I hate hate hate being a mum today

My baby's like this too. I didn't know she was high needs, I thought all babies were like this tbh! She's 12 months and it is getting a little easier, except sometimes. Todays been hard but not as hard as you. Better when her siblings are around as she can pull on them and beat them up. They like it mostly.

My second is very similar, I feel your pain. She absolutely could not just be popped in front of a telly, or her cot because she would scream the house down and hurt herself by throwing herself around. She hates Calpol and won't tolerate it at all.

She's 16 months now and it's still up and down to be honest. When she's unhappy she's mega unhappy, can't put her down etc. but easier than it was at 6/7 months, if that's any consolation...

It’s the worst age. I hated it with ds1 and I hated it even more with ds2.
Is she crawling yet? I found with both of mine it got much better once they became more mobile.
Ds2 is now 13months and I feel like life’s been much better the last couple of months. Hang in there. I know its shit I promise I do but it does pass eventually!

Huh? Calpol just soothes the pain. If she has a condition you can stop it before it starts eg by cutting cow milk out of her diet. Why would you not try everything when your baby is in such distress?

I agree it sounds like she's in pain. Have you ruled out CMPA and reflux? I'd get her to the GP ASAP if you haven't already. Babies lash out like this when they are hurting not because of development, though that can make them fussy but this is much more than that. Please take her to GP.

Oh and the calpol thing - if they like a dummy, do ‘squirt, dummy, squirt, dummy’ until it’s all gone in. Took a long time to get the hang of it but worth it!

Seconded. It’s by no means negative but if you haven’t had a high needs baby it’s like a different world. My mum used to tell me ‘just put her down, if she’s tired she’ll sleep’…

Omg this is me with my second born too
He is expresses his emotions physically whereas my eldest did not….
turns out I don’t know what the f I’m doing and I’m making it up as I go (recently cut myself a bob haircut bc my hair got pulled out so much)
its shit, but this too shall pass 🌻💐

About giving calpol. Obviously get the calpol syringe ready.
Sit her on your lap and thus trap one of her arms behind your body.
Hold her other hand/arm in yours. Use your upper arm to keep her head against you.
Tilt her backwards and squirt the calpol inside her cheek rather than straight down her throat.
See if she seems happier in about 15 minutes.

It won’t hurt her to be firm about it.
Sometimes we had to give antibiotics in nursery and most older babies were quite cooperative, but some weren’t!
It only takes a minute really. Then distract with a song and a cuddle, or a bouncy rhyme.

I wonder if she enjoys very active play. Does she like being bounced or swung around?
Will she roll around the floor on a mat- some babies enjoy the sort of mat that makes crinkly crackly sounds.

Its not unkind to put her down. If she was in nursery she would be on soft mats on the floor.

Some people will never understand what it's like to have a high needs baby.

Mine would scream blue murder if I popped tv on and left the room. Yes I left him to cry and it just escalated to haunting screams.

He's almost 2 and I only just now can leave the room for a few seconds whilst the tv is on.

Solidarity OP. Nothing helped me but time.

Put her down. Soft mat, toys, something to drum on maybe.

I would even say stop breastfeeding, as you’re feeling so frantic. Formula is okay. It’s better than you being in such a difficult place.
I second the suggestion of calpol. If you can find a way to get it down her, it would be interesting to see if she is calmer.

I had two like this. Solidarity. I felt like I lost myself for a long time, like I was essentially an inanimate object whose sole function was to walk, feed, rock, carry and be beaten up by a tiny dictator. DD in particular was mad about pulling my hair and while yes I did put it into a ponytail I just felt so shit that this baby was even making the decision about how I looked. I felt totally powerless.

For me it did spiral into PND after baby 2 and I would say if ‘practical’ help doesn’t alleviate it it might be worth talking to your doctor.

We didn’t get the chance to explore it much with DD (lockdown baby, zero support) but with DS we ran the full gamut of tests and he was ‘fine’. My theory is that I just had two babies who hated being babies!

Theyre now 3.5 and nearly 2 and it’s getting much, much better now they can communicate and there’s consequences for unkind hands etc.

Disney has a lot of bright colours, maybe try bluey or CBeebies and leave her to it. It won't hurt.
When I felt overwhelmed I'd watch something on my phone for a hour and let dc watch kids tv with all their toys arranged out they loved it. If not crawling, kick mat out with some toys in reach.

whispers it... "its ok to pop the tv on and go into the other room"

I really remember my dd being like this. You can try putting the calpol onto a teething toy or something (a bit at a time over a few mins). She won't be getting a full dose, but under-dosing is safe (unlike overdosing ofc)

Agree with popping her in the cot and taking a moment for yourself. She can’t hurt herself in the cot surely?

get a travel cot to use as a playpen in the living room? Plonk her in there with some teddies and soft books?

And will she watch a screen. In jumperoo. Screens are not the devil. Mine had calpol in milk or yogurt

Try calpol. I did that too

Sounds like wind. Dd got colic at that age.