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Original poster

Guy made a comment on my parenting

136 replies

bubbles1994 · 13/02/2024 13:14

Hey everyone so, I'm a single mum with a 2 year old daughter, I decided i wanted to start dating as I'm lonely as hell. So I've been texting with a guy who has 2 little girls 7 + 4. We've been really getting on for the past 2 weeks. Last night he made a comment and I don't know if I'm overreacting or not but my daughter has been unwell all week so her sleep pattern has been a bit messed up and she was up at 9pm last night, and has been waking up because of her cough a couple nights too. Obviously the guy knows this because I've told him. So anyway, I've put a couple screenshots of his and my messages and I just feel like he was kind of judging me, but I don't know if I'm overreacting and i really do my best as a parent. What do you think?

Guy made a comment on my parenting
Guy made a comment on my parenting
Guy made a comment on my parenting
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pastypirate · 14/02/2024 10:25

MaidOfSteel · 13/02/2024 19:41

You can do better than this plonker, OP. Bin him.

This

napody · 14/02/2024 10:18

Would have replied to the very PA 'your parenting style is so different to mine' with 'yes it is: it's full time'.

Honestly the passive aggressive laughing faces would irritate me so much.

FriedSprout · 14/02/2024 10:03

Hope your little one is feeling better by now.

Can I suggest you don’t make decisions based solely on texts!

The differing opinions on this board about what he meant should be enough to make you aware it is not easy to judge solely on a few lines.

Speak to the guy, let him know you were pissed off and why. Judge by his spoken word responses.

Sounds like you’re a good mum, doing her best with little sleep and a lot of responsibilities.

Pigglyplaystruant99 · 14/02/2024 09:05

There's no context in your 'bantering style' not really tell. I'd take it as a light hearted piss take - which I quite enjoy - but only you know how you both communicate.

MzHz · 14/02/2024 08:57

I think you’ve gone @bubbles1994 but he’s NOT a full time dad, he’s NOT doing it on his own as you are, and as you say, his own 4yo was rampaging past 11pm.

the issue here isn’t scoring points, or looking for reasons why he said what he said, perhaps he didn’t think how it would come across but it was definitely ‘off’ and you’re justified to feel weird about it

the response to it is possibly something like “thanks, next time I want advice from a part time dad, you’ll be too on my list” oh and don’t forget the shit ton of emojis so you can pass it off as a joke.

i think you called this right.

CucumberBagel · 14/02/2024 08:45

wutheringkites · 13/02/2024 19:41

Well that kind of thinking surely works both ways doesn't it?

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No, because there's a clear trend of how many men / fathers behave in marriages compared to women / mothers.

Gagaandgag · 13/02/2024 19:53

I think don’t even bother going there. I think it’s a hint at his controlling behaviour. The comment would wind me up - rather than be smug be supportive

MaidOfSteel · 13/02/2024 19:41

You can do better than this plonker, OP. Bin him.

wutheringkites · 13/02/2024 19:41

CucumberBagel · 13/02/2024 18:18

There is nearly always a reason these twats have a failed first marriage.

Well that kind of thinking surely works both ways doesn't it?

IsthisthereallifeIsthisjustfantasy · 13/02/2024 19:19

LilBus · 13/02/2024 19:08

You’ve obviously not been on here very long, every time a single mum is criticised for being so quick with someone they’ve just met it turns out they’ve “known them years” as soon as they are pulled up on it, when pointed out she’s only been chatting to him for 2 weeks I’m sure if she knew him years it would have been in the op but I can’t be bothered to say more on it it’s a standard line that suddenly she’s “known him years” sure 🙄

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You’ve obviously not been on here very long

Urg, I hate gatekeeping on mumsnet.

I've been here long enough to know that my reply to this should be, "long time lurker, pre-penis beaker" 😂.

LilBus · 13/02/2024 19:08

IsthisthereallifeIsthisjustfantasy · 13/02/2024 19:02

Fairly normal in small town, close knit communities?

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You’ve obviously not been on here very long, every time a single mum is criticised for being so quick with someone they’ve just met it turns out they’ve “known them years” as soon as they are pulled up on it, when pointed out she’s only been chatting to him for 2 weeks I’m sure if she knew him years it would have been in the op but I can’t be bothered to say more on it it’s a standard line that suddenly she’s “known him years” sure 🙄

IsthisthereallifeIsthisjustfantasy · 13/02/2024 19:02

LilBus · 13/02/2024 14:20

Was waiting for the “I’ve known him years” line to come out always does…

Fairly normal in small town, close knit communities?

chiwwy · 13/02/2024 19:00

Coyoacan · 13/02/2024 18:42

Even with the emojis everyone assumes his comment was criticism. I despair. Is it something in the water that means mumsnetters can no longer appreciate a joke?

People never say cutting things with emojis, right? 😂😂

DonnyBurrito · 13/02/2024 19:00

Coyoacan · 13/02/2024 18:42

Even with the emojis everyone assumes his comment was criticism. I despair. Is it something in the water that means mumsnetters can no longer appreciate a joke?

If it was a joke, what was the punchline?

Coyoacan · 13/02/2024 18:42

Even with the emojis everyone assumes his comment was criticism. I despair. Is it something in the water that means mumsnetters can no longer appreciate a joke?

HeBeaverandSheBeaver · 13/02/2024 18:23

How often does he have access. Easy for a Disney dad to judge.

CucumberBagel · 13/02/2024 18:18

There is nearly always a reason these twats have a failed first marriage.

chiwwy · 13/02/2024 18:12

Those messagesfrom him are twatty. Well done first of all for speaking up and saying your daughter is good.

now how do I go about saying something to him about it but I've had it on my mind since yesterday and I also think it's a red flag

I think the moment to say something has passed but now you're aware he can make these off hand comments you can be more prepared next time and stand up for yourself and see how he reacts to that.

But really, if you feel it's red flag behaviour, I would agree with you and that you should cut your losses now.

SweatpantPotato · 13/02/2024 18:02

I think he was negging you and trying to make you feel a little bad/insecure. I hope your little one feels much better soon and you both get some rest! (Which is all he needed to say really, right?)

Noseybookworm · 13/02/2024 17:54

It sounds like a poor attempt at a joke to me, don't read too much into it. Maybe a bit insensitive but I wouldn't write him off because of it.

Cheeseflakes · 13/02/2024 17:51

He did 🤣🤣🤣

Doesn't that mean he's joking around? Besides he'd soon see the reality

AliceOlive · 13/02/2024 17:51

Run. He’s living at his mum’s and has his kids two nights a week. He shouldn’t be judging anyone.

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 13/02/2024 17:49

Weird having such a convo about your child so early on. What a bore of that is. I mean if he’s looking for a step mum for his kids rather than a partner then you’ve walked right into it and seeing as he’s commenting on your parenting styles then I’d be inclined to think that’s what’s he’s after.

DonnyBurrito · 13/02/2024 17:46

Maryquitecontrarymary · 13/02/2024 17:18

Wow and here we go, the breast is best brigade. So those who don't breastfeed their kids aren't comforting them and are authoritarian?
Quite a big difference between a kid being ill and needing comfort and being up late at night screaming 'boobies" for fun.
Maybe he just has well behaved kids

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You've completely misinterpreted what I said.

It's possible to breastfeed for nutritional purposes only and not for comfort (ie no extra during illness/injury/bedtime/through the night/etc).

If an older toddler is asking for 'boobies', I would assume they have been breastfed for both nutrition and comfort.

It was just another possibility. It's likely he's just dense ☺️

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 13/02/2024 17:46

I read that as a lighthearted quip too.