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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Going to be a long one work (again)

83 replies

Drowningnotwaving74 · 11/02/2024 11:42

Started April last year
Developed a health condition we are still trying to diagnose basically vitamin not being absorbed, bones hurt, tired, joint pain, twisted joints. Partner had a heart attack during dr strikes didn't get full treatment this was rectified Friday.
Car died
I am learning to drive but couldn't get test till April this year and shouldn't be cos codeine for pain
I got then to extend probation as couldn't drive in Oct
New hr manager wants me to go in Tuesday for a meeting won't say why.

I'm tired, feel crap and want self cert Mon and tue as I am off rest of week for more tests.

Should I suck it up like I have been or call in..
Unreasonable go in stop being a baby.
Reasonable call in if they sack you they sack you

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
theeyeshaveit82 · 13/02/2024 06:17

i’m guessing the HR meeting wasn’t a promotion.

Atethehalloweenchocs · 12/02/2024 12:58

Better to go in and know what it is about, especially when you are off the rest of the week. Otherwise would you be wondering about it while you are off? Sounds like the timing has been really off in this job.

Muchof · 12/02/2024 11:19

Drowningnotwaving74 · 11/02/2024 12:13

What is your problem? Hungover. Hangry?
I asked them to extend so I had flexibility as changes were coming and they are badly managed.

I suggested the driving as a reason,I have also suggested occupational health as support but as I haven't been off they won't.

No, I am asking because cannot cope, we don't know what's wrong with me,I am in constant pain can't walk very far, tired to the point i pass out, partner on heart attack 2 2nd in 3 months

I am neither hungover or hangry, but I cannot understand what you are taking about. Your posts make no sense, you are answering questions with more and more nonsense.

If your only question is should you call in sick to avoid an HR meeting, then I would say no, because it is only postponing it. They aren’t going to think oh well we won’t bother then.

theeyeshaveit82 · 12/02/2024 11:13

@juice92 not even a couple of sick days taken….

juice92 · 12/02/2024 11:13

It sounds like you are a regional manager of some sort. I would imagine that being able to get around that region is pretty important. If your 'region' is 10 sites in central London, not driving shouldn't really be an issue, if your region is 30 sites across rural Wales, this could be very different. But if it was the latter, why would you take a job on anyway, knowing that you couldn't drive?

Also a company would not sack someone for a couple of sick days and annual leave.

I am so confused.

theeyeshaveit82 · 12/02/2024 11:05

what did you decide?

theeyeshaveit82 · 11/02/2024 17:19

ok so now your shoes, still on probation, id wager it will be about that.

self-cert sickness probably not best idea at this stage. when did you join?

Drowningnotwaving74 · 11/02/2024 17:17

theeyeshaveit82 · 11/02/2024 17:12

are you still on your probation Op? it’s relevant to what the meeting might be about!!

Yes, I asked for an extension in November I think

OP posts:
theeyeshaveit82 · 11/02/2024 17:12

are you still on your probation Op? it’s relevant to what the meeting might be about!!

theeyeshaveit82 · 11/02/2024 17:11

So are you saying that your notice period is shorter in your probation period and you wanted to keep that shorter notice period in case you wanted to quit?

finally!! thank you for the clarity.

Drowningnotwaving74 · 11/02/2024 17:11

Hidingthegoodchocolate · 11/02/2024 17:10

So are you saying that your notice period is shorter in your probation period and you wanted to keep that shorter notice period in case you wanted to quit?

But at the same time, you’re so committed to the job that you work extra weekends, don’t take sick leave, and stay at work while your partner has a cardiac procedure?

I can see you’re exhausted, but the two things don’t match up - either you want to go, or you want to stay.

I truly hope things get better for you and you get the outcome you want.

Exactly that

I work in a professional field and have professionally liability so yep I work weekends despite not wanting to stay

OP posts:
theeyeshaveit82 · 11/02/2024 17:10

I haven't done anything wrong to me its like when the police speak to you you still panic

they aren’t going to forget about the meeting op if you’re off all of next week

go on and address. From what you’ve detailed here - no absences, working weekends, not driving being a non issue - means they have no grounds for anything negative surely

perhaps it’s a promotion! a pay rise!

Hidingthegoodchocolate · 11/02/2024 17:10

So are you saying that your notice period is shorter in your probation period and you wanted to keep that shorter notice period in case you wanted to quit?

But at the same time, you’re so committed to the job that you work extra weekends, don’t take sick leave, and stay at work while your partner has a cardiac procedure?

I can see you’re exhausted, but the two things don’t match up - either you want to go, or you want to stay.

I truly hope things get better for you and you get the outcome you want.

Drowningnotwaving74 · 11/02/2024 17:09

TinyGingerCat · 11/02/2024 17:07

Asking for your probation to be extended not only means you can leave with less notice, it means your employer can get rid of you with less notice. It was an unusual move on your part OP. Sounds like it might not be the job for you if you were already thinking how quickly you could leave. Hard to look for another job when you don't feel well and have so much going on at home though. Probably best to go to the HR meeting and try and get off probation in current job so you have a bit of financial stability.

I was, itnwas the lack of.clarity made.me twitchy and I wanted to walk if necessary

OP posts:
theeyeshaveit82 · 11/02/2024 17:07

Drowningnotwaving74 · 11/02/2024 17:05

Depends which role doesn't it

The role I'm actually doing, no impact

why did it need to result in your probation being extended? and are you still on probation?

Drowningnotwaving74 · 11/02/2024 17:07

theeyeshaveit82 · 11/02/2024 17:03

because of your personal circumstances

and now the meeting with hr

you have been open with hr so why not just say that you are taking the days off and can the meeting be rescheduled

but surely will just hang over you

are you still on probation?

The constant role changes and lack of.clarity haven't helped

OP posts:
TinyGingerCat · 11/02/2024 17:07

Asking for your probation to be extended not only means you can leave with less notice, it means your employer can get rid of you with less notice. It was an unusual move on your part OP. Sounds like it might not be the job for you if you were already thinking how quickly you could leave. Hard to look for another job when you don't feel well and have so much going on at home though. Probably best to go to the HR meeting and try and get off probation in current job so you have a bit of financial stability.

Drowningnotwaving74 · 11/02/2024 17:05

theeyeshaveit82 · 11/02/2024 17:01

nope still don’t get it

so it had zero impact on your employer or it did have an impact on your employer?

Depends which role doesn't it

The role I'm actually doing, no impact

OP posts:
theeyeshaveit82 · 11/02/2024 17:04

if you had to hazard a guess why HR has called the meeting, what would it be? because in all your follow up posts you have given absolutely no indication that they’d have any reason to have a negative meeting with you

theeyeshaveit82 · 11/02/2024 17:03

Drowningnotwaving74 · 11/02/2024 17:01

Because I am at bloody breaking point

because of your personal circumstances

and now the meeting with hr

you have been open with hr so why not just say that you are taking the days off and can the meeting be rescheduled

but surely will just hang over you

are you still on probation?

theeyeshaveit82 · 11/02/2024 17:01

Drowningnotwaving74 · 11/02/2024 17:00

I don't know whether your being deliberately obtuse.

I can walk with shorter notice so I also have flexibility

nope still don’t get it

so it had zero impact on your employer or it did have an impact on your employer?

Drowningnotwaving74 · 11/02/2024 17:01

theeyeshaveit82 · 11/02/2024 17:01

and if you haven’t taken one single day off despite your serious family health issue…. i just can’t fathom why you’re thinking of self very two days sick to avoid this meeting. Why?

Because I am at bloody breaking point

OP posts:
theeyeshaveit82 · 11/02/2024 17:01

and if you haven’t taken one single day off despite your serious family health issue…. i just can’t fathom why you’re thinking of self very two days sick to avoid this meeting. Why?

Drowningnotwaving74 · 11/02/2024 17:00

theeyeshaveit82 · 11/02/2024 17:00

I asked because I had had my role changed and I wanted the flexibility to leave easier.

leave what? still doesn’t make sense op

I don't know whether your being deliberately obtuse.

I can walk with shorter notice so I also have flexibility

OP posts:
theeyeshaveit82 · 11/02/2024 17:00

I asked because I had had my role changed and I wanted the flexibility to leave easier.

leave what? still doesn’t make sense op