Would you expect a thoughtful gift?

I agree with others that this seems less about the gift and more about time spent away/do you get a trip too - do you even want one?/expectations around you picking up the load when he is gone.

The actual gifts sound like normal stuff people bring you back from holiday, assuming you like wine and chocolate. Often on holiday there isn't any specific thing from the place that you need to bring back for a person.

I’m with @Xmasbaby11

I'm fairly sure that if someone posted "I went away for a few days with friends while my DH stayed at home with our kids. He doesn't really have any particular interests and there are so many things he doesn't like, so I got him a bottle of wine and some chocolates. He's now sulking because I didn't get him a more 'thoughtful' gift. AIBU?" people would be replying to say he's being ungrateful/spoilt/childish to expect a gift at all for looking after his own kids.

Anyway. I wouldn't expect a gift at all if my partner went away, and he wouldn't expect one from me. It's just not a thing we do, and shopping isn't really a feature of holidays for us - and airport shopping is quite limited unless you have a lot of money to splash around.

It sounds like the real issue isn't the lack of a gift, but the fact that you resent him having lots of trips away (which I am assuming you don't?) - and that is quite understandable. So YABU to be kicking off over not getting a bespoke gift, but YANBU to be fed up with your husband going off on holidays without you all the time if a) that is indeed what is happening and b) you don't ever get to go away yourself.

Does he save any holiday time to spend with his family?

Oh come on!

I feel both my husband and I should get to do what we like. I’m not getting your point, we just cover each other.

the op should have equal opportunity, but as she says it’s her work colleagues who think x, maybe she’s not got any mates?

Not really no, I’d be happy with that, I find it’s the thought that counts.

plus kids are teens, has it really been very stressful. Are the sick relatives his and not yours?

Apparently I don't like anything and have no interests which is why he couldn't get me anything.
So this is the excuse he came up with? Good grief, he sounds delightful. Make him write an essay on your interests or better yet, let him do a smartshow 3d presentation about your hobbies and why are they important to you. Seriously, how indifferent can one be?

OH thinks he should be able to do what he likes when he likes.
What about you being able to do what you like whenever you like? He knows it works both ways, right?

As for your initial question, I probably wouldn't expect a gift but I wouldn't be happy with the excuses like that and I'd look for a gift for my SO if I were him, so his behaviour is frustrating either way.

OH thinks he should be able to do what he likes when he likes.

Surely what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Arrange your own time away with friends and off you go. Couple of weekends here and there if you're not keen on a holiday away.

Him swanning off on hols if you're not happy about it and being rude to you on his return are far more important than the boring present.

My dh went to Thailand for 2 and half weeks , I got a crappy wind chime , it's still in the bag on a shelf. I've bought myself plenty since, during and after

I didn’t buy dh a gift when I went to Ibiza with friends for a few days. It would have been tat he wouldn’t have wanted so I just said for him to buy something hobby related guilt free. If he was going away right now I’d probably as for my perfume (because it’s low).

If you want something, buy it for yourself. What’s the point of him trying to buy a “thoughtful” gift when there’s a good chance he won’t get it right anyway.

If you have equal opportunity to go away, that’s fine. If you don’t, I’d be more worried about that than him bringing back a gift.

If you agreed to him going away, it’s pretty shit to get stroppy with him about the lack of a gift that you deem sufficiently thoughtful. I’m assuming you agreed to hold the fort while he was away - Again, if that’s not the case, you have a far bigger issue.

Are the children his? Why does he think he can do what he like when he likes? What happens to the house? Is he generally selfish and irresponsible?

You missed your chance, he wouldn't have recognised me or the house once he got back, l would have treated myself to a brand new make over, got myself another rescue cat for company, clocked off from the housework, ordered lots of new Dvds and takeaways, put deposit down on holiday for myself.
Whilst the cats away........

me and my husband go one holidays alone. Seems like you guys do too!

No. Sometimes he’s picked up a bottle of vodka from duty free because he’s passing but generally no.
You sound like a proper martyr op.
i never get dh anything when I go on holiday without him either.
I’m not on holiday for shopping opportunities.
We both go away with our own friends as much as time/annual leave/childcare covering allows.

Another who wouldn’t expect a gift. But I would expect equal amount of time ‘off’ of household duties.

OH thinks he should be able to do what he likes when he likes.
I also wouldn’t expect this dick attitude.

What were you hoping for?

I don’t really see anything wrong with it, tbh.

Presumably you can also go away and leave him to it.

I'd be delighted. Assuming it was a big bar!

I think thats actually a nice gift but I wouldnt really expect anything.

However, I would expect equal opportunity for me to go away whilst he picks up the home duties if I wanted to

I've long given up expecting thoughtful gifts! However no way would I expect my DH to go away on two independent holidays like that within a month and leaving me to cope with all the household / family stuff alone .

I'm not actually sure I believe this ? As if he has done this then you are asking the wrong question .

I wouldn’t necessarily expect a gift from the trip but would expect some sort of acknowledgment as a thank you - whether that be he takes over so you can have time to yourself or he encourages you to book some time away for yourself.

That’s a lot of holidays. I don’t think I’d expect a present as such. I’d rather he just did his bit to catch up at home and made my life easier however he can, and made sure I had chance to have time off however suited me. And money available.

DH and I both travel a lot and neither of us would expect the other to faff about looking for gifts whilst away. It's a pain in the backside and not always possible with the schedule. To me, it's always seemed a bit needy to expect your partner to pay a price for their trip with "thoughtful gifts".