To think the school should do something?

Starting a conversation with the school doesn’t have to make you ‘that parent’, just make it a constructive discussion through your tone. Maybe a letter or email initially so you can read through and make sure it’s not ranty?

In my experience schools are very open to working with parents on all sorts of issues - if you’re reasonable, they’re usually reasonable (though perhaps I have been lucky!). Find out what their communication policy is (there might be a flow chart of who deals with what… beginning with a teacher with responsibility for whatever it is, then the head, then the governors) and follow it so they’re not immediately expecting some kind of negativity.

I’d be suggesting to them that maybe the school comes up with a healthy eating policy - then it’s not only about classroom celebration snacks but school dinners too (which already have to adhere to certain guidelines I believe) and maybe guidance for packed lunches (I think this isn’t unusual for primary schools at least). Maybe it could include something about only celebrating children’s birthdays and suggest appropriately sized treats? Tiny bags of Haribo are the norm at my daughter’s school, which are pure junk of course, but they’re not likely to make them avoid dinner.

I know there’s the argument that kids don’t have to eat everything they’re offered, but they’re kids - their brains literally aren’t wired to have very much self control and considered decision-making ability until they’re older, and I’m sure I’ve read something about young tastebuds favouring sweet foods more. I think also there’s a risk of (especially with younger ones who don’t understand) creating more differences and rivalries if there’s a situation where some kids are allowed and others aren’t. Maybe the religious holiday celebrations can be incorporated into the assemblies or RE instead? If it’s on parents to highlight these things then possibly some classes are getting the awareness and others aren’t… that might be something to talk with the head / subject leader for RE or maybe PSHE about?

YANBU, my kids are now 18 and 20, while still at primary, this was discouraged, probably due to allergies as much as sugar. So it is not unusual to discourage this kind of things on school.

I'd have more of an issue with this stuff than cake. More unnecessary tat churned out in factories paying workers a pittance, shipped across the world and destined for land fill. I can't bear all the "party bag" style junk kids accumulate.

I was at school in the 90s and it was normal for people to bring in a Birthday treat, usually just an actual cake that would then be sliced and shared. I think I'd be quite cross if the school banned it for everyone on the basis of one parent moaning. Just make sure you give them healthy things at home. It's a shame we can't let children have a bit of a treat when with their friends at school. They could say only for Birthdays or something which would mean it isn't happening all the time.

I was in primary school 20-25 years ago and it was common then to bring in sweets for birthdays.

They will definitely listen to you. Leaders in the school are probably annoyed too. They just need that one parent to come forward. There will be other parents thinking the same who do not have the means or courage to say something.

No one is advocating for it to be a daily thing.

Plenty of people are saying - have some rules between you and your child, calibrate their diet elsewhere, keep your response in moderation.

Behaving as though certain death awaits and turning something really quite minor into a big issue is something to be wary of. As your DC grow, the level of control you can exert over their choices and what they eat diminishes rapidly. Far better to have calm conversations, not attach moral judgement and let a few things imo.

I would far rather my child was given something edible in a packet I can take off them and put in my pocket than bubbles that you know would be split in the car or flicked in a sibling's eye in about 5 seconds. I'd be joining you in moaning to the school if that idea took off!

Our school doesn't allow food like this. So parents have got really creative. They give books, stickers, pencils, bubbles. So much more fun.

Interested to hear their reply as my DDs school was a flat no

Only joking

The PPs saying it's okay for a child to eat chocolate or sweets as long as it's only "once per day" have thrown me too. Surely not many adults eat sugary stuff at that frequency, so why do so many think it's acceptable for tiny children to?

Slightly off topic but when I lived in NZ and came across fairy bread I was properly shocked !! White bread, spread with butter, topped with 100s and 1000s 🤮🤮🤮

This thing of bringing a load of sugary crap into school for your birthday is a new one for me. When did this become common place? I was in primary school 20 years ago so I guess times must have changed.

When I was in school, I remember one girl used to go to the US every couple of years, and she'd bring back American sweets or chocolate for the class. There was the odd occasion where other people brought stuff in too. But it really wasn't that often, no more than a couple of times per academic year. I certainly never took anything in - I've just asked my mum out if interest and she said it would never have occurred to her that I should take other children sweets and chocolate to celebrate my own birthday I certainly won't be doing it for my own children!

This is how I felt about my DC's school before lockdown I ended up saying she's not allowed sugar. Everyday was a celebration, so much sugar for such little bodies. Thankfully after lockdown common sense came into action.

Bringing food into school (apart from your own lunch box every day - school meals aren’t widespread here) is not a thing where I live. Thankfully!

I would have loved this as a kid as I couldn't eat the repulsive school dinners! I don't remember there ever being treats at school back then. It seems a bit excessive, and if it's stopping your kids from eating their evening meal that's not good. Talk to the school gently about it, there must be other parents who would rather have more control over what their kids eat (beyond a school lunch/ pack lunch). I guess there could be a few poorer kids in the class who rely on all those snacks to fill up on, they may not have a big enough meal at home. But that's not healthy either.

Our school have a ban on bringing treats like this into school. Occasionally kids will offer them around in the playground (more individual sweets rather than cakes), and I've taught my kids to ask me first (most kids usually go around asking parents if they would like one for their child tbh!)

Also a very diverse London school here!

I'm wondering what school it is 😋. My class give out sweets on their birthday but usually just a very small pack of Haribo or Moam. Never cake or outlandish treats sometimes it's things like pencils and lots don't do anything.

Special brownies as in hash brownies?

My DM is a primary teacher and she only allows kids to bring in food on the Friday of their "birthday week" which works well as it's usually the day before any party so they're still excited. In this case it could be each Friday of event week only. Each child is allowed one item, the rest gets returned to the family. They will soon learn to bring less! You could suggest to the class teacher as a compromise?

I find this interesting because my diet as a child, and that of my siblings and contemporaries was 1000% worse than our DC's! Not necessarily the sugar front but we were fed huge amounts of white bread, potatoes, proper butter, weird 'new' convenience foods like findus pancakes etc and my DC have so many varied fresh fruit and veg etc.

The obesity crisis is far more complex than children having the occasional bag of haribo after school. Like so many public health issues, the children most affected are those who are disadvantaged in many ways. It may be these children who need more communal celebrations, fun and treats at school, not less, so just banning things isn't necessarily the way to go.

Does your school let the kids eat these treats in school? Because if so I think that would be the easiest thing to tackle; suggest they give these treats out at the end of the day as the kids are going home. This gives control back to the parents and eases the burden of allergy-awareness on the school whilst still allowing people to feel good about providing treats.

This is what our school (and I'm pretty sure most schools) do. My kids know they aren't allowed to eat the treat until they've checked with me - and then I can decide. A fun-sized choc bar, I'll probably let them eat it on the way home. A huge cupcake? I'll suggest they leave it till after dinner - and then share it with their sibling or a parent. A big treat on a day when we have plans like baking or whatever? I'll either tell them no or ask them 'do you want to eat that or do you want to bake with me at home?'