Lingerie

My husbands tells me I'm sexy all the time lol I've had 3 children, I've gained 20lbs since we met and feel very unsexy. I have no problem in indulging him by wearing lingerie he regards as sexy. After a few glasses of Asti, I could be wearing a boiler suit for all I cared!

The appeal of lingerie in these situations is novelty and it shows a willingness to please, both of which are sexual stimulators.

Yes, skinny jeans look awful on people with fat thighs that touch! It makes them look like they have bowed legs. Fact.

Don't take it personally - I'm just saying there are SO many different styles of clothes, just wear something that suits the body size and shape! It's not difficult.

My husband will buy me the odd thing he sees and likes the look off, but it’s usually really sl!??y stuff lol. He doesn’t expect me to wear it in to the office or whatever but he does like it if it’s just me and him and I tell him I have it on. I have to say in the last few yrs I’ve gained a lot of weight, but if truth be known he seems more attracted to me than ever ( or at least it feels that way to me ). The last thing he bought me was very ill fitting and I can honestly say I didn’t feel sexy in the least but he seemed to really love it. We’re together 25 yrs so maybe somewhere a long the way it becomes more a bout trying something out, you might not understand why but he enjoys it, and the sexy bit for him is the fact you’re prepared to do it here and there for him.

No, but you need to pick the right thing. Something designed to push up your breasts and clinch the waist prob isn't the right thing. I have been both body shapes both real skinny and flat chested and now fairly curvey and different lingerie looks better on me now and some thing. I found like scrappy bondadge harness kind of lingerie looked better then as now sometimes I feel like scrappy stuff like that clinches some of my fat in and makes me look kind of like meat wrapped in strong 😂 but some of the moste push up big cleavage stuff looked a bit silly on me then.

I think it's just a case of trying different things and finding things you personally feel confident in

It’s not all about confidence. I’m fairly confident (and overweight) but some stuff looks cracking on me and some stuff looks awful. Doesn’t matter if we are talking clothes or lingerie.

However. Your confidence issue appears to be about the unwrapping. So wear something that you don’t unwrap. Crotchless version of whatever you like. Keep it on and it’ll make you both feel you are trying something new.

Having become single in the last year I really appreciate now how nice underwear can make me feel. I’m plus size 14/16 and I stick it on now and feel sexy. I think I got so comfortable that I forgot how it felt to wear something nice. Yes I have fat rolls and a belly but I just have so much more confidence now when I wear it

I don't think you need a big pair of mittens to look sexy. Tim Curry had no mittens whatsoever in Rocky Horror and he looked great in that basque 🤣

Sexy lingerie is meant to be empowering and make you feel good. If however you don't feel good trussed up like a turkey, then you shouldn't feel bad about it. There's nothing wrong with feeling uncomfortable in something and so avoiding it (even if your husband/ society say's you should love it and find it empowering). Instead you should wear something that makes you feel good - even if it's a baggy top and tracksuit bottoms... if it makes you feel more comfortable in yourself and makes you happier to get in the mood then so be it.

I don't want to get drawn into a conversation about women's underwear as I don't feel comfortable but I not a few posts about being flat chested.my opinion is women can look great no matter what shape or size.

Don't get hung up on size just have confidence in yourself mean this in the nicest possible way.

I get what you mean OP.

You feel the most commonly bought articles of lingerie showcase certain bits and bobs which you personally don't want showcased.

Do you like your legs and arms? How about a little sheer chemise? It could be clingy or swingy. Just a thong underneath?

To me it's like being given a beautifully wrapped and exciting looking present only to open it and find a pair of woollen mittens inside.

I'm sorry you feel this way, but it's not a first date. It's your husband, who presumably has seen the mittens many times before, and thinks theyre beautiful and exciting and has loved them. They're his favourite mittens in the world.

YANBU to think that different things suit different people, and that something marketed as being ‘sexy’ will not automatically flatter all body types.

YABU to say this “I the only one who thinks you need a good figure to really look 'sexy'.
What is a ‘good’ figure and what is ‘sexy’? Literally just down to personal opinion.

Oh dear, op.

On the one hand, I relate to this a lot. But it's quite negative way to think about your body. I don't think you should feed into it.

I have a small bum and find Brazilian knickers look nice. I'm also a b cup post breastfeeding and like balcony bras, a few satin ones. Nothing to try hard to look pushed up or big, but embracing them for what they are.

I know what you mean. I was responding to the idea that it's jut a case of finding something 'flattering' that fits you well and being 'confident' - like that's all it takes.

My body shape is different to yours but it's widely derided as being 'unattractive' and 'disgusting'.

In my experience, it doesn't matter how well fitting or flattering (for that read - disguises) it is, we all know what's underneath and it's just foolish to think that a bit of, as you say, strategically placed silk and lace is going to make any difference to that.

That's not the tone I got from that comment. She's saying you need to find what flatters your body type, and this was an example of unflattering clothes.

Skinny jeans look awful on me, and dark coloured jeans are the absolute worst. I look spindly and shapeless. Skinny jeans are often hit or miss.

I don't agree with it either.

Yes, it's important to be confident but confidence doesn't make clothes fit better!

@RatatouillePie Or skinny jeans on people who have really fat legs that just makes them look like their legs are bowed where the thighs touch in the middle.
Well I haven't worn skinny jeans for several years but just wow at you suggesting no one with touching thighs should wear them

I don't ever feel 'sexy' as I try not to conceive of myself in ways to do with how others are perceiving me - I don't like objectifying myself like that. I sometimes feel sexual, and that doesn't usually have much to do with how I look or what I'm wearing, but more about who I'm with or what I'm feeling (and where I am in my menstrual cycle).

It definitely depends how well it fits and how you feel you look.
When you tried it, did you just put it on? I think it can be like trying on a party dress. I definitely feel completely different just trying it on vs wearing it with styled hair, bit of make up, maybe a splash of perfume...