Nursery have given DS cake

Please let it be The Marie Antoinette nursery

Any school I have worked in has pictures of children with allergies / medical conditions and information about allergens / triggers / treatment etc. I imagine nurseries are the same. While they may miss that OP prefers her child not to have cake, that information will not be given the same prominence as the fact that this child is lactose intolerant and another child is allergic to strawberries etc.

I have to admit @rollerblind this made me do an out loud snigger.

😂

You were upset about a bit of chocolate sauce? Livid? Baby custard? Crazy posters?
A bit of sugar won't harm your son's brain development but policing every mouthful will stress yours.

I would be livid OP, I recently found out my one year old was given chocolate sauce at nursery and was quite upset about it. I had naively thought the weekly custard he had was a special sugar free baby custard (luckily he only started 3 weeks ago). I hadn't realised you had to tell the nursery not to give sugary food - it's insane that a childcare provider would give a child under 3 sugar. A lot of posters on here seem crazy too. There is no nutritional value in sugar, and the first three years of a child's life are so crucial, what they eat also affects their brain development. My son will be allowed to have cake and chocolate when he's older (in moderation).

The nursery food has all been quite stressful for us unfortunately! But what can you do when childcare is difficult to find and do expensive. But I am surprised nurseries are allowed to sell that they are providing nutritional thought out menus when in actual fact a lot of it is ultra processed. It's a headache and there should be more regulations on what providers can feed children with something more in line with NHS guidelines.

Who eats cake every day?! It's weird!

Half the problem is the nomenclature. There's probably more added sugar in a jar of pasta sauce than in these "cakes". Rename them as breads and people probably wouldn't care.

Nursery and school menus often only contain enough nutrients when you take into account a "pudding".

Children need more carbohydrate & fat than adults and a cake or pudding are a cheap, palatable way to get in calorie dense ingredients like flour, fat, milk, eggs, fruit. You'll find lots of the cakes feature veg eg courgette, beetroot or carrot.

You'll probably find the serving of the "main" meal leaves your child hungry if you suggest its taken out. Providing good quality food to be cooked and served to children costs a lot (and most kids won't even eat half the stuff) which is why most schools and nurseries cook like this.

Because we all know the cake “every single day” thing is a total exaggeration of what probably happened.

Why would she? I don't get it? I don't know anyone in my circle who has 2 or more kids that would consider cake every single day to be normal. Who eats cake every day?! It's weird!

@Thepeopleversuswork If you knew me you'd know how mad that assertion is. I don't believe we should demonise any food. Everything in moderation. My DS had a massive honking piece of cake on his 1st birthday and does so everytime he's at a birthday party! But I also believe in providing a healthy balanced diet. One of many reasons we chose his nursery was because all the food is made on site, is varied and balanced. Cake every single day suggests that the nursery isn't particularly bothered about providing a balanced diet; same as them giving chicken nuggets every day or similar.

Honestly, you’re going to look back at this PFB dramatics in years to come and cringe.

she clarified it was shop-bought run of the mill ice cream being served to babies. When she saw the absolute horror on my face

😂😂😂😂

The child doesn't have diabetes!

What’s completely ridiculous is how much faff and thought OP is giving this. I love how some on MN are immediately like ‘ what about this’ when all we are talking about here is a 1 year old with seemingly no health problems or allergies. It is just cake in this situation and you also need to chill out!

The OP will soo learn to not sweat the small stuff so much.

The OP is not being ridiculous at all. Try saying it's 'just' cake to anyone with diabetes. Nobody needs to eat cake. I am sure most of us like cake but we don't need it and to give it to a 12 month old is 'completely ridiculous'.

@Hmmwhatyousay no, your expectations are not too high. Children of that age should not be eating cake every day. However, you do need to realise that you are going to need to manage situations like this from now on. Where the world sometimes seems to actively work against all your good work as a parent.

We love our children, we want what's best for them, but things happen, other people come along, and throw a spanner in the works. My advice is to keep on doing what you're doing, when things go wrong do not beat yourself up about it, when people criticise you for doing the right thing, ignore them. Trust your gut. You sound like an amazing mother.

The only practical advice I can think of here is to try another nursery, if that is possible?

The child is 12 months and has probably only just fully weaned? He has a whole lifetime to eat cake and all the other junk our kids are exposed to?

I worked hard to give my older children (who don't have medical conditions) a base palate of healthy foods so they at least had the exposure. Worked with one child who loves fruit, veg and salad. Wasn't so successful with the other child. As I say 3rd DC can't have and never has had cake.

My older kids eat plenty of junk now but at 12 months old no I wouldn't have wanted them to have cake everyday (even sugar free cake - the association being built is that cake is an everyday food, not that sugar free cake is an everyday food)

The only cake we have in our early years centre has been made in the centre by the cook and a small group of children, it has No sugar in it, uses soya milk and tastes so bland. I’m not sure how the children can eat it. Though the piece of cake is usually 2cm by 2cm to ensure all children can get a piece.

However cake is a rare thing in any of the nurseries I’ve worked in.

so, no it wouldn’t bother me, however we have parents that will complain about things eg too much fruit, don’t give 5pm snack which consists of an apple, so they then complain that their child is crying when the come to pick them up because everyone else is eating an apple.

Yes, but as many many people have pointed out - it’s a nursery. Not every single (non medical / non religious) requirement can be fulfilled. If a parent wants that level of control / oversight, choose different childcare.

Can’t believe these responses. It’s a 12 month old baby. Babies do not need cake no matter if it’s a low sugar version.

I’ve said for all 3 of my kids that they are to have fruit for pudding and not cake. Nursery have accommodated. None have gotten upset (there are enough gluten and dairy free kids at nursery for lots to be eating fruit for dessert), and none have got eating issues. Of course they are allowed cake and others desserts now they are older, I just didn’t see the need whilst they were tiny and had no idea what it was.

Do you have access to the menu?

Are you saying cake was on the menu and you asked them to substitute it and they didn't? (which is a bit shit)

My youngest is on a strict no sugar diet due to a medical condition so I would be livid and would be considering removing my child but we have extenuating circumstances and it would have been covered under dietary requirements.

Can you maybe update your child's dietary requirements with the nursery and put this all in writing? Let them have a(nother) chance to work with you on this?

They shouldn’t have gone against your wishes and that’s the most important thing. But you need to promote positive relationships with food and friendship. I don’t agree with restricting food, any food, because it doesn’t promote a healthy relationship with food. Everything should be in moderation, I don’t let my DS eat 5 satsumas even though he’d choose to and they’re “healthy”. Children shouldn’t be separated from their peers, eating together is a really good way to build friendships (at any age).

Bit of cake is quite good for them - with fats and egg etc in. Doubt it’s got that much sugar in. I know at my boys nursery it’s all low sugar puds and cakes. I’d be happier with this than him having extra fruit on top of his normal fruit snacks.

Also even if it was high sugar - meh. I’d rather him just enjoy nursery and have the same as his peers. My nursery does give them raisins as part of his snack which I’m not overly happy about as they are awful for teeth but he never has them at home, it’s part of a meal and it’s like once a week so it’s not a hill I’m going to die on or bother to exclude him from.

Well this thread has been great, thanks everyone.

Doesn't it simply come down to OP asked the nursery to do something and they did not do it?