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Original poster

Paranoid about class WhatsApp group

38 replies

Pearbiscuit · 20/02/2024 13:41

There’s a class WhatsApp group for my son’s reception class. It’s only a small class (17 kids).

I am really paranoid, whenever I post anything it doesn’t receive any responses, but as soon as someone else posts something, straight after or about a similar thing, they get replies. Even just the thumbs up or heart acknowledgment on their post, I didn’t even get that.

I’m now thinking is it me that’s the problem or is it my son? He’s got currently undiagnosed SEN (probable ASD/ADHD). He’s not violent or nasty , he’s been invited to all the birthday parties so far. He seems to have friends, so I don’t understand it.
He can be a bit silly and I’ve been spoken to about him disrupting the class at times, during carpet time and so on, but the staff are working on this.

My other thought is that maybe it’s me? I’ve had this happen to me in my life previously, I’ve been ghosted by people I thought were my friends.

I do suffer with anxiety and am waiting for my own ADHD assessment, but I try and be pleasant with everyone and smile/ make some general chat.

Am I being overly paranoid or am I right to feel this way? Even just an acknowledgment like other people seem to get, a thumbs up 👍 on their post. I don’t understand.

OP posts:
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Turtletoe · 21/02/2024 10:09

fatphalange · 20/02/2024 17:33

They are probably just a bunch of cunts, I wouldn't worry about it. I've never been on a class WhatsApp group, couldn't think of anything worse 😂

You are my people! It doesn't stop at the school gates either. I was added to one with people from work around 9 months ago. This chat was started a few years ago, and i have been there 10+years. I am friends with everyone and have heard them talking about it. I left that chat as soon as i saw i was added. Someone had the audacity to ask why i left. Mate, you've been chatting bubbles on there since 2013 and added me only now in 2023. You don't get to pick when i qualify to be a part of your club. No thanks.

The look on their face 🤭 im not even sorry

Nevermind31 · 20/02/2024 19:41

Do you join in and respond, banter etc? It is all about reciprocating… but also, who gives a sh.. these people don’t have to be your friends, you have a life, and it is just a school what’s app group

Queijo · 20/02/2024 19:31

I’m horrible - I refused to join the main WhatsApp group and had pitying ‘oh yeah you wouldn’t have heard it was on the group’ etc etc.

I set my own up with the nice mums and it’s now morphed into the main one, but I’m admin and wont add the nasty cliquey mums 😂

SparkleSmash · 20/02/2024 19:08

You sound a bit like me.

During the parents induction day before my DD started in reception there was a loud and confident mum who announced she was creating a WhatsApp group and anybody wanting to join should come over and give their numbers.

I couldn't get out of there quick enough though. I have no time for something that would only serve to exacerbate existing school gate anxiety.

PutMyFootIn · 20/02/2024 18:49

Funnily enough I feel exactly the same about the WI whatsapp group I just joined. and they are all 60+ It's so weird. Favourites even on whatsapp.

StepAwayFromGoogling · 20/02/2024 18:46

This used to happen to me, OP. It was really odd. I'd post something, it would be ignored, later someone else would post the exact same thing and everyone would start responding. I had a couple of good friends in the class and we ended up thinking it was incredibly funny. I'd post on the class WhatsApp group, nobody would reply, and they'd- privately - send me gifs of tumbleweed. No idea why to this day.

broodybaby85 · 20/02/2024 18:45

They are probably just a bunch of cunts, I wouldn't worry about it.

😂

NeedToChangeName · 20/02/2024 18:41

I sometimes think this comes down to self esteem

In the past, I would have agonised over this stuff, so I feel your pain

But now, I can honestly say I probably wouldn't even notice if someone thanked / liked a post

So, I'd suggest working on things you're good at, or make you feel positive. And confidence will grow

MeMyselfAndMyEye · 20/02/2024 18:36

So in my son's class whatsapp group, anyone and everyone reminds the class of stuff.

My friend's child goes to different school. She said her school have class reps and they are the only ones 'allowed' to post reminders.

I would go a bit quiet and look for trends.

It is tough, the world of the school gate, especially when you have a child who is neurodiverse. Flowers

bord · 20/02/2024 18:30

But to add - it's always useful to have one friendly parent to talk to when anything happens in the class. The class whatsapp group is rarely the place. Ours is all just PTA annoucements.

bord · 20/02/2024 18:29

Let's say you and another parent post the same type of thing.
The other parent may be getting a "thanks" thumbs up because either that person is their friend OR they actually had forgotten about the thing.
You might not be getting a "thanks" thumbs up because no one had forgotten about that thing.
Try and make a friend with a parent in the class. Find out if there is anyone your child plays with more regularly, and who has an approachable parent (someone you see and do "the nod" to regularly enough) and invite them to hang out at the park after school. If they say no, don't take it personally - people are time poor and lives are busy - it's almost never a you problem.

fatphalange · 20/02/2024 17:33

They are probably just a bunch of cunts, I wouldn't worry about it. I've never been on a class WhatsApp group, couldn't think of anything worse 😂

LivingOnAPear · 20/02/2024 17:29

I feel like this sometimes on what’s app groups but I put it down to RSD which is common with people with ADHD.

paisley256 · 20/02/2024 17:27

I've noticed this, but I think it's just that they are maybe more familiar with each other and probably know each other better or atleast message each other separately anyway.

Honestly I wouldn't let it worry you, I know it's easy to get paranoid though. I've only just been added to the WhatsApp group and my son is in year 10.

Lampslights · 20/02/2024 17:24

Probably they know the others, but not you so much. I’d try to focus on recovering from your anxiety , as this isn’t really something to stress about. It’s a class WhatsApp, no one gives it a second thought.

AcridAndStanLee · 20/02/2024 17:21

Well, you've been invited to the group so I wouldn't be too concerned. These groups are always so awkward if people don't know each other very well.

Original poster
Pearbiscuit · 20/02/2024 17:07

No, it wasn’t that kind of message. It was just a heads up about world book day and that they’ve been asked to dress as a word. As I know similar messages have been posted and responded to.

OP posts:
PomPomSugar · 20/02/2024 16:54

DyslexicPoster · 20/02/2024 16:44

We have a info only WhatsApp group. Only admins can post and it's just reminders. I find it really helpful. I'd never take it as patronising. Lots of people aren't as sorted as others

Show quote history

That’s completely different to a self appointed ‘queen bee’ who assumes all other parents are shit.

DyslexicPoster · 20/02/2024 16:44

PomPomSugar · 20/02/2024 16:04

Are you posting ‘Remember guys, it’s World Book Day on Friday and your kids have to go to school dressed up’ or are you posting ‘I think it’s World Book Day on Friday, is anyone able to confirm’?
The first wouldn’t receive a response of any kind from me because I would automatically think you were rude for implying that I would forget. The second I would gladly respond to assist.

We have a info only WhatsApp group. Only admins can post and it's just reminders. I find it really helpful. I'd never take it as patronising. Lots of people aren't as sorted as others

saraclara · 20/02/2024 16:41

When my kids were at lower school, I had a bunch of four or five friends who I'd known since we had our babies together. So had WhatsApp groups been a thing then, I dare say I'd have responded to their posts differently from the way I did to parents I'd never met.

That didn't make us a clique. We were always open and friendly to others at the school gate. But it's like Facebook friends. Some you're closer to than others. Some you respond to more than others. It's just not quite as apparent to the rest as it is on a WhatsApp group.

Fionaville · 20/02/2024 16:36

It's probably the other parents who are very friendly with each other who are giving the responses. Some of these mums might have been friends for a while (they could even have older kids in the same class) I wouldn't take it to heart.

Containerhome · 20/02/2024 16:33

It's probably the time you are posting. I wouldn't think too much into it.

Thedogsdindins · 20/02/2024 16:30

I always find those sorts of groups to be a bit cliquy and tend to avoid posting to them. My DS year group had a parents fb page which was always spilling over into all sorts of trouble because of some comment or another. I was a lurker rather than a poster. It was handy to have for useful school stuff.

PomPomSugar · 20/02/2024 16:04

Are you posting ‘Remember guys, it’s World Book Day on Friday and your kids have to go to school dressed up’ or are you posting ‘I think it’s World Book Day on Friday, is anyone able to confirm’?
The first wouldn’t receive a response of any kind from me because I would automatically think you were rude for implying that I would forget. The second I would gladly respond to assist.

drinked · 20/02/2024 16:03

@Pearbiscuit do you have your name on your whatsapp account? Sometimes people post on groups and I notice their names are "anonymised" unless they are in my Contact list. If I don't know someone, I'm less likely to respond.

Also, some people post annoying questions to school whatsapp groups - things they could easily look up on school websites, or find out by reading their school emails properly. Those people are less likely to receive replies, so do make sure you're not in that category.