It’s an inheritance one!

I hope you never need to make use of any charity. (I'm making this about you as you seem selfish.)
It's not just the obvious things either, like a homeless charity if you become homeless. It's also things like benefiting from research into cancer, from you guessed it, Cancer Research.

I'm sorry about your illness and understand the worry that causes. But your children are in a much stronger financial position than most even without your brothers money, so try not to worry too much about that.
In reality, any inheritance they did get from him would be unlikely to come at the necessary time anyway, unless he is many decades their senior, as assuming average life spans, most people don't inherit from the generation above until they are well into middle aged and mord comfortable themselves.
Tbh I can see why your brother might prefer his legacy to benefit the genuinely disadvantaged through charity, rather than making children who won't go without even more comfortable, and I do have empathy with that. My only concern would be if it was less an ethical decision and more indicative of a general lack of care for your DC. But you'd know this more from his day to day behaviour than from his will.

My kids are okay, they've had help from us and DP's parents to get on housing ladder.
My nephew who is a lot younger isn't as fortunate, my sibling and partner aren't in a position to buy him a flat when the time comes. Either are our parents. I've left a property that we own to him so he's had the same help as his cousins once I've gone.

Putting aside the slight tone of entitlement, this seems like much more of a parent issue than a sibling issue, so I am not sure why are focussing on your sibling. Surely if you do die before your parents they’ll just leave the share that would have gone to you to your children? That’s be the normal approach I think? And then yes, of course, I’m sure it’d be nice if later they got a share of your siblings estate, but the reality is that (a) your children have no right to expect that and (b) by the time the sibling dies I am sure your children will be old enough to established their own ways in the world.

In fact, by your parents leaving your share to you children they are much more likely to inherit when they actually need the money, ie early in life, not late in life.

https://www.contesting-wills.co.uk/news-articles/childs-inheritance.html

I also assumed that if you unfortunately passed away, then your inheritance would automatically go to your estate (ie your family) and not passed to your sibling, unless stated in the will.

Your parents wouldn't split between your sister & her kids if anything happened to you?

I can see where you sister gets it from!

Bloody hell.

The question keeps being asked, we keep just being given the vague answer of she sees her sister as “close”

How often do your children see your sibling?

No, I meant it's not possible. I've looked into ot extensively. I have 'life insurance' but it's actually a death in service policy through my job which doesn't have any health stipulations.

Even travel insurance is prohibitively expensive - I recently paid £500 or so for insurance for a trip that would cost about £20 for someone healthy.

I’m the same as your sister. My assets are willed to charities I’m already engaged in. My assets are just that - mine, and who and what I leave them to is my decision. That others disagree, don’t understand, and/or consider this selfish isn’t my problem.

You've done well then. My insurer wouldn't do it. I'm sorry you're facing such an illness.

Her DH, the children's father, could take out life insurance.

Leaving your spare money to charity isn't as charitable as giving away money you need.

The sibling planning to leave to good causes - are they donating now? Do they give regular amounts? Or is it just once they are gone and don't need the money the charities can get their scraps (albeit big chunk of money scraps). I think that makes a difference whether they are engaged with these causes or not.

I have a real dislike for people who don't acknowledge their privilege. Very few people are 'self made', most got there with lots of help, or safety nets, or old school tie connections. It's not an even playing field.

To disregard the benefits received by inheritance, and to deny it to nephews and nieces is selfish.

As someone with a (different) life limiting illness, no, it is not.

No. The nasty post belongs to people who think that money is the tie that binds them to family and are keeping score of what they think they are entitled to.

Yes I agree with this; surely it doesn’t have to be all or nothing?

Fat chance

I'm the sibling in this scenario (although my sibling as far as I know is in good health). I have a DH but no DCs, and if DH predeceases me, my plan is also for any money to go to a local charity I know would benefit hugely. My DNs will most likely inherit 'enough' from their parents - we aren't a wealthy family by any means but everyone is secure enough financially. If my DM dies first without her estate being used up for care fees, my sibling and me stand to inherit a reasonably significant amount each, and presumably then their children will benefit from that at some point later down the line.

However - if my sibling was poorly, and approached me about this, I'd be very willing to listen. In the absence of any request / discussion I'd assume they were happy the children were adequately provided for, whether that's via inheritance or life assurance. Could your sibling maybe just not have considered it may be appreciated given the circumstances? He/she isn't a mind reader and if they don't have DCs it may just not have occurred to them.

Take out life insurance when you have cancer? Is that even possible?

If you were to sadly pass before your parents, I can’t understand why your “share” would go to your sister and not your kids, even if it’s in trust?

Unless I have misunderstood I think it’s your parents you should be upset with and not your sister

It is very odd for someone who received an inheritance from their own Aunt, is close enough to be happy to be named their niece and nephews guardian and who will receive OPs share of their parents estate if OP dies before her, to choose to leave nothing to their niece/nephew.

It's her choice of course, but completely understand why OP would be upset about it.

OP, I hope your parents will change their will to ensure your share goes to your children and not to end up going to charity. (Assuming they are not also odd and that's what they want!)

If you are worried about what happens to your children if you die prematurely, and getting them on the housing ladder - if you're that worried sort things out yourself.

Take out life insurance so your dc get that money
Save for their house deposit, go without luxuries to do so, downsize your own house.

Stop expecting other people to do this for you. It was your decision to have children so YOU need to put things in place should you die prematurely or you want them to have a deposit on a house.

YABVU

YABVU it’s none of your business what they do. Plus it’s not all about your children

How old is the sibling? I’m assuming 40s or 50s in which case they have probably got a good few decades to live and I wouldn’t worry so much about what is in their will, it’s more of an issue what they do while they are still alive. Who knows they might change the will in later years, and by the time they die your kids will probably be well set up in life anyway.