To think that ow genuinely fall for the lies their men spin?

Hahahahaha you're so, so wrong. She is a horrible individual who I personally met and observed throughout the entire thing. This isn't just a post on the Internet it was peoples lives. Oh and in relation to the child, I know about that as I was unlucky enough to hot desk opposite her on the day she was giggling about his wife ringing and ringing him to a colleague :) so yes i am VERY gleeful she got the same treatment and if that makes me a misogynist I am so happy about that. I assume you're the OW and this touched a nerve when you realised you aren't special, just like it did for her when she was cheated on too except, unlike the wife she had shown the man no likeable qualities whatsoever and couldn't even argue that he had been unfair to her. You lose them how you found them. As for his lovely wife, she has done very well in another department and is married again to the nicest man. I think you need to reflect on why it is you think the OW is without fault but her actions and their impact on the wife is acceptable. Seems a lot of the OW camp are blind to the fact that they think the wife deserves no compassion at all and yes, that compassion is shown through the disgust for the OW.

It's not really worth the energy, but since you asked so nicely. The focus is almost 100% on the woman with barely a mention of the man. It plays right into the nasty viewpoint of an OW deserving heartbreak while a MM deserves more cheating sex, because even though he crapped on his own family with her, the most important thing is that he's an agent of justice for her. He's shagging away while his child is ill and she still gets almost the full force of wrath. It's gleeful and spiteful. The reasoning for why it's so different for a wife to be taken in is hugely reductive, over-simplistic and frankly dumb. The entire post is devoid of any nuance or critical thinking and perpetuates misogynistic stereotypes.

Hope that helps.

😂please elaborate?

This post is both misogynistic and deeply unintelligent.

Lots of OWs aren't aware the man is in a relationship or married with children.

But yes, I do wonder what people who fully know they are with a man in an affair situation think.
I'm guessing these men are good at spinning a lie. They convince their wife that everything is Greta whilst simultaneously convincing another woman it's an awful relationship he will leave for her.

Lust and love do strange things to peoples ability to think straight.

They're really, really good actors to the wife and the OW doesn't mind that they're a bit of a cunt because she finds validation in knowing he is slagging his wife off and she's his dirty secret. I loved it when the OW in our office was humbled by finding out her vile affair partner wasn't just cheating on his wife with her, he was cheating on her with someone else. She was delusional as fuck though so she still thought she was a victim in the same way the wife was😂Like please, you've lost a regular half arsed shag with a man who was with you when his small child got rushed to hospital and his wife couldn't get hold of him, she's lost what she thought was her world.

So what's going wrong with these men then? These men who all the sensible, decent women saw enough qualities in to chose as a life partner, that ten years or so down the line have completely changed their characters and gone from excellent husband/father material to deceitful betrayer? And have so far moved from their former tastes and value systems that they are not only cheating, but cheating with women who are such low, inferior creatures, desperate, that no single man would want, ugly inside and out?

How can the affair partner be just as bad as the person who's actually shitting on his own family and his own promises?

If getting married doesn't make you more responsible for it than some unrelated stranger, marriage is meaningless.

This competing thing is why I think MIL (sometimes SIL), step children, ex and new partners exist for some people, and why social media is so popluar

and I say MIL and I don't hear much mentioned about FILs

You do get these people who will compete over anything at the drop of a hat, never pausing to think about whether what they are competing over is really a prize. In recent years I have come to realise that there are loads of these mindless people.

It's basically a form of dating while still married. He wants to know that the new relationship is worth it before leaving his family.

Why leave before having a new relationship all set up? He would still get all the grief for leaving his kids, but none of the benefit and someone to support him when he leaves.

It's not fair, but most men think like this.

I'm hopeful that women are finally starting to see the 'crazy ex' bullshit for what it is.

Women who have affairs with married men know they are being told lies about how the wife is mean/abusive/doesn't want sex/etc, but they are too egotistical to care and too delusional to think that their boyfriend will ever do the same to them.
A friend of mine had an affair with a guy who was married with 4 kids, he would pick her up from work with his 1 old year in the car which she thought was hilarious. She knew everything he said was a lie, but she liked the attention he gave her. It was pathetic, and up until then I didn't think that affair partners were that bad, not innocent but not as nasty as some people claim they are. But that's a load of crap, they are just as bad as the men they are having sex with.

I always remember an awful human I met at a barbecue who got pissed on wine and despite being engaged to her new partner at the time told us all about when she met the man she entered into an affair with. She had SO much hatred for his wife who had no idea she had started working with him and in her words when she saw him she thought 'I'm in trouble here' because she fancied him... this was years after and she still told a group of strangers how his incompetent wife couldn't do things like drive on roundabouts etc ( probably was a nervous wreck being married to such a piece of shit ) and how when her now ex left his wife for her, he turned into a twat and ended up assaulting her. Despite all this she was still deluded as fuck and being nasty about the wife. I have never met a more unpleasant individual who oozed so much arrogance, ugliness and was more boring to listen to. It was quite pathetic how this was obviously still quite thrilling for her and she thought strangers cared as much as she did. I just saw a mess infront of me who had no self worth. I hope the wife is doing well now

The breakdown of a marriage no matter how it goes is going to be hard on everyone

you genuinely have no clue. It’s a lot easier to manage when there’s a warm body in the bed next to you. When there’s someone rooting for you and supporting you. Far easier when there’s 2 wages coming into your household and you’re not the one left managing the mortgage of a property bought on the back of two full time salaries. Even better when you’re that much further ahead in the process mentally and just seamlessly moving on. Really so much easier when you’re not the one listening to your children cry and having to answer their why did daddy leave me questions. Great that you get half your time (and usually more) child free to have long lie ins with that new partner; not so great when your children are away for the night and return with stories of carefree time and pretty girlfriends.

I’m laughing at all the ‘if he’s so unhappy then he should just leave the marriage’ comments. As if it’s that easy especially in a long marriage where kids are involved. It affects the whole family. The posters suggesting this would be the first ones ranting about the awful husband who has left the family because he is a selfish twat who doesn’t want to be married any more. Then there’s the whole other matter of friends and families trying to make them feel guilty/ trying to make them go back to the marriage etc

how does cheating make any of that better?

Of course women cheat too, but that's an entirely different point. They're blamed when they cheat and they're blamed when men cheat.

Exactly! I’m laughing at all the ‘if he’s so unhappy then he should just leave the marriage’ comments. As if it’s that easy especially in a long marriage where kids are involved. It affects the whole family. The posters suggesting this would be the first ones ranting about the awful husband who has left the family because he is a selfish twat who doesn’t want to be married any more. Then there’s the whole other matter of friends and families trying to make them feel guilty/ trying to make them go back to the marriage etc. Divorce is horrible regardless of the reasons behind it.
Don’t get me started on the ‘marriage is for life’ bollocks! Are you seriously saying that someone should stay in a miserable and abusive situation just because they signed a bit of paper? 🙄

I used to be believe women didn’t know or didn’t care to know but sometimes I think some women are so desperate for affection they believe anything.

I have a “friend”. She’s single with two children and has been with no end of men in the last 2 years. She comes crying to me everytime it goes wrong and I give the normal sympathy and whatnot but honestly it’s exasperating because it’s clearly obvious to me what scum they are but she’s so desperate for any scrap of love, she takes it. I try to steer her away but she doesn’t listen

@NonPlayerCharacter perhaps. But women cheat too 🤷🏼‍♀️

It's not a men vs women thing for me, it's just shit human beings.

I’ve been with a married man… I met him in the office I worked in, before me he had been with multiple women from the office- no mention of being married at all. I found out he was cheating on me, we ‘worked’ through it and then I got a message from his wife who was pregnant with twins. I blocked him on everything, left that office and continued to receive emails from him for about a year afterwards.

They worked through it and seem to be doing amazing together. I don’t snoop but my friend is his manager. Honestly, as hurt as I was at the time and undoubtedly his wife would’ve been hurt I’m glad it happened. It was a life lesson to me to not to believe so much crap or in effect be preyed on by a man 11 years my senior. I commend his wife, I couldn’t stomach the lies after a couple months let alone after 15 years!

I think it's underestimated how many women out there actually know full well and don't give a shit about the wives and kids at home.

Possibly, but it'll be less than the 100% of cheating married men who know full well and don't give a shit about their own wives and kids at home.

I think it's underestimated how many women out there actually know full well and don't give a shit about the wives and kids at home.

The bint mine has an affair with knew, even had the cheek to ask about my kids, still didn't stop her.

Irrespective of someone's sex, it's plain to see some humans have shitty non existent morals.

It's never 'one act' that defines the person when they have an affair. It is the repeated choosing - over and over again - to lie, to decieve and to betray their partner.

Nor do I believe the breakdown of a relationship is as hard on the cheater as on the person they have betrayed. The cheat holds all the cards and has the script. Their partner is hit by a bolt out the blue on the cheater's schedule.

@Workworkandmoreworknow Of course the children were affected. But they were also affected by having a miserable father who kept plodding along in a marriage that was never going to work. Should he have left sooner? Of course. He met the OW and realised how much happier he could be. He had stayed in his miserable marriage 'for the kids' for ages. He wasn't just going to leave. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Some men who have affairs are utter pigs and some aren't. I just don't think one act defines a person. The breakdown of a marriage no matter how it goes is going to be hard on everyone.