham sandwich every day for a month then it was fine because a) there would be a new favourite the next month and b) it's 5 meals a week out of 21. The other 16 can be varied instead.
So now I make whatever his sandwich of the month is + fruit + he can choose things from the freezer like cocktail sausages, samosas, veg spring rolls, cake, flapjack. So it's easy for me and he still gets a bit of variation by choosing something to go with it (but he doesn't get overwhelmed by the choice as he's only having to decide on a couple of side snacks.)

JMSA · 22/02/2024 22:33

Cheese toastie?

JMSA · 22/02/2024 22:31

Cheese twists?

JMSA · 22/02/2024 22:30

Pesto pasta is better cold than hot.

mollyfolk · 22/02/2024 22:09

You need to fill the flask with hot water first. (And have a good flash)

i have sat down with my kids and wrote up a lunch plan - 5 lunches they will eat.

newyearnewnothing · 22/02/2024 22:06

Greek salad
Frittatas
Veg fritters and dips
Egg & avocado wrap
Soups
Noodles
Pasta hot/ cold
Cous cous
Dhal
Burritos

dcadmamagain · 22/02/2024 21:21

Homemade flapjacks

homemade carrot or banana cake

Pickles2023 · 22/02/2024 21:17

I have:

Mozerella, pesto and basil wraps

Frittata

A brown rice salad with cubes of feta cheese, sundried tomatos and Mediterranean veg (i use to buy a frozen bag of the veg so just used it when i made this as i don't like aubergine in anything else)

Goats cheese and walnut salad (i had a little pot for the dressing to be seperate) then a slice of a buttered crusty baguette.
You can get quite inventive with salads, adding cous cous, or orzo, cashews, figs ect. I use to just bung in any thing i fancied.

I use to cook veggie frankfurter sausages and eat them cold as a snack like a pepperami 😂😂 but that might be odd for most people.

One easy dip i make for crackers or carrot sticks. Is mashing an avocado with cream cheese. It is really lovely, doubles up as a spread for bagel haha

Also you can eat tofu cold, in a wrap with carrots, rocket and chilli jam goes amazing.

Also grated carrot with rocket and hummus as a wrap or pitta bread filling is yum.

I do have left over pasta alot..i don't mind it cold though. I think of it as a pasta salad.

Potatoe salad is nice to go as a side.

succulentlove · 22/02/2024 21:16

Would you have the time to make big batches of broccoli tots, savoury muffins, cheese scones etc and defrost overnight?
Also maybe frozen vegetarian (chive etc.) dumplings that can be microwaved or pan fried from frozen?
Halloumi bites?

DoIHaveToBeAnAdult · 22/02/2024 21:12

Bread sticks with a dip?

DoIHaveToBeAnAdult · 22/02/2024 21:11

My kids like to take rice cakes with butter.

My eldest likes the same food every day: 3 buttered rice cakes, a small piece of cheese, a jelly pot or peach pot, cucumber, sweetcorn and a handful of crisps.

DinnaeFashYersel · 22/02/2024 21:07

Pasta salad
Couscous
Rice salad
Veggie sausage roll
Quiche

snoopyfanaccountant · 22/02/2024 21:05

DD2 (20) is ND and is currently on a year out from uni (where she is on a prestigious course) due to mental health issues. She can't cope with restaurant menus unless there are only a few items on it so food is an issue for us When DH and I go on holiday, I leave meals in the freezer for her to reheat as well as ingredients in the cupboard, fridge and freezer that she can use to make a meal. She has never been a great meat eater and her go-to lunch is couscous with some ground cinnamon, chickpeas, chopped pepper and dried fruit; she makes several days' worth and might add falafels if there are any in the fridge..

snoopyfanaccountant · 22/02/2024 20:58

BobbyBiscuits · 22/02/2024 18:22

@MumMumMumMumMumMumMum I think this is bang on. Kids in secondary school should be able to construct their own lunches. Of course buy the stuff she wants. When I was 14 my mum just gave me a budget to buy my own food to eat / cook for the whole week. She bought her own food only. When it's gone, it's gone, lol. Bit extreme at 12 but sometimes less is more when guiding teens around food.

OP states that her DD has mental health issues and can't cope with making decisions.
DD2 (20) is ND and is currently on a year out from uni (where she is on a prestigious course) due to mental health issues. She can't cope with restaurant menus unless there are only a few items on it.; she wouldn't cope with being left to sort out all her own food. When DH and I go on holiday, I leave meals in the freezer for her to reheat as well as ingredients in the cupboard, fridge and freezer that she can use to make a meal. She has never been a great meat eater and her go-to lunch is couscous with some ground cinnamon, chickpeas, chopped pepper and dried fruit.

Original poster
CantMeatWontEat · 22/02/2024 20:32

@Jook Ha ha, fair enough on the egg being weird! I was a bit worried about smell, but at least it's natural and protein. Anyway, I'll avoid egg for now.

Cream cheese is a good option, she likes that.

Quite a few people have mentioned couscous. She'll eat it with a tagine/stew but I'm not sure about a couscous salad. Texture might be an issue if it's not effectively hidden under a sauce.

I am making a note of everything that might work. Can't comment about every single thing she won't like for texture or some other reason that doesn't make sense to anyone else, because I'd sound really negative!

But even if I only come away with 4-5 things that make it into the regular lunch menu then that will be great.

OP posts:
5128gap · 22/02/2024 19:32

Could you not Google some ideas for vegetarian lunches together with DD and get her to choose? If she intends to follow a restricted diet (I'm vegan, so that's not a negative to me!) then it's really important that she learns about food in a proactive way as early as possible so getting all her nutrients from her restricted diet becomes second nature. Young vegetarians, if their choice is ethics based, often move on to veganism, and its all the more important then.
If she eats hot food in a flask, would she eat curry, chilli, pasta etc?

Jook · 22/02/2024 19:29

Mozzarella balls, cherry tomatoes, pine nuts and some basil
Couscous with lemon, mint, cucumber and feta
Cottage cheese (I used to have the one with pineapple) and a crunchy salad
Cream crackers buttered and sandwiched with a mild cheese (Red Leicester for me) with a salad and olives
Philadelphia mixed with some cucumber and black pepper, with breadsticks
Yoghurts obvs
Bananas (with a little pot of Nutella?!)

I’d invest in some different little pots and containers for salads and couscous etc so it feels sort of trendy for her but also more appealing.

I know I’m a bit odd but used to avoid anything that might make me breath conscious or stink the place out, so my ideas are a bit tame! I would also find a boiled egg weird (sorry OP). Someone brought one in to our staff room once and I had to go out, the smell was too much for me 😂

FairFuming · 22/02/2024 19:27

I went Veggy when I was 11, it's been over 20 years now and there's loads of Facebook groups with cheap and easy recipes that might be worth a look.

Left over pasta tossed with some pesto, mayo and chopped veg is so easy and lovely, can grate some cheese in too.

Couscous is super cheap, roast some veg with supper the night before and chuck them in the couscous and with a little seasoning and that's a really cheap lunch.

Veggy sticks/toasted wraps/pitta bread with home made taziki or yogurt dip (loads of easy recipes online)
Aldi does some really lovely and reasonably priced Veggy food now too.

Avocado, mozzarella or Hallumi, salsa or sweet chilli and some cucumber/lettice in a pitta or wrap is a fave of mine too.

Original poster
CantMeatWontEat · 22/02/2024 19:23

Thank you so much for all the suggestions so far.

We had macaroni cheese last night, so we're going to try leftovers in a flask for tomorrow. Depending on feedback on temperature and whether it's something she'd be happy with regularly, I might buy one of the other flasks recommended.

I think getting her to help make some of the other ideas like muffins, crustless quiche, and homemade veggie sausage rolls is also a good idea. That way she can be involved with prep at the weekend when we're not under pressure.

I am totally in favour of independence in DC. DS was a very competent cook at the same age. But DD is a different child, with a different personality, different challenges and different needs. I think I'm quite imaginative when it comes to food, but have been struggling for ideas (or perhaps was hoping not to have to do more cooking, because I enjoy it but it feels endless sometimes).

I am very happy for all the people who can't relate and think I'm too soft or overthinking things. It is really difficult and distressing to see your child struggle with something that sounds so simple. I'm happy for you that you don't know what that's like.

Any further suggestions will continue to be very gratefully received.

OP posts:
CalamityA · 22/02/2024 19:21

We use Stanley flasks. They are expensive but the food is still piping hot at lunch.

I heat a packet of flavoured rice in the morning and tip it into the preheated flask. My kids love it.

I also air fry garlic bread slices and put those in the packed lunch with a pot of salad and one of fruit.