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Original poster

Annoyed at my childminder’s unreliability

98 replies

LittleMissPenny · 11/02/2024 23:02

My son has been going to the childminder for 2 years, over the past few years she has been very unreliable and i am at the end of my tether. I have had so many days off sick from my job and had to arrange childcare due to this. Today she has texted at 130 saying her dad is ill with covid and is still open only to text ten minutes ago saying she now suddenly has covid and is unable to open, once again leaving me in the lurch. I feel like i can’t trust her when it comes to illnesses as last time she said she was seriously ill with gallstones it was just acid redness and she was off for a week. Am I the A-hole for being annoyed that she is off again and for believing this is just a coincidence and her not bothering to work? She is off work on Thursday for half term also which is also making me suspicious.

OP posts:
Ella31 · 11/02/2024 23:06

Its obviously not working for you so you aren't being unreasonable there, but if she is sick, she's sick.

MrsKintner · 11/02/2024 23:08

Why does it matter if you a reasonable or unreasonable to be annoyed?

If your childcare arrangements aren't working surely you need a new arrangement?

Original poster
LittleMissPenny · 11/02/2024 23:10

She is not sick though she just tested positive for Covid and hasn’t sent proof of her positive test. Last year alone she has closed 15 times either due to her kids being sick, her being “sick” or just too tired to work apparently. It is her being lazy and using Covid as an excuse not to work when she is off at the end of the week.

OP posts:
Original poster
LittleMissPenny · 11/02/2024 23:12

I live in a small town and she is the only childminder with space so other arrangements aren’t an option

OP posts:
SisterMichaelsHabit · 11/02/2024 23:13

Do you think she's really sick or just saying that to get time off? If the latter, YANBU at all, I'd be querying it after a load of illnesses (not to her face, but just to myself). Either way, it's time to find a new CM or nursery ASAP because this isn't working for you.

The trouble I've had with nurseries is, the kids got ill all the time so I had to take loads of time off as they were constantly sent home (sometimes for spurrious reasons). But my CM has about 4 members of staff so she doesn't ever close for sickness. You just really need someone you can depend on to provide childcare because otherwise your work record reflects your absences and your DC's absences and your CM's absences and that's just not fair on you.

Justyouwaitandseeagain · 11/02/2024 23:13

You never know fully what's going on in her life especially if she has the pressure of an older or ill parent/s plus children of her own. If it's not working for you, go elsewhere but it's very harsh to go too hard on 'laziness'

SisterMichaelsHabit · 11/02/2024 23:14

LittleMissPenny · 11/02/2024 23:12

I live in a small town and she is the only childminder with space so other arrangements aren’t an option

Do you work in the same town you live in? My DC goes to a CM in the town where I work as there were more childcare options (also makes pickup a lot easier).

NuffSaidSam · 11/02/2024 23:14

You feel how you feel, if that's annoyed then that's fine.

All you can do is change your childcare arrangements. You being annoyed isn't going to make her change her ways.

purpleme12 · 11/02/2024 23:18

This is one of the reasons I didn't choose childminder. But hard if this person is the only option!!

Sillybert · 11/02/2024 23:21

Out of interest, do you still have to pay when the childminder closes?

Ktime · 11/02/2024 23:23

Sounds like she knows she has you over a barrel. Is nursery not an option?

mummy21blueeyed · 11/02/2024 23:24

Sillybert · 11/02/2024 23:21

Out of interest, do you still have to pay when the childminder closes?

She shouldn’t be, I pay if mine is open and I don’t send her but if she’s shut for what ever reason I don’t pay.

Original poster
LittleMissPenny · 11/02/2024 23:26

Having older parents or kids isn’t an excuse for being unreliable- I know exactly what goes on due to the fact she tells me.

OP posts:
Original poster
LittleMissPenny · 11/02/2024 23:28

SisterMichaelsHabit · 11/02/2024 23:13

Do you think she's really sick or just saying that to get time off? If the latter, YANBU at all, I'd be querying it after a load of illnesses (not to her face, but just to myself). Either way, it's time to find a new CM or nursery ASAP because this isn't working for you.

The trouble I've had with nurseries is, the kids got ill all the time so I had to take loads of time off as they were constantly sent home (sometimes for spurrious reasons). But my CM has about 4 members of staff so she doesn't ever close for sickness. You just really need someone you can depend on to provide childcare because otherwise your work record reflects your absences and your DC's absences and your CM's absences and that's just not fair on you.

I think she is just saying that she is I’ll as her kids are off school, this has happened several times before, I don’t think texting at 1040pm saying she’ll be off the whole week is acceptable.

OP posts:
Tatonka · 11/02/2024 23:30

It sounds like you don't trust her or have any respect for her (fair enough, I'd probably feel the same), so find someone else. Not only is she unreliable but I wouldn't want someone I disliked looking after my child.

Original poster
LittleMissPenny · 11/02/2024 23:30

Ktime · 11/02/2024 23:23

Sounds like she knows she has you over a barrel. Is nursery not an option?

I currently work in a nursery in a different town so it is not an option. My son goes to preschool in the same area as my childminder.

OP posts:
DontLeanOnTheKeyboard · 11/02/2024 23:34

You say no other options…so it’s neither here nor there if YABU…..stop work or accept it. Or move.

Original poster
LittleMissPenny · 11/02/2024 23:34

Tatonka · 11/02/2024 23:30

It sounds like you don't trust her or have any respect for her (fair enough, I'd probably feel the same), so find someone else. Not only is she unreliable but I wouldn't want someone I disliked looking after my child.

It’s hard to have respect for someone who lies. Whenever I collect my child from her she doesn’t tell me about his day, she talks about herself and recently there has been times where she won’t keep my son past 5 even though she is open to 6- she knows there is often days where I work in the office and can’t come home to that time so expects me to change my work time to suit her

OP posts:
Ktime · 11/02/2024 23:35

LittleMissPenny · 11/02/2024 23:30

I currently work in a nursery in a different town so it is not an option. My son goes to preschool in the same area as my childminder.

Show quote history

Could you move your child to a pre-school near your school? Or is there a catchment issue?

Original poster
LittleMissPenny · 11/02/2024 23:36

Ktime · 11/02/2024 23:35

Could you move your child to a pre-school near your school? Or is there a catchment issue?

Show quote history

I don’t see the sense in moving him to a different school when he starts primary school in September x

OP posts:
Original poster
LittleMissPenny · 11/02/2024 23:38

Would you believe her?

Annoyed at my childminder’s unreliability
OP posts:
hjkvb · 11/02/2024 23:40

As a comparison my childminder of 3 years has never had a sick day. She has had planned holidays but lets us known months in advance

Original poster
LittleMissPenny · 11/02/2024 23:43

hjkvb · 11/02/2024 23:40

As a comparison my childminder of 3 years has never had a sick day. She has had planned holidays but lets us known months in advance

Can I ask how many days holiday she has a year? Mine has 29 days.

OP posts:
SecondUsername4me · 11/02/2024 23:46

Last year alone she has closed 15 times

This is insane. My cm has been a cm since about 1995. I'd be shocked if she has had to close 15 times in her almost 30 years in the job. She certainly never closed once in the 8 years I used her.

SecondUsername4me · 11/02/2024 23:47

Mine has 29 days

Does this include bank holidays?