Nursery worker telling DD her behaviour…

Yes of course but they don't 'bring them up' just because a parent works it doesn't mean they are not bringing up their children, it's just a snarky thing that some SAHMs say to justify their own choices/life and bring down other women. Bitchy and unnecessary.

There are appropriate ways to discipline children in your professional care. You wouldn't (hopefully) find a teacher using emotionally inappropriate language like this when they're at school.

So no disciplining children in their care?

Doesn't give them the right to act like parents. Professional boundaries.

They’re in loco parentis. Some of them will have more insight into their charges’ behaviour than parents

I’m all for raising girls to be strong, confident women who aren’t socialised to be overly polite but I don’t think reprimanding a key worker for an innocuous comment is the way to go. She’s someone’s beautiful daughter too. (If female).

Instilling strange forms of discipline and speaking to children as if they are the parent. If they have an issue they should speak to the parents and agree a way forward. Not come up with comments like this. Some of them think they are child psychologists.

Gosh - you are extremely fluffy with your "headstrong" child who "didn't show good listening skills"! She was naughty and they gently reprimanded her - I would imagine you let her get away with a lot.

They do play their part in a child’s upbringing. It takes a village and all that.

And what station is that exactly?

No. Nursery workers do not bring up children, how fucking insulting. Most people have to work and if you are lucky enough not to have to then good for you, but shut your trap and don't try to belittle others who may not have a choice.

So we're supposed to tell them not to cry and beat them with a cane?...

I agree with you! This would annoy me. 1. It's a damaging thing to say, if my child's upset then I want her to be able to communicate why she's upset without worrying that she will make me feel sad. 2. How the hell would she know what does and doesn't make me sad?? Who even are you, you don't know me at all. As a parent or otherwise! So don't tell my child this. Cheeky cow. I would be having words with her, Nursery workers get way above their station.

You lost me at headstrong...

It won't hurt her to hear different things. It will be good for her. You can't control everything.

We talk a lot about emotions within our early years setting.

someones feelings are a consequence of actions.

if someone is misbehaving, hitting, unkind words, we talk about how it makes the other person sad or happy depending on the situation.

We aren’t allowed to say that’s bad or naughty so using emotions is a way of talking about consequences. We aren’t even allowed to sing “he knows if you’ve been bad or good “ in the Santa Claus is coming to town in case it offends due to the word bad.

Carry on with this fluffy 'my child is the best in the world and can do no wrong' attitude and I can guarantee it will bite you on the arse. Your 'headstrong' toddler will become a teenager with a massive attitude problem.

Didn't show good listening skills?
Who talks like that?
She didn't listen
She didn't do as she was told
She ignored an adult in charge
Headstrong?
Enough said

Assuming a member of the team relayed this verbatim, YANBU to be fecked off with staff using emotional blackmail in place of meeting her needs or redirecting her. 2 Yr olds aren't known for showing good listening. I'd say its identified a training need and ask for more detail around the way play experiences are structured and managed and is it free flow, what's the approach in place?

It’s not guilt tripping to have a natural reaction and show it.

Mine are past 2 though much closer than your own.

No one is saying two year olds always listen but if asked, no doubt several times to do so, then to continue to ignore their key worker was naughty.

If a two year old screams or hire someone - you expect them to pretend they aren’t upset? That’s dishonest. It’s also going to make your child unaware of their impact on others which is wrong.

We could choose not to be sad but if she’s screamed at someone or hit them then sadness is a natural reaction.

And that is on you to manage - you don't guilt trip a small child.

2 is still a baby imo. If you expect your 2 year old to have emotional maturity then you'll be setting yourself up for future trouble. I've managed to raise adult children who are kind and considerate to those around them - they didn't always listen at 2. I certainly never considered this to be naughty and the nursery my preschooler doesn't either and doesn't emotionally blackmail 2 year olds.

But her behaviour will have a direct effect on people.

We could choose not to be sad but if she’s screamed at someone or hit them then sadness is a natural reaction.

The implication of your post is that she has no responsibility for how others feel as they are choosing to feel that way. That’s not right.

@LittleBearPad we all have a choice about how we react in different situations. Some people may choose to be sad, others frustrated etc.

I agree that kids need to learn that if they are not nice to others, others won't want to play/be with them. But what I don't want her doing things just to please others/avoid displeasing others.