Inheritance vs working hard and never getting anywhere

Exactly. I lost all my grandparents but they left nothing really (in one case due to care home fees, in the other because my uncle swindled them out of most of the value of their house)

It's not just people with inheritances that suffer loss

I think this is going to get worse and worse. Salary is increasingly irrelevant to lifestyle. So many people I know have inherited or been gifted lottery win levels of money. And my friendship group is fairly ordinary, its just that we live in the south east. I have the most high powered job but most of my friends don't have mortgages to pay /have inherited properties they rent out for extra income.

The divergence will create really fractions and unrest in society I think soon.

Everyone dies, not everyone leaves money behind... you're luckier than if they'd died without a penny to their names.

Being lucky to get an inheritance is just that, its luck your parent owned a property to sell when they passed on. I don't know anyone who feels lucky to lose that parent or anyone who would say another person was lucky to loose that parent. Its usually always heartbreaking to experience this loss, especially a sudden harrowing loss out the blue.

I get what your saying but…
myself and my husband have both received inheritances. Mine was from grandparents and my husband’s was from his dad who passed away suddenly in a RTC. We would give any thing to have him back with us, I’d trade the money back and would rather be broke for the rest of my life then keep living in the nightmare that we have because of that accident. We don’t feel ourselves to be lucky at all. One of those situations that money doesn’t bring happiness.
your friends shouldn’t be making comments about your house tho!

Inheritance perpetuates inequality. In real life you'd never eliminate it (you'd get people gifting it/tying it up in trusts) but Inheritance tax ought to be higher and trusts/work-arounds clamped down on.

I say this as someone likely to inherit a shitload, with one DC who will inherit loads too. I'm not going to say no to it, or refuse to help my beloved DS, but if it was legally the norm not to Inherit much, society would be far more equal.

I do understand this. I have a friend who’s never wanted to better herself but expects her husbands to be high flying. With two separations behind her and nearly £1000 on maintenance a month she frequently brags about a lifestyle which includes parents paying her mortgage and topping up her income a month It’s frustrating.

I think most people are in your position, and it’s just unusual that you’ve got so many friends who’ve been given multiple £100k+ handouts. Most people do not have that, nor can they afford to give up work, nor can they afford character properties in the country.

So you are comparing yourself to people who are not the norm.

I expect I’d be envious if I was surrounded by millionaires, too!

By the average person’s standard you’re doing absolutely fine.

Yes I agree your friends sound horrible . I would never comment on a friend’s house even if I thought it was awful.
When I got a small inheritance I didn’t tell my friends as it’s none of their business and I’m not a show off.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

I can understand how it’s making you feel, but as you say, life is not fair. Much of it is a result of our choices along the way, however so much is just luck and chance.

I think you either need to find a way not to be jealous or change your social circle

The way I look at it, everything I have, I'VE worked hard for. I don't owe anyone anything 🤷‍♀️

My brother has had everything handed on a plate, I had nothing as my parents didn't want a girl - but you know what? I'm absolutely glad about it.

I just live life for ME.

Childcare is a lot of money but it's not forever plus you get school holidays with your child unlike most.

Stop comparing yourself to others - it'll make you bitter.

Meh. No point in comparing. I live in a council flat, my mum was a single parent and her income is less than mine so she can't afford to help me financially. I've accepted that I'll be working until I drop!

Get some better friends, mine certainly don't behave like yours.

I agree with your sentiment. It’s hard when hard work alone isn’t enough. Actually what pisses me off more is that more worthwhile jobs pay less. And I say that as someone who is just leaving the private sector.

your friends sound awful though. Awful. Are there not nicer people
to hang out with?

when I find myself comparing my life badly, I do look at what I have to feel grateful. I have a roof over my head, I am lucky I can run in the woods. I have a car. Best of all, I am able to feel grateful for that

I inherited when my parents passed away. My dad worked 9-5 for a large engineering corporation. Was forced to take early retirement. Had lots of foreign holidays both before and after retirement. Sensible with his money, but ate out regularly. Certainly no scrimping and saving. He had a DB pension. But his wealth was entirely created by buying and selling his homes.

Money doesn't (necessarily ) bring happiness but often it gives you more choices. It doesn't bring back the person that has died or mean you don't miss them or grieve for them but it can make life more comfortable or give you less things to worry about.
It's disingenuous to pretend it doesn't have an effect. Look at all the posts where people feel stressed and overworked with working ft when they have small children and the overwhelming response on MN is always "outsource as much as you can" ...which is usually only possible with spare cash - whether that's earned or inherited.

''Remember, money doesn't bring happiness.''

And neither does working the massive and relentless hours teaching requires. Life changing money would much more likely lead to happiness than your typical under paid job these days.

yea but you still got the inheritance many others don't. Don't act like it meant nothing or that it wasn't a big help to you. You still got a privilege many don't. There is a rush here for people to try and act like getting it meant nothing, easy to say when you got it.

Life is unfair. I completely understand where you’re coming from because I pursued a meaningful (= limited financial value) career too.

Given my time over again, I wouldn’t have. Young people are idealistic while making lifetime career decisions and while I’ve been able to effect change and do a lot of good, it’s been at my own expense.

It’s all just an accident of birth most of the time, it’s easy to resent it.

@Silverbirch7

I can't believe you are whining about paying IHT on a massive sum of money that you are being given without having to lift a finger for. You haven't lost out on anything, you are still quids in. There have been posts on this site who about being in extreme poverty, are penniless, cold and hungry. These people are working and still can't survive and here you are whinging on. Sickening.

My God, such ungrateful and entitled drivel.

Ok so you got your mortgage paid through an inheritance...so please explain to me now how that didn't benefit you or make your life easier?

If it wasn't going to make your life any easier as you proclaim then why didn't you give it to the dogs home?

Admit it, your life WAS made easier by the inheritance, don't undermine that here.

From personal experience I'd rather have the loved ones I had than an inheritance. It's not like winning the lottery.

Indeed! It was recently published in the Telegraph that a young person in London at present, on an average salary, would have to save 31 years to afford a deposit on a house!!

Getting an inheritance doesn’t always mean an easier life. I’ve had an inheritance which has paid off my mortgage, but I still have to work my arse off as I still need to pay other bills. For people to be able to pay off mortgages, and also have enough in the bank to live off til retirement, we’re talking about tens of thousands, which probably is rare. There’s a lot of us still working full time, so it’s not common for people to be able to give up work and live off their inheritance. Comparison is the thief of joy. Just live your best life OP.

I earn well over 200k, all of it is from a PAYE job. I paid more income tax last year than Starmer.

If your entire income is PAYE it is impossible to avoid any tax other than by making pension contributions. Even then if you’re a very high earner your allowance is tapered so that avenue is soon closed to you.

you multiply 30p by the 5-7 million tickets sold for your typical draw. Who is laughing then?