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AIBU?

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Original poster

5+ year age gap

30 replies

ladycarlotta · 09/02/2024 10:59

Hi all,
I'd like to lead with the fact that if we could have had children closer together we would have, but due to recurrent miscarriage we could not have children 2-3 years apart as we had planned. So just... go gentle on judging why we are looking at a gap this large.

We have one reception-age DC. If we continue to TTC the closest age gap we could manage would be 5.5 years between DC and a new baby. What are MNers experiences of that kind of age gap? How large a gap between siblings would you consider before it became undesirable to you? Or do we just throw in the towel and accept that we have an only? This would be fine since DC is a joy.

OP posts:
MammaTill2Pojkar · 09/02/2024 11:18

My personal cut off for a 2nd was a 4 year age gap, if I hadn't fallen pregnant in that time frame my eldest would have been an only. My personal reasoning for this is myself being the youngest of 3 girls, my sisters are 4 years and 6 years older than me and I often felt very left out, however it probably didn't help that there were 3 of us (one of the reasons I am stopping at 2 children) and they were only 2 years apart and so much closer as a result.

Viewfrommyhouse · 09/02/2024 11:16

There's 7 years between me and my sister. My dm has never had any issues or judgement. You talk about age gaps like they're taboo or a massive problem. Why would anyone judge you? Confused

Cathbrownlow · 09/02/2024 11:14

I thought you were going to say 20 years! (Although that would still be fine). So long as you're up for the baby years again, I don't see a problem at all. As pp have said, you can never predict how siblings are going to get along, all you get to do is to parent the best you can. Best wishes.

BugsyDrakeTableScape · 09/02/2024 11:09

There's 5.5 years between my eldest and youngest. They get on fine at times, at others not but that's siblings for you! It's a fairly typical gap for lots of people, great chance for 121 time with baby whilst the eldest is at school and still have plenty of time for the big one. The oldest is more self sufficient and helpful as well whilst you deal with the needs of the baby.

I really don't think it's a problem. Hope all goes well for you x

Skyblue92 · 09/02/2024 11:07

If we decide to have another we are looking at the same. Personally I’m fine with it. There is 13 years between me and my sister (I’m the youngest) and we get on far better than her two eldest children who are 11 months apart.

everyone will have different experiences, if you want a second go for it; just because it was/wasn’t good for them doesn’t mean it will be the same for you.

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